01-07-2013, 09:31 AM | #35266 | |
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In Thailand, marriage isn't about love. It's about survival of the extended family. And the Thais are the smilingest people you'll ever meet! In the US, many marriages aren't about love. They are about money and prestige. And even then they aren't happy. Only satisfied. Stitchawl Last edited by Stitchawl; 01-07-2013 at 09:33 AM. |
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01-07-2013, 09:35 AM | #35267 | |
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In seriousness, I thought that divorces were frowned upon and difficult to get in Japan. Do they still do the "promised since birth" type arrangements? |
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01-07-2013, 09:59 AM | #35268 | |
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But that could be a small sub-set of the population I am reading about. Another reason why I am thankful to be an American in the middle class. I am fortunate to be able to decide if I want to work or not. There are different pressures but I have choices that other people across the globe do not. |
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01-07-2013, 10:08 AM | #35269 | |
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So what happens in the case of gay men? Or is that not allowed... |
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01-07-2013, 10:37 AM | #35270 |
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01-07-2013, 12:47 PM | #35271 |
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Hey Shel!! Good to see you back. Glad both of your schoolings went well. And that is a great baby pic!! What a cutey!
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01-07-2013, 02:09 PM | #35272 |
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01-07-2013, 07:29 PM | #35273 | ||||||||
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Out of the 5,000 perhaps there were a dozen who wanted careers. The rest wanted to work for a specific company as OL's (Office Ladies) until they married before their 25th birthday. How they chose the specific company? It depended upon who designed that company's uniform. Some preferred Donna Karan, Ralph Lauren, or Calvin Klein. How's THAT for a way to choose which job you seek! Quote:
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My wife and I have been married for 18 years. It works for us. I arrived in Japan at age 40. In order to find women my age I placed an ad in an English language magazine looking to meet women between the ages of 30-50 who were well educated, liked to travel, liked international foods, would go 'adventuring' without worry, etc., etc., etc. I received over 150 responses. (That group had a higher level of career women. Actually, it's how I met my doctor. We had coffee but realized immediately that there was no attraction and parted friends.) I met (at least once) each of them for coffee or such, often 2-3 a day. That cut the list down to about 10 that I wanted to meet again (and who wanted to meet ME again.) I dated those 2-3 times which cut the list down to one. By the third date I knew I was going to marry her. And I wasn't doing this to get married. I had been a bachelor for 17 years at that point. NO intention of getting married again. But by the third date I knew I would. A year later we did get married. And as I said, that was 18 years ago. Quote:
It's only in the last 10 years or so that one could get their ears pierced for ear rings anywhere other than in a doctor's office. Or that tattoo shops stopped being illegal. Or that women could easily get birth control pills. 15 years ago abortion was the number one birth control method. Japan is a very strange culture. It's changing quickly, but it's still very, very strange. Stitchawl Last edited by Stitchawl; 01-07-2013 at 07:32 PM. |
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01-07-2013, 07:46 PM | #35274 |
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Thank you Stitchawl! This information has been absolutely fascinating!
Do you have any suggested reading material about overall and current Japanese culture? The media specialist at my eldest son's school took an official education-based trip to Japan some years ago. The Japanese wanted to know how American students were "okay" with failure (isn't that an awful compliment ), and invited a group of American teachers over to exchange ideas. She brought back many slides and a few souvenirs which she presents to the kids here. One of the things that I actually loved learning, was how ALL of the students were responsible for their school. They helped keep it clean, they helped with lunch, etc. I think that is a fantastic way to teach responsibility, especially away from home. I also like how there was one main backpack, sold for ALL of the children, with a removable flap (or something to that nature) in a color based on grade level. |
01-07-2013, 10:35 PM | #35275 | |||||
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The Lonely Planet Guides 'tend' to be a bit more accurate, but even in the newest one for Japan I saw some glaring misconceptions. It's not 'permitted' in Japanese society to even suggest a better way of doing something to your superior... unless you've been drinking. This is the primary REASON why almost all men 'must' go drinking every night after work with their work group. The bonding is vital, but only after a few drinks can any meaningful things be expressed without offending. Otherwise, all talking is just 'tatemae.' Hone and tatemae are keystones to understanding Japanese culture. Without understanding them, there isn't a chance in hell of understanding Japan. Quote:
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The visitors are shown classes of elementary school kids learning math and science that the US schools don't teach until high school. What they DON'T see is that these same students have absolutely no knowledge of the world outside of Japan. They don't get classes in World History, only Japanese history... and ONLY as the Education board had declared 'accurate' rather than what may or may not have actually happened. Anything else learned comes from western movies or TV. In a game of 'Trivial Pursuit,' a western 12 year old will trounce all over a Japanese high school senior and most college students. Quote:
As for learning the culture... Last edited by Stitchawl; 01-07-2013 at 10:38 PM. |
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01-08-2013, 06:00 AM | #35276 |
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Thanks Stitchy. Fascinating stuff. I had experience if the nomikai when I was over there, where we visited the karaoke bars after work, and all got pretty drunk. There was a marked difference to day time behaviours as their inner honne was let loose. The guy who had brought me out on contract, a Brit and their boss, was something of an assh*le, and it was only during one of these sessions that it became clear that they felt the same way about him as I did.
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01-08-2013, 07:20 AM | #35277 |
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There is a book by Jake Adelstein titled Tokyo Vice: An American Reporter on the Police Beat in Japan that is pretty shocking. It delves into the crime mobs, the control that they have, how reporting in Japan is done, and the sex trade industry. It is an eye opener.
While I have not lived there, a Sociology class I took in college was pretty eye opening. We discussed how even the "rebel" culture for teens is pretty regulated and controlled. I have never trusted the test scores that say country X is ahead of the US in Math and Science because I know how the testing is done in many other countries (hint, not everyone is tested) and more importantly, how the students are prepped in those specific fields with other classes ignored. It is a society that is so pent up sooner or later it is going to blow. |
01-08-2013, 08:03 AM | #35278 | ||||
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The dress codes were modified at the schools so that young people could adapt more western styles. This led to 'Punk' culture and piercing to the point where some kids looked as if they had been hit in the face with a Stirling sliver hand grenade. 20-30 different things stuck through their faces alone. God only knows what else they were wearing. And it was OK in the schools. In Japan, organized crime is legal... as long as it's not hidden. The Yakuza (Japanese Mafia?) have offices with the gang names on professional signs over the doors. The members are all listed. Japan is a very different place. Quote:
The majority of university students that I taught (and they ALL had at least 6 years of prior English, plus passing the English entrance exam for the University) could NOT reply to 'Where did you eat dinner Sunday night?' and many could not respond to 'Where do you live?' Remember, this is after 6 years of prior classes... In the US, we had to read Classics in the language we were studying in the 3rd year; Don Quixote for the Spanish classes and a variety of different books for the French students. Quote:
Stitchawl |
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01-08-2013, 08:15 AM | #35279 |
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The Adelstein book is very well done. He doesn't pull many punches
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01-08-2013, 08:15 AM | #35280 | |
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And 'superior' doesn't just mean your boss. It means anyone who was hired before you too. Seniority plays into everything here, even in college social clubs. I had a student who told me that she joined the university Ski Club, and that they were going skiing that weekend. I said 'I'm sure you will love the skiing as there was a good snowfall during the week.' She said "Oh, I won't be allowed to ski. I'm just a Freshman so all I do this year is carry the skis and boots for one of the elder club members. Then next year I will be allowed to put on boots and practice walking around in them. In my Junior year I will be given basic lessons by one of the seniors and permitted to practice on the Bunny slope. Then in my Senior year, I will teach a Junior the basic lessons, then take more advance lessons from the ski intsructors at the ski area." Japan is a very different place... Stitchawl |
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