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Old 03-28-2011, 05:43 PM   #1
mr ploppy
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Does anyone know anything about dancing?

What do you call it when you bend your knees and sort of crouch down while you're dancing and then go back up? (ie "return from a crouch")

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The music took her back to her youth, her mind drowning out all other sensations completely as she wallowed in it. For three minutes she was fifteen again, back at the youth club, dancing with Joe, all his mates’ envious eyes on her. The same song playing then, just as it is now, except now there is nobody to shimmy her breasts against, nobody to push her hips into on her return from a crouch.
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Old 03-29-2011, 11:58 AM   #2
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Let me start by saying: I don't know.

What you're talking about is called a bump and grind, but I don't know the lingo of the individual moves.

"...nobody to grind her hips against." Does there need to be anything beyond the word "against"?
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Old 03-29-2011, 12:34 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by queentess View Post
Let me start by saying: I don't know.

What you're talking about is called a bump and grind, but I don't know the lingo of the individual moves.

"...nobody to grind her hips against." Does there need to be anything beyond the word "against"?
That's how it will need to end if I can't find out a proper name for it. Is shimmy the right word for the other bit? I only really knew how to slamdance, and not many girls did that for some reason.
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Old 04-05-2011, 10:14 PM   #4
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Sorry, don't know the word, but you could say "nobody to grind her hips into as she moved up and down." I'm having trouble with your tenses in this last sentence. Take out some of your clauses and look at it:

The music took her back to her youth. For three minutes she was fifteen again. The same song playing then, just as it is now [was playing then as now?], except now there is [was?]nobody to shimmy her breasts against, nobody to push her hips into on her return from a crouch.

Also, mates is a word that makes you pause in the middle of the sentence, which is fine if there's a reason. (Though maybe mates is used more commonly in England than it is in the U.S.) Otherwise, maybe use classmates or friends, or just delete that clause. Maybe drop "completely" from the first sentence.

Wait, what was your question again?

Last edited by Nada y Nadie; 04-05-2011 at 10:52 PM.
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Old 04-06-2011, 05:32 AM   #5
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Not sure what you mean about mates making you pause, but it's probably a cultural difference thing. It's an informal word for "freind" rather than "lover". But also used with strangers quite often too as something to call them when you don't know their name.

Drifting tense is a fair point though. The lack of a dancing partner might work better as internal monologue.
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Old 04-06-2011, 06:29 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mr ploppy View Post
What do you call it when you bend your knees and sort of crouch down while you're dancing and then go back up? (ie "return from a crouch")
Isn't it called a "dip"?
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Old 04-06-2011, 07:51 AM   #7
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Isn't it called a "dip"?
.
I don't really know, but logically the dip would be when you go down? So it would be "return from a dip", but that would sound even more clumsy than the original because it also rhymes with "hip".
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Old 04-06-2011, 08:03 AM   #8
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I like the way you said it originally. My mind's eye sees it happening, slowly and sensually, connecting in a way that isolates the couple in their own world, oblivious of the gyrating crowd on the dance floor.

Is it getting hot in here?

EDIT: Switch shimmy for "brush"

EDIT: End with " ... No one to push her hips into."

Last edited by DixieGal; 04-06-2011 at 08:07 AM.
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Old 04-06-2011, 08:08 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mr ploppy View Post
I don't really know, but logically the dip would be when you go down? So it would be "return from a dip", but that would sound even more clumsy than the original because it also rhymes with "hip".
I'm not convinced there is a single word for returning from a dip (and I'm not convinced dip is the right word either, as this often involves the dance partner holding on and half-lowering you to the floor).

As already said, does she really need to be returning from anything? It makes sense just to say "nobody to push her hips into".
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Old 04-06-2011, 12:58 PM   #10
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As already said, does she really need to be returning from anything? It makes sense just to say "nobody to push her hips into".
Yeah, that's basically where I left it off. I was just trying to put into words what was in my mind, but there's no real reason why anyone reading it would need to imagine the same moves.

And there would always be the danger that someone who knows more about that sort of dancing than me would see it the same way that I see people having long drawn out conversations while riding a motorcycle at high speed.
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Old 04-11-2011, 04:08 AM   #11
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- no one to lean on

- no one to lean against

- no one to sway with

- no one to partner with

Not dip - which is when your partner lowers you backwards and down - although you certainly need a partner in order to be dipped

Not shimmy - which is more of a bellydance movement - usually accomplish by shifting your weight from foot to foot
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Old 04-11-2011, 05:53 AM   #12
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I'll give this a try.

Her world narrowed to the sound of the music and for three glorious minutes she was fifteen again, back at the youth club dancing with Joe, while his mates’ envious eyes followed her. The same song playing then as now, except now there is nobody. Nobody to share that excitement of grinding hips or the tease of tightly pressed breasts rubbing back and forth, as they she moved to the beat of the music.

EDIT: oops Faulty Pronoun Reference (they) corrected

Last edited by dreams; 04-11-2011 at 03:25 PM.
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