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Old 06-03-2011, 04:54 PM   #1
anamardoll
Chasing Butterflies
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Wink The Dead Horse Thread

1. EBOOKS ARE KILLING PHYSICAL BOOKS AND PHYSICAL BOOKSTORES AND THIS WILL USHER IN 1984-LEVEL MIND CONTROL. AND EVERYONE WILL BE ILLITERATE.

2. IF EVEN ONE PERSON PIRATES AN EBOOK, THEN ALL AUTHORS WILL STOP WRITING AND HUMAN CULTURAL ACHIEVEMENT WILL STALL FOREVER.

3. THE MERE EXISTENCE OF INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY RIGHTS IS PREVENTING THE HUMAN RACE FROM REACHING A CULTURAL NIRVANA OF LITERACY.

4. EINK READERS / LCD TABLETS / TOUCH SCREENS / DEVICE BUTTONS ARE THE DEATH OF ALL THAT IS GOOD. THEY WILL BE INEVITABLY REPLACED SOON.

5. FINGERPRINTS ON A <INSERT SCREEN TYPE HERE> DEVICE ARE FIGMENTS OF A DERANGED IMAGINATION AND YOU SHOULD GET THAT CHECKED OUT BY A CERTIFIED PSYCHIATRIST.

6. FANS OF <INSERT BRAND HERE> ARE ALL MINDLESS AUTOMATON FANBOIS, BUT USERS OF <INSERT BRAND HERE> ARE WELL-INFORMED SAVVY CONSUMERS.

I think this covers them all.

Sorry about the caps, but CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.

Please feel free to fill in the ones I've missed.
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Old 06-03-2011, 04:58 PM   #2
jgaiser
Omnivorous
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Think you pretty much covered it...
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Old 06-03-2011, 05:07 PM   #3
weatherwax
Guru
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Excellent summary.
I am just missing [insert ebook format here] will eventually be the only format left.
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Old 06-03-2011, 05:10 PM   #4
odiakkoh
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The definition of "classic" seems to be a dead horse topic but I can't think of anything clever :P
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Old 06-03-2011, 05:14 PM   #5
JSWolf
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7. DRM IS EVIL AND NEEDS TO GO AWAY.

8. AMAZON IS EVIL AND NEEDS TO GO AWAY.
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Old 06-03-2011, 05:18 PM   #6
DiapDealer
Grand Sorcerer
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There's probably a few missing, but it's definitely a hell of a good start.
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Old 06-03-2011, 05:19 PM   #7
DiapDealer
Grand Sorcerer
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Quote:
7. DRM IS EVIL AND NEEDS TO GO AWAY.
Don't forget the occasional; DRM IS WORKING JUST FINE, LETS SEE YOU COME UP WITH SOMETHING BETTER.
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Old 06-03-2011, 05:26 PM   #8
Hellmark
Wizard
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Don't forget the arguments of giggleton

9. COPYRIGHT IS EVIL AND NEEDS TO GO AWAY.

10. EVERYTHING WRITTEN NEEDS TO BE FREE.
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Old 06-03-2011, 05:33 PM   #9
anamardoll
Chasing Butterflies
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Hellmark, I would never forget! He's #3.

I can think of another, but it only works in conjunction with its alternate:

Amz1: IF YOU BUY A KINDLE, YOU CAN NEVER BUY FROM ANY EBOOK SUPPLIER BUT AMAZON.

Amz2: IF YOU BUY A KINDLE, YOU CAN BUY FROM ANY EBOOK SUPPLIER YOU WANT.*

*note that it isn't mentioned that you will have to learn to love cabbages.

---

Also:

Amz3: THE AMAZON EBOOK CATALOG IS BIGGER THAN EVERY OTHER EBOOK CATALOG IN THE WORLD COMBINED AND THEN MULTIPLIED BY FORTY-TWO.
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Old 06-03-2011, 05:34 PM   #10
apbschmitz
Lord of Frogtown
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Uh-oh, there's nothing left to talk about.
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Old 06-03-2011, 05:36 PM   #11
DiapDealer
Grand Sorcerer
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Quote:
Uh-oh, there's nothing left to talk about.
Ebook pricing, is still left.
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Old 06-03-2011, 05:41 PM   #12
anamardoll
Chasing Butterflies
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Originally Posted by DiapDealer View Post
Ebook pricing, is still left.
I can't believe I forgot that one.
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Old 06-03-2011, 05:45 PM   #13
outlander78
Zealot
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How about everyone will self-publish, and editors will no longer be required?
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Old 06-03-2011, 05:45 PM   #14
AlbertaCowboy
Proud Daddy!
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COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT EQUALS THEFT. See also
COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT IS NOT THEFT. (IT's INFRINGEMENT)
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Old 06-03-2011, 05:46 PM   #15
CWatkinsNash
IOC Chief Archivist
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Originally Posted by anamardoll View Post
I can't believe I forgot that one.
Yeah, my favorite is EBOOKS COST, LIKE, NOTHING TO MAKE SO THEY SHOULD BE FREE!!
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