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Old 08-22-2013, 09:52 PM   #31
BWinmill
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Seriously, if they hadnt found the book, they probably would've found it on a website. They may have already found it on a website for that matter. This is a parenting issue, not a store issue.
I'd suggest that it is a multitude of issues. Children are subject to influences ranging from family, friends, the media, etc.. Children also interact with a large number of people that may or may not have their best interests in mind. (Example: individuals willing to sell or give children adult content, even though this decision belongs in the domain of the parents.)
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Old 08-22-2013, 10:00 PM   #32
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I'll admit - I wonder how parents today handle it. When I was young (oh, so many years ago) the big deal was whether a parent had the right to read a child's journal. Or search their room for naughty books or drug paraphernalia. I can't imagine today - do you confiscate their laptops or tablets? And what's to stop them from buying a $10 thumb drive or micro-SD card and keeping all the "good stuff" safely hidden away?
Kids could always secret things away, and the one time I bumped into that sort of thing as a child was because a friend found his father's stash. So I don't think much has changed on that front. What has changed is the technology. Stuff that kids once had to seek is now readily available online. Things that were once simply hidden are now locked away behind accounts and passwords. A tech savvy parent and a not so tech savvy kid makes it easy to figure out what's going on. Unfortunately, parents aren't always up to date with technology (and those who are may not know the latest fad) while kids can get tips from their friends to hide their activity.
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Old 08-22-2013, 10:58 PM   #33
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I remember buying a somewhat pornographic novel when I was 11 or 12... My mother wrenched it out of my hands one evening, and swore she was going to get whoever sold it to me, which I think was a Waldenbooks in Chicago at the time. She got over it, and so did I.
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Old 08-23-2013, 01:16 AM   #34
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Likewise you could argue why are ebook stores allowed to sell any kind of content to anyone, while stores selling game and video content have strict age regulations?
Because in general, the terms of service in online stores usually state you have to be an adult if you want to create an account.
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Old 08-23-2013, 01:19 AM   #35
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I don't want my 9 year old granddaughter exposed to some of the things easily found digitally, but I also remember taking my mom's copy of Harold Robbins' The Carpetbaggers when she and my dad were next door at the neighbour's house playing bridge.

From the Wikipedia entry on the book:



And yes, I was 9.
I believe that a similar experience happened in a lot of places when "Peyton Place" came out.
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Old 08-23-2013, 01:37 AM   #36
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I think parents should ALWAYS monitor what their impressionable children are reading. Regardless of the medium.
I would go even further and say they should monitor all media they consume. My children do not have a TV in their room, my daughter didn't have her own computer until she went to college, for the first couple of years when she had an iPod we monitored what music was on it, etc.
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Old 08-23-2013, 02:41 AM   #37
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Originally Posted by Namekuseijin View Post
OTOH, brutal, bizarre and downright disgusting sex acts even for the most open-minded are just one click away nowadays.
Well, yeah, those have always been around. They are called Piers Anthony novels.

Okay, I exaggerate slightly, but as a kid, just reading fantasy, SF, and horror I ran into a lot of X-rated stuff.
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Old 08-23-2013, 03:01 AM   #38
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I'd be much more concerned with my daughter making homemade films with her phone and posting them to sites like Vine than reading a book.
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Old 08-23-2013, 10:34 AM   #39
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Originally Posted by ucfgrad93 View Post
I would go even further and say they should monitor all media they consume. My children do not have a TV in their room, my daughter didn't have her own computer until she went to college, for the first couple of years when she had an iPod we monitored what music was on it, etc.
Up to what age would you consider it appropriate to monitor your childrens' reading? I think I would have regarded it as showing that my parents didn't trust me if they'd monitored my reading as a teenager.
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Old 08-23-2013, 10:54 AM   #40
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I like to know what my kids are reading...I like to know what they are watching...I like to know what my kids are listening to. I've bought books that have had some horrible scenes of violence, rape and child abuse that I wouldn't have thought were in those books. I would not want my kids to turn a page and read something like that if I can avoid it by simply asking them what book they want to read and look it up to see what kind of book it is.

It's not so much about trust, as it is about protecting them from what I feel is disgusting violence that no child should be reading about.

My parents never knew what I was reading, but I look at that as they just couldn't care less. I care about my kids, and I have a right to at least attempt to protect them from of the content in the books, tv and music out there until they are old enough to avoid it (or not) themselves.

I think 14-15 is a good age to let them decide on their own, depending on their level of maturity. I don't want my 13 year old picking up The Devils Punchbowl by Greg Iles (really disturbing scenes of rape and other violence against women).

If my girls bought a book about making a sex tape for profit, I think I would be calling a psychologist to help deal with that one. There's something going on there that's beyond the content in a book. That mother needs to be spending a little more time with her daughter. She obviously doesn't know much about what's going on in her kids head.
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Old 08-23-2013, 11:06 AM   #41
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Originally Posted by ucfgrad93 View Post
I would go even further and say they should monitor all media they consume. My children do not have a TV in their room, my daughter didn't have her own computer until she went to college, for the first couple of years when she had an iPod we monitored what music was on it, etc.
This!!!!
There is a difference between being a 'parent' and being a 'pal'. No matter how much it annoyed my kids, I never abrogated my obligation as a parent. The trick was in the balance of giving them enough space to explore while still monitoring what they were exposed to.... the maturity of the child will influence the amount of space but the monitoring is still required. Yes, I think it is much more difficult for parents now than it was in the past, but the degree of difficulty does not remove the responibility.
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Old 08-23-2013, 11:13 AM   #42
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Originally Posted by ucfgrad93 View Post
I would go even further and say they should monitor all media they consume. My children do not have a TV in their room, my daughter didn't have her own computer until she went to college, for the first couple of years when she had an iPod we monitored what music was on it, etc.
I honestly find that quite disturbing. Do you also read their diaries, decide who they can and cannot be friends with and so on?

Had my parents done the same I would have grown up despising them and would likely have cut all bonds permanently.
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Old 08-23-2013, 11:21 AM   #43
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I honestly find that quite disturbing. Do you also read their diaries, decide who they can and cannot be friends with and so on?
That is an excessive jump from what was stated and somewhat provocative....reading diaries and the like is an invasion of privacy (IMO), where monitoring their access to media is parenting.
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Old 08-23-2013, 11:23 AM   #44
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I would go even further and say they should monitor all media they consume. My children do not have a TV in their room, my daughter didn't have her own computer until she went to college, for the first couple of years when she had an iPod we monitored what music was on it, etc.
I wouldn't go as far as restricting them to no tv or computer access. I don't know about your kids so I can't understand why you couldn't let your kids have a tv in a room without you watching, but I have pretty good kids. They get into trouble of course but for the most part they know what I expect of them. They have tv's in their room and they have access to the computer when I'm not home, but they KNOW what channels they are allowed to watch and what websites they are allowed to visit. If they have a new website they want to check out, I am there with them to make sure it's age appropriate and then they can visit it whenever they want. I have set the parental controls on the cable box to restrict access to certain channels just in case they are flipping through and stumble across one of them. They might be able to get past it, but I trust them enough that I don't think they would. Mind you, if I caught them watching something they knew they weren't supposed to I would have no issues taking the tv right out of their rooms and sticking them in a closet until they've earned my trust back. I do the same with music that they have on their MP3 players. I know which albums are on there and I know there's nothing inappropriate.

I'm babbling today, sorry
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Old 08-23-2013, 11:31 AM   #45
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Can anyone post an actual example of something that they read when they were young that they now wish their parents had protected them from?

When I was young, I read books about sex, drugs, Nazis, guns, Jesus and lots of other horrible things that I'm sure inspired much pearl-clutching in the librarians handing me the books. My parents monitored what I read, but didn't apply the apparently unspoken corollary of taking "dangerous" material away, for which I'm grateful. I'm pretty happy with how I turned out and (as far as they'll tell me) so are my parents.

Reading a book about a sex tape isn't making a sex tape any more than reading a book about the Klan made me David Duke.
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