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Old 08-24-2013, 06:15 PM   #76
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I agree there is a big difference between setting limits for young children and censorship.

However, exploring sexuality is a necessary & healthy part of growing up. I think monitoring everything a teenager reads or listens to is psychologically intrusive.

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Old 08-28-2013, 05:47 PM   #77
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I'm not prudish, but we are talking about children, and younger teens accessing things we think may be inappropriate for them. To that end, I think content sellers should have some responsibility considering the anonymous nature of an electronic sale. If nothing else, the simplest way to keep teens from purchasing/accessing content would be to simply offer a password protected option that would allow a parent to check the current reading list. This puts the emphasis back on the parent to do the parenting. Informing your child that access to their reading list exists lets them decide what to risk and leaves it up to you whether you need to check it or not. It might even allow the parent who gives a darn to get their kids to discuss with them concerning things they might like to read. I suggest this because trying to determine a content rating system for literature is as laughable as setting up movie ratings, etc. You know, once upon a time children and even teenagers were accompanied to the movies by their parents, many even watched television with their kids -imagine that!

Now, on the other side of the coin, being over protective is likely to result in a backlash, secretive behavior, and over indulgence the first chance that comes along. Whether we wish to face it or not, once puberty hits there is no putting the genie back in the bottle. The parents who make it known to their children that they were once young(gasp) and try to relate probably end up with the better balanced kids who knowing pros and cons are prepared to make judgements rather than just act on impulses. Sheltering your children too much will do them no good whatsoever, you'll merely retard their growth and then thrust them into an unfamiliar world when they leave the nest, and preparing them to leave the nest one day is a large part of the job as a parent, at least as important as protecting them until they do.

A final thought, you may think this strange, but one of the most humanizing things my father ever did was telling a dirty joke with me included in the "audience." The poor man tried so hard to be the proper upright father, and he was -my parents were happily married over 50 years and to my knowledge never spent a night apart except while hospitalized, but he became "human" to me that day. I guess what I'm saying is don't be afraid to let your teens see that you're as human as they are -well maybe not quite as human... A little honesty will go a lot farther than trying to perpetuate the perfect parent myth. By the way, let 'em make their own mistakes and learn from them while the mistakes are still little ones. You made your own didn't you? Do you honestly recall very often learning from anything other than mistakes? Think about it.
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Old 08-28-2013, 06:21 PM   #78
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They need to have a system where you can block certain category books. And then filter out books that contain profanity and suggestive language. It can be done easily by Amazon and the others.
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Old 08-28-2013, 06:42 PM   #79
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I remember the days when kids kept there stash of smut hidden away like it was a treasure trove. Maybe the parents would find it, maybe they wouldn't. If they found it, you started a new stash.
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Old 08-28-2013, 07:04 PM   #80
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Originally Posted by Istvan diVega View Post
I couldn't agree more. Also, unless you're living in a closed community and are willing to put in place 1984-like controls on your kids, they're going to gain access to what they want in any case. What you're doing by attempting to control and restrict reading and internet habits is simply to make the proscribed things and activities that much more enticing.
This. My parents wouldn't let me see "The Godfather" when the movie came out. I was thankful my school library had the book. In which, I might add, the sex scenes were more graphic than the movie. Oh, and this was a Catholic school.

I should also mention that the book route was my route of choice every time I was not allowed to see a movie. And that, thanks to my school library, I also got to read a lot of classics. And yes, some of those had more violence and sex than was probably entirely appropriate at the time, but here I am, non-porn addicted and fairly well read.

My parents had no idea what I was reading for the most part. That's what class was for, LOL! Paperback inside of text book. Sit near or at front of class, make good grades, the teachers won't bug you. I got loads of reading time at school.
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Old 08-29-2013, 04:57 AM   #81
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Originally Posted by TechniSol View Post
I'm not prudish, but we are talking about children, and younger teens accessing things we think may be inappropriate for them. To that end, I think content sellers should have some responsibility considering the anonymous nature of an electronic sale.
I personally think it is between parents and their children. If one can't trust their kids, one shouldn't hand them the devices accessing content the kids should not access.

When I was a young teen, I could borrow any book from the library I wanted, reading some explicit violence and sex has not made me into some pervert as far as I am aware
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Old 08-29-2013, 05:45 AM   #82
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Originally Posted by QuantumIguana View Post
I remember the days when kids kept there stash of smut hidden away like it was a treasure trove. Maybe the parents would find it, maybe they wouldn't. If they found it, you started a new stash.
As it seems, things changed a lot:

bash.org quote nr. 334331:

Quote:
<LordChewy> so my dad found my porn folder
<LordChewy> and he was getting all pissed
<LordChewy> so its all like "does this surprise you? i'm not stupid you know"
<LordChewy> "i know dad"
<LordChewy> "what do you have to say for yourself?"
<LordChewy> at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say "C:Documents and SettingsRickyMy Documentsfaxessent faxes"
<LordChewy> and he just shut up
<kingKahn> what is it?
<LordChewy> its his porn folder
It's NOT my quote.

Last edited by Freeshadow; 08-29-2013 at 05:46 AM. Reason: smileys deactivated
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Old 08-29-2013, 09:26 AM   #83
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I was never what you called censored in any way with my reading materials, same for video rentals/movies when the technology first came out. And yes I am that old, I clearly remember the whole VHS vs Betamax debate as well.

My brother and I weren't censored but we did have boundaries that we knew not to cross. Our Mother knew we knew the difference between fact/real life and fantasy/fiction so I suppose that went a long way towards trusting us to make the decisions on what to read/watch ourselves.

That said I find it ironic that it was a Kindle that was the offending device in question. Please note my irony/sarcasm before responding, pretty please.

Kindle, of all the digital readers (even tablets) that I've used to read on has the best parental controls to stop children/teenagers accessing inappropriate content I've come across so far. In fact given the PC they have installed on their devices was why my brother and his wife gave the go ahead for my parents and I to give my nephews Kindle Fire HD tabs for Christmas last year.

I believe at the end of the day it is up to the parent to make sure that any tech they give their children, or their children can access (lets face it kids don't always get permission before borrowing things even when they know better, that's reality), be safe for them to use. This includes parental controls or safety features and discussing what they can and cannot do with said devices.

Just my, well I wouldn't say two cents as I'm in the UK, so I will say what? My penny? Like penny for your thoughts. So my penny's worth will work here.
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Old 08-29-2013, 01:55 PM   #84
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Well, yeah, those have always been around. They are called Piers Anthony novels.

Okay, I exaggerate slightly, but as a kid, just reading fantasy, SF, and horror I ran into a lot of X-rated stuff.
Yes, same here. Bio of a Space Tyrant almost certain not to have met with parental approval for their first born daughter.
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Old 08-29-2013, 02:01 PM   #85
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I do feel there is a difference between censorship and waiting until the child is mature enough to handle the material..... for instance (as an extreme), would you let your 7 year old watch 'Night of the Living Dead'? or anything on CineMax with the word 'Desire' in it? Or what if your 12 year old came in at happy hour and asked for a dirty martini?..... Yes, these are extreme examples, but they illustrate the need for parents to set limits. Referring to any limits as being 'censorship' is inappropriate and rather naive. What limits you place as a parent are your own choice, but that some limits need to be set is basic parenting. May not be politically correct in this day and age, but there it is....
But then again, I was 5 when I first asked my father for a cigarette. He gave me one. I smoked it. It was my first and last. Although my father smoked, not one of us four kids ever did.
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Old 08-29-2013, 02:10 PM   #86
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I feel my sister is generally being a pretty good parent, and her kids are all turning out OK, but I also remember being secretly horrified the day she asked me whether Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" was appropriate reading material!

Even our own parents didn't go that far into reading restriction! They bought me my copy which I still have today.

I think there needs to be balance. Too much restriction being as bad as too little.
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Old 08-29-2013, 02:35 PM   #87
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But then again, I was 5 when I first asked my father for a cigarette. He gave me one. I smoked it. It was my first and last. Although my father smoked, not one of us four kids ever did.
Yeah, but this is a false analogy. Your father did this with the intent to put you off of smoking (funny, my dad did exactly the same thing with the same result!). I'm fairly certain if you had come back and said you liked it he would not have gone out and bought you a carton. Giving you an experience in the hopes of helping shape you is good parenting...but not all experiences are; if he had offered you a hit off of his crack pipe, it would be child abuse. Everything in perspective.
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Old 08-29-2013, 03:03 PM   #88
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Yeah, but this is a false analogy. Your father did this with the intent to put you off of smoking (funny, my dad did exactly the same thing with the same result!). I'm fairly certain if you had come back and said you liked it he would not have gone out and bought you a carton. Giving you an experience in the hopes of helping shape you is good parenting...but not all experiences are; if he had offered you a hit off of his crack pipe, it would be child abuse. Everything in perspective.
Oh true, but, if he'd made the cigarette forbidden, like many are talking about doing with books that don't fit their values or beliefs, there also might have been a considerably different outcome.
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Old 08-29-2013, 03:20 PM   #89
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Oh true, but, if he'd made the cigarette forbidden, like many are talking about doing with books that don't fit their values or beliefs, there also might have been a considerably different outcome.
Agreed!....a good example of the balance parents need to find.
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Old 08-31-2013, 01:47 PM   #90
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I remember in 5th grade everyone in our class passing around a copy of Forever by Judy Blume, which was too mature for 10- to 11-year-olds, and I think we all survived. My 11-year-old has access to my ebook collection. I don't think there's anything in there that would destroy her life or anything. I'm not into 50 Shades type books.

Kids have ways of passing around books. By 13 we were reading all sorts of stuff our parents would hate for us to read.

And some 13-year-olds have very high reading levels. I know when my 11-year-old is 13, I won't want her to not be able to read a good book because there is some sexual content. I think access to good books is more important that protecting her from reading about sex. By 13, they have all the hormones and all the interest. I don't see what the point would be. You can't protect them from feelings going on in their own bodies, and they don't need outside content to have those feeligns.
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