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Old 02-17-2011, 06:40 PM   #1
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Awesome thing to do/say to a telemarketer

Hey all, why don't we share a few awesome lines to say to the telemarketers that call at the worst possible time while your eating dinner or make you miss part of the movie, and for what? to see if your happy with your bank, take part in worthless surveys that waste your time.

So lets devote this thread to them. Come on don't be polite fight them off!!!! Interrupt them and try to sell them something useless, waste their time!
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Old 02-17-2011, 06:43 PM   #2
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One of the good ones is once you know it's telemarketer quietly whimper into your phone, don't say anything just whimper, the responses you get are great
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Old 02-17-2011, 07:11 PM   #3
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A friend of mine used to start asking what the telemarketer was wearing ... then asked the color of their underwear, etc.... The funny part was that the caller would actually answer him!
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Old 02-17-2011, 07:29 PM   #4
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If they call for the store I usually tell them I'm the cleaner and everyone else is out, even if they can clearly hear there are customers being helped in the store.

If they don't call for the store I usually tell them I don't have the time and that they can't call back since there isn't a "more convenient" time.

In the Netherlands you have a "don't-call-me" register if you register your phone number the telemarketers aren't allowed to call you. Also, if you haven't registered, by law they have to inform you up front that you can be taken off their list (although they never do). Since I've registered all our phone number we only get calls for the store, even though I registered those too, mostly wanting you to switch either to their ISP or phone provider.
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Old 02-17-2011, 07:46 PM   #5
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"I don't accept phone solicitations" and then hang up. Seriously, if you try and play games with them, you are only HELPING them. I used to work in telemarketing in university, and our success rate was calculated using a statistic called conversion rate, which was the ratio of people talked to versus how many buy. If you talk to less people, the number is higher and it ups your stats. Now, granted, if you have a ton of really long calls and no sales that can be a problem, but it you are bored (which is likely!) and want a good story to tell in the break room, you totally dig the occasional caller who plays games. All you are doing is HELPING the telemarketer!
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Old 02-17-2011, 08:05 PM   #6
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Here's the worst thing I ever did when a fast talking telemarketer called selling aluminum siding for the home. He began with a spiel that lasted about a minute, during which I couldn't get a word in edgewise. Then he finally took a break to ask me, not if I was interested, but, "Are you the homeowner?"

I replied, "No, but he's out in the side yard right now, and if you hold on a minute, I'll get him to the phone."

I then set the phone down without hanging it up and returned to the TV show I was watching.

I checked on the phone 30 minutes later, and he was still standing by. When I checked 30 minutes after that, he'd finally given up and hung up.
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Old 02-17-2011, 08:28 PM   #7
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I must sound quite young on the phone because I have had "is your mum or dad home" more than once.

Recently I decided to play along and when asked if mummy or daddy could come to the phone I responded that they had left me home alone and I wasn't sure when they were coming back. They then asked who was looking after me and I explained that they hadn't organised anyone to look after me but would probably visit in about a week or so and that I hoped they would bring food. I then hung up. They didn't call back so I assume they worked out I was an adult
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Old 02-17-2011, 09:07 PM   #8
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I don't answer the phone. Caller ID is worth the $7 per month in reduced stress.
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Old 02-17-2011, 09:28 PM   #9
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DO NOT CALL LIST!!!! HUZZAH!!!!


but back in the day, handing the phone over to a child was always fun ;o)
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Old 02-17-2011, 09:36 PM   #10
FizzyWater
You kids get off my lawn!
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The do not call list hasn't stopped a number of people from calling me...I've been registered for years (and recently doublechecked that I was still listed). Most don't leave messages, so I don't bother to follow up to get them in trouble...but once that was highly persistent a few months ago was trying to sell me a cemetary plot (I just turned 50 - jeez!)
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Old 02-17-2011, 09:48 PM   #11
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Ultimate telemarketer's revenge....






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Old 02-18-2011, 02:36 AM   #12
beppe
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I have few standard answers depending on what is they market.

Insurance: "Too bad for you, kind lady/sir, i have to buy these things from my brother in law"

Phone services: " I am sorry I have the pasta on the stove and the baby is crying"
"It's my wife you want to talk to ..."

Wine: " I'd love to, but I just started my program with AA"

They are trying to earn a living. It is boring. Pays little. Than I think that what you do to others it comes back to you, eventually. So ...
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Old 02-18-2011, 02:38 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stitchawl View Post
Ultimate telemarketer's revenge....

Stitchawl
Great. This is really entertaining.

Last edited by beppe; 02-18-2011 at 02:43 AM.
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Old 02-18-2011, 03:45 AM   #14
James_Wilde
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@Stitchawl - that police video was fantastic!
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Old 02-18-2011, 04:53 AM   #15
HarryT
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In the UK there's a central register called the "Telephone Preference Service" that you can register with. It is a criminal offence for any telemarketer to call a number registered with the TPS.

Those (rare) ones that think they are above the law, I say "Would you excuse me for a moment, there's someone at the door", put the phone down, and have fun seeing how long they hang on for.
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