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Old 09-17-2013, 09:00 AM   #46
Dr. Drib
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We all are waiting breathlessly for your contribution.

In the meantime, there is this:

Let us introduce our characters, then, as they stand fortuitously grouped in front of a large mirror so that we may describe them before proceeding with our story: First, choleric Charles Cavendish, he of the overly large posterior; second, the Lady Harleigh, she of the heaving bosoms; third, Lord Charles Michel, he of the protuberant lips; fifth – I mean fourth – Charles Cavendish, he of the large earlobes - wait, that can’t be right; let me check my notes and see if that’s correct: OK, now to proceed with this opening sentence of my novel as we examine the fifth character (but rest assured there will be more later on, just as soon as I can locate another large mirror): his Lordship Charles Leonardo, a porcine, whimpering fool who, even now, bends to kiss the delicately-veined hand of Lady Harleigh who cringes at the touch of his overly-moist lips that move across her fingers like little caterpillars in search of food.



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Old 09-17-2013, 09:15 AM   #47
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Old 09-17-2013, 10:00 AM   #48
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Old 09-17-2013, 10:24 AM   #49
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She had the kind of face that looked best on a place mat, so I put my plate of liverwurst on it.



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Old 09-17-2013, 12:50 PM   #50
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Old 09-17-2013, 12:51 PM   #51
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She had a face like the Christmas sweater great aunt Enid once knitted me: baggy, ill-coloured, and something to put it in a dark cupboard to forget about.
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Old 09-17-2013, 02:29 PM   #52
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He had the kind of face that would look good on an orangutan, she thought dreamily, as she stood in front of the zoo’s entrance to the Orangutan compound and pondered the vicissitudes of life and whether or not she should buy him a bottle of hair-removal cream.



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Old 09-18-2013, 08:41 AM   #53
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Old 09-18-2013, 08:43 AM   #54
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Old 09-18-2013, 06:42 PM   #55
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Old 09-18-2013, 07:06 PM   #56
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Old 09-18-2013, 10:04 PM   #57
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I'm sure you've seen these --> http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/33-hi...-need-to-read/
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Old 09-19-2013, 08:54 AM   #58
Dr. Drib
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Originally Posted by PeterT View Post

Oh, yes, the "Bulwer-Lytton Prize" contest. I'm familiar with this.

I bought those books about 20 or so years ago and still have them. They're great and worth searching for. (I haven't checked to see if they're available as ebooks.)



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Old 09-19-2013, 08:54 AM   #59
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After placing a decrepit cardboard box of detacted body parts on my desk, the zombie waved the stump of his arm at me and intoned lugubriously, "I need you to find out who else has a hand in this mess."

Great!



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Old 09-19-2013, 09:40 AM   #60
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