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Old 05-28-2008, 09:49 PM   #166
montsnmags
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Wait till you see the probe they use! It's 4 feet long and 1 inch in diameter, then you'll also be stricken with heart problems.
So many Benny Hill lines; so little time.

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There's a good part though, they have to administer an opiate of some kind. Cool buzz. Of course no driving allowed.
That's okay, I hate golf.

Cheers,
Marc (trembling in terror)
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Old 05-28-2008, 10:17 PM   #167
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You people. (You MALE people, I mean.) Until you have had your uterus "sounded" you don't know what discomfort is. I am so glad I decided to opt out of having babies.

No, I will not provide further details.

On second thought, maybe I WILL. You can prevent this by sending large quantities of chocolate my way. 70% cocoa or don't waste my time.
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Old 05-28-2008, 10:22 PM   #168
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You people. (You MALE people, I mean.) Until you have had your uterus "sounded" you don't know what discomfort is. I am so glad I decided to opt out of having babies.
i know, right ??

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No, I will not provide further details.

On second thought, maybe I WILL. You can prevent this by sending large quantities of chocolate my way. 70% cocoa or don't waste my time.
y'all, i would take that very seriously. you should be organising a freighter-load of 70% chocolate by tomorrow morning, if you know what's good for you. and i say that as a woman.
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Old 05-28-2008, 10:28 PM   #169
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...
No, I will not provide further details.

On second thought, maybe I WILL.
While tactfully avoiding the ARRGHHNOTHESCREAMINGHORRORMAKEITSTOPMAKEITSTOP! subject, the times that news or documentary programs have shown a mammogram in action, I've thought to myself, "No...that can't be right...surely...". It made me wonder if, when they said "screening" they meant "screen printing").

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You can prevent this by sending large quantities of chocolate my way. 70% cocoa or don't waste my time.
I've chartered a tanker.

Cheers,
Marc
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Old 05-29-2008, 09:54 AM   #170
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There is a new optical test that my optometrist uses. Nothing other than the usual bright lights shining on your retinas. Much better than the other types!
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Old 05-29-2008, 10:02 AM   #171
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There is a new optical test that my optometrist uses. Nothing other than the usual bright lights shining on your retinas. Much better than the other types!
are you sure this test is for eye *tension* ? mine uses bright lights to measure other things (including whether i am more myopic / astigmatic than the last time) but i don't see how they could measure tension just by shining a light at it...

i'm not saying you're wrong though, because i sincerely hope that it *is* a new test and that it soon will be standard in all ophtalmologist's offices, replacing the horrible tortures they make you endure now.
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Old 05-29-2008, 10:37 AM   #172
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Had the prostate exam yesterday, SSDD. My next colon exam is scheduled in two months. Oh joy.

I have found that white chocolate does not relieve the cravings of women. It is no substitute for the REAL chocolate at the 70% cocoa level. Marc, make that a supertanker, a PANMAX tanker may not be enough.
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Old 05-29-2008, 10:42 AM   #173
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Had the prostate exam yesterday, SSDD. My next colon exam is scheduled in two months. Oh joy.
poor Wood....

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I have found that white chocolate does not relieve the cravings of women. It is no substitute for the REAL chocolate at the 70% cocoa level.
pfff, *obviously*, since white chocolate is not really chocolate at all but just some revolting mixture of sugar and butter, or something like that. beurk.
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Old 05-29-2008, 10:47 AM   #174
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Prostate check? Hah! that's nothing! Just you wait for the annual colonoscopy. Now that's a gas!Especially the flushing part.
Don't get me started on Go Lytely.

Seriously.
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Old 05-29-2008, 10:49 AM   #175
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are you sure this test is for eye *tension* ? mine uses bright lights to measure other things (including whether i am more myopic / astigmatic than the last time) but i don't see how they could measure tension just by shining a light at it...

i'm not saying you're wrong though, because i sincerely hope that it *is* a new test and that it soon will be standard in all ophtalmologist's offices, replacing the horrible tortures they make you endure now.
I was skeptical, too, but she insisted that it was the latest piece of gee whiz gizmodo for intra-ocular tension.
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Old 05-29-2008, 11:15 AM   #176
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pfff, *obviously*, since white chocolate is not really chocolate at all but just some revolting mixture of sugar and butter, or something like that. beurk.
Yes. Exactly.

I'm one of the few people I know who will actually eat the 99% stuff straight, though. (I admit I do generally prefer it as the base for my hot cocoa.)

Virtual tankers of chocolate are acceptable, so long as they are described enthusiastically enough. Extra points for organic fair-trade chocolate. I also accept single-estate organic Darjeeling tea, preferably first flush rather than autumnal.
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Old 05-29-2008, 11:21 AM   #177
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hmm, all this talk of chocoate has sent me to the kitchen... now i am savouring some "sélection NOIR 72% cacao aux éclats de fèves de cacao caramélisés" : 72% black chocolat with caramelised fragments of cacao beans. miam... here neko-chan, have some. the chocolate has a full rich flavor and is agreeably creamy as it melts on your tongue, and the fragments lend interesting texture as they are slightly crunchy and chewy between your teeth, with a rather smoky taste...
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Old 05-29-2008, 11:24 AM   #178
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hmm, all this talk of chocoate has sent me to the kitchen... now i am savouring some "sélection NOIR 72% cacao aux éclats de fèves de cacao caramélisés" : 72% black chocolat with caramelised fragments of cacao beans. miam... here neko-chan, have some. the chocolate has a full rich flavor and is agreeably creamy as it melts on your tongue, and the fragments lend interesting texture as they are slightly crunchy and chewy between your teeth, with a rather smoky taste...
Yummy! Thank you so much for sharing. Please accept in return some Dagoba organic dark chocolate, lavender, and blueberries. Only 59%, but the lavender provides some very interesting highlights. Or I have some Green & Black's organic bittersweet dark chocolate with crystallized ginger pieces, if you prefer.
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Old 05-29-2008, 11:26 AM   #179
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oh GINGER !!! yes please !!!!!

i am glad you enjoyed mine.
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Old 05-29-2008, 01:27 PM   #180
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And.... this is a rant in what way?
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