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Old 07-24-2008, 11:02 PM   #256
desertgrandma
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Thank you, Thank you......let's see....(thinking....hard......)

OH! There was a young man from Nan...............uh.........never mind.
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Old 07-24-2008, 11:13 PM   #257
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Thank you, Thank you......let's see....(thinking....hard......)

OH! There was a young man from Nan...............uh.........never mind.
Yeah, but he went.
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Old 07-24-2008, 11:49 PM   #258
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Thank you, Thank you......let's see....(thinking....hard......)

OH! There was a young man from Nan...............uh.........never mind.
Really I always wanted to go to Nantucket. Wonder what there is to do there??

JJ
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Old 07-25-2008, 12:04 AM   #259
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Really I always wanted to go to Nantucket. Wonder what there is to do there??

JJ

See? Even the duck would have just 'let it go'........but you? Noooooo...... Its the Monkey, people, all this time its been "The Monkey!"
Watch your bananas!
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Old 07-25-2008, 12:47 AM   #260
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...
Watch your bananas!
Is that a euphemism? If it's not, JJ can go to Nantucket and buy something to put them in, like a bucket. Or, when he's done with eating one and only has a skin left he can chuck it. He might want to make something tropical for dinner with one, in which case he can stuff a chicken - just remember to pluck it. If he goes to Nantucket by sailing boat, he needs to watch the boom and remember to duck it. Go easy at the wharf; a mate of mine came in too fast once and struck it. If he's got too much baggage for the yacht, he could always truck it. He wants to look his best too, so if he wears his good shirt he need to remember to tuck it.

Hey, look. There's some chewing gum on my bedpost. So that's where I stuck it.

Cheers
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Old 07-25-2008, 01:15 AM   #261
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Is that a euphemism? If it's not, JJ can go to Nantucket and buy something to put them in, like a bucket. Or, when he's done with eating one and only has a skin left he can chuck it. He might want to make something tropical for dinner with one, in which case he can stuff a chicken - just remember to pluck it. If he goes to Nantucket by sailing boat, he needs to watch the boom and remember to duck it. Go easy at the wharf; a mate of mine came in too fast once and struck it. If he's got too much baggage for the yacht, he could always truck it. He wants to look his best too, so if he wears his good shirt he need to remember to tuck it.

Hey, look. There's some chewing gum on my bedpost. So that's where I stuck it.

Cheers
He may first need to make a buck, because bananas bring good luck, sure hope he doesn't get struck by a stray puck, which came flying out of the muck, covered by guck, hit by someone named Chuck, which made the Monkey say "Yuck!!"
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Old 07-25-2008, 01:32 AM   #262
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Originally Posted by montsnmags View Post
Is that a euphemism? If it's not, JJ can go to Nantucket and buy something to put them in, like a bucket. Or, when he's done with eating one and only has a skin left he can chuck it. He might want to make something tropical for dinner with one, in which case he can stuff a chicken - just remember to pluck it. If he goes to Nantucket by sailing boat, he needs to watch the boom and remember to duck it. Go easy at the wharf; a mate of mine came in too fast once and struck it. If he's got too much baggage for the yacht, he could always truck it. He wants to look his best too, so if he wears his good shirt he need to remember to tuck it.

Hey, look. There's some chewing gum on my bedpost. So that's where I stuck it.

Cheers
It always comes back to the Duck... I knew it!

Quote:
Originally Posted by desertgrandma View Post
He may first need to make a buck, because bananas bring good luck, sure hope he doesn't get struck by a stray puck, which came flying out of the muck, covered by guck, hit by someone named Chuck, which made the Monkey say "Yuck!!"
For some reason I think there is a subliminal message in here...
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Old 07-25-2008, 02:08 AM   #263
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It always comes back to the Duck... I knew it!



For some reason I think there is a subliminal message in here...
But, JJ, the driver was thunderstruck when the firetruck ran over the woodchuck........it made him upchuck!!
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Old 07-25-2008, 03:32 AM   #264
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keep 'em coming folks...these are hilarious...

said the actress to the bishops as they all stood in line...
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Old 07-25-2008, 06:24 AM   #265
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Not sure how this will work in type, but:

How do you get an elephant in a Safeway's* plastic bag?
Take the s out of Safe and the F out of Way

(Safeway is a supermarket in the UK for reference, but this is not an important detail)

On safer ground:

What do you call a judge with no fingers?
Justice Thumbs

What lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers?
A nervous wreck

And, in an attempt to add to the hilarity and mayhem:

Superman goes to bed wearing Chuck Norris pyjamas.

(apologies in advance for anyone who has been subjected to, is yet to be subjected to, or who may subsequently become embroiled in the 'Chuck Norris Facts' phenomena)
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Old 07-25-2008, 06:52 AM   #266
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Originally Posted by desertgrandma View Post
But, JJ, the driver was thunderstruck when the firetruck ran over the woodchuck........it made him upchuck!!
So are you saying that the Driver didnt give a _____ so anyway back to the thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mindy View Post
Not sure how this will work in type, but:

How do you get an elephant in a Safeway's* plastic bag?
Take the s out of Safe and the F out of Way

(Safeway is a supermarket in the UK for reference, but this is not an important detail)

On safer ground:

What do you call a judge with no fingers?
Justice Thumbs

What lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers?
A nervous wreck

And, in an attempt to add to the hilarity and mayhem:

Superman goes to bed wearing Chuck Norris pyjamas.

(apologies in advance for anyone who has been subjected to, is yet to be subjected to, or who may subsequently become embroiled in the 'Chuck Norris Facts' phenomena)
We would like to refer to it as Duck Norris around these parts!

JJ
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Old 07-25-2008, 07:23 AM   #267
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Old 07-25-2008, 09:10 AM   #268
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Quote:
Originally Posted by montsnmags View Post
Is that a euphemism? If it's not, JJ can go to Nantucket and buy something to put them in, like a bucket. Or, when he's done with eating one and only has a skin left he can chuck it. He might want to make something tropical for dinner with one, in which case he can stuff a chicken - just remember to pluck it. If he goes to Nantucket by sailing boat, he needs to watch the boom and remember to duck it. Go easy at the wharf; a mate of mine came in too fast once and struck it. If he's got too much baggage for the yacht, he could always truck it. He wants to look his best too, so if he wears his good shirt he need to remember to tuck it.

Hey, look. There's some chewing gum on my bedpost. So that's where I stuck it.

Cheers
I'm just going to have to have you killed now.

$250, please. You can pay the laddy at the door.
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Old 07-25-2008, 09:11 AM   #269
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... an old one.

An Armadillo, a Panda and a Duck are sitting at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter walks up to the armadillo and asks what happened.

The armadillo say "I don't know I was just walking down the street and a fridge came through a window and landed on my head."

Saint Peter asks the panda what happened.

The panda says, "I was sure my wife was cheating on me with a sailor. I came home early one day and there was a sailor's cap on the floor. I was furious and looked all through the apartment and couldn't find him. In a fit of rage I picked up the fridge and tossed it out the window. I felt a pain in my chest and next thing I was here."

Saint Peter asked the duck what happened.

The duck said, "I don't know. I was just sitting in a fridge minding my own business..."
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Old 07-25-2008, 09:21 AM   #270
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I'm just going to have to have you killed now.

$250, please. You can pay the laddy at the door.
At that price I'm afraid we can only trim his toe-nails...
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