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Old 11-20-2012, 06:09 PM   #1
David Marseilles
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Kittenhood: Orientation ~ Must-read for kittens everywhere

Kittenhood: Orientation at Amazon
By Socks McDuff (@SocksMcDuff)



Quote:
Kittens are born into a strange and fascinating environment that can quickly become terrifying without a helping paw. Why is your primate holding a tiny superhero costume in front of you and smiling? What you should do about it? Kittenhood: Orientation should be the first book every kitty reads.

At around 27 pages in length, this tome may stretch the average kitten's attention span to the breaking point, but the treasure trove of intel it contains is worth the trouble. The vast intellectual wasteland before you is known as humanity, and your sojourn in their presence is not a punishment. You are the vanguard of the future. You are the hope of the earth. And you are not alone.

Socks McDuff, spymaster and author, lived a life of espionage before dedicating his life to training you, the next generation of covert operatives. While other cats might spend their retirement resting their harbles in a nice sunspot, Socks will not rest (more than 19 hours a day) until his task is complete.

Last edited by David Marseilles; 11-20-2012 at 08:16 PM.
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Old 11-21-2012, 07:03 AM   #2
kennyc
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Looks interesting David. And interestingly I just ran across this yesterday and thought it hilarious (poems by cats): http://www.amazon.com/Could-Pee-This...ref=pd_sim_b_6
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Old 11-21-2012, 03:52 PM   #3
David Marseilles
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Thanks Kenny. I've noticed you post regularly in the poetry thread, so I'm not surprised that ebook appeals to you. He definitely nailed the title.

[promotion deleted - MODERAT0R]

Last edited by Dr. Drib; 11-21-2012 at 04:17 PM.
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Old 12-08-2012, 05:19 PM   #4
David Marseilles
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Kittenhood is free today.

http://www.amazon.com/Kittenhood-Ori...dp/B00AA6CPZW/
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Old 12-08-2012, 06:07 PM   #5
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Seeing a price tag here, did I miss it already?
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Old 12-08-2012, 06:24 PM   #6
kennyc
The Dank Side of the Moon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Byrdie View Post
Seeing a price tag here, did I miss it already?
Showing $0 here. Colorado, usa
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Old 12-08-2012, 08:18 PM   #7
David Marseilles
Leap & a net will appear.
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I just did a quick survey of world amazon sites, it shows free everywhere I checked except Canada. I haven't the vaguest idea why. AFAIK, Amazon doesn't even let you localize promotions.
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Old 12-09-2012, 12:24 AM   #8
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Tuxedo cat #3 (too new to be in my avatar) thanks you for the freebie!
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Old 12-09-2012, 12:39 AM   #9
David Marseilles
Leap & a net will appear.
David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Awww Gotta love that new tux smell
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Old 12-27-2012, 04:23 PM   #10
David Marseilles
Leap & a net will appear.
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Kittenhood is free again today:

http://www.amazon.com/Kittenhood-Ori...dp/B00AA6CPZW/
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Old 12-27-2012, 07:46 PM   #11
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Having been (willingly) owned by cats all my life, I eagerly opened this tome to learn the secrets hidden from me all these years .... and found my head nodding as I turned the pages ....

[I MUST hide this from my cats .... they can't know that I have learned about their deepest secrets]

Well done!
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Old 12-27-2012, 10:27 PM   #12
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Oh my goodness this was one of the funniest things I've read in a long time!

Sheamus, our newest, sends his thanks for the vital information. I now tremble in fear of what he has learned.
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Old 12-28-2012, 12:13 AM   #13
David Marseilles
Leap & a net will appear.
David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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I've been both a willing and unwilling ward of kitties, and I've decided it's better to just embrace it. Resistance is futile.

Thank you both (and Sheamus too!) for the kind words.
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Old 02-13-2013, 09:36 AM   #14
David Marseilles
Leap & a net will appear.
David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.David Marseilles ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Kittenhood is free today:

http://www.amazon.com/Kittenhood-Ori.../dp/B00AA6CPZW
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Old 02-26-2013, 12:23 PM   #15
David Marseilles
Leap & a net will appear.
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Kittenhood is free today:

http://www.amazon.com/Kittenhood-Ori.../dp/B00AA6CPZW

Quote:
Originally Posted by excerpt
The life of a kitten hangs on a precipice between the heights of catness, with all the imperial power that implies, and your bottomless desire for snuggles. In time you'll understand there's no true conflict between the two. Your subjects owe you snuggles and you owe them nothing in return. Until your emotions mature sufficiently to support the enormous ego you will one day carry, your knowledge of this truth may stand in conflict with your feelings. This is a just stage of your existence and is nothing to be too ashamed of, but you must take care not to let it interfere with your ultimate lot in life.
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