Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 405

Fbone · 02-12-2013, 11:05 PM

I tried water polo but my horse drowned.

red_phoenix · 02-13-2013, 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pookeysgirl

A golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him

'Arrgh! What happened?' the Leprechaun asked.

'I'm afraid I hit you with my golf ball,' the golfer says.

'Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?'

'Thank God, you're all right!' the golfer answers in relief. 'I don't want anything,

I'm just glad you're OK, and I apologize.' And the golfer walks off.

'What a nice guy,' the Leprechaun says to himself. I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things I would want. A `great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life.'

A year goes by and the golfer is back. On the same hole, he surprisingly hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.

'Twas me that made ye hit the ball here, 'the little guy says. 'I just want to ask ye, how's yer golf game?'

'My game is fantastic!' the golfer answers. I'm an internationally famous golfer now.' He adds, 'By the way, it's good to see you're all right.'

'Oh, I'm fine now, thank ye. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how's yer money situation?'

'Why, it's just wonderful!' the golfer states. 'When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out 100 euro notes I didn't even know were there!'

'I did that fer ye also.' And tell me, how's yer sex life?'

The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, 'It's OK.'

C'mon, c'mon now,' urged the Leprechaun, 'I'm wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?'

Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers, 'Once, sometimes twice a week.'

'What??' responds the Leprechaun in shock. 'That's all? Only once or twice a week?'

'Well,' says the golfer, 'I figure that's not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish.’

Fbone · 02-13-2013, 11:39 AM

I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

badgoodDeb · 02-13-2013, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

Very nice!! I remember him .... (well, the name)....

Bookpossum · 02-13-2013, 10:20 PM

Today's Short Reading from the Bible... from Genesis:

"And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth".

Then he made the earth round... and he laughed and laughed and laughed...

maianhvk · 02-14-2013, 07:23 AM

So I’ve decided that my Wi-Fi will be my valentine. Idk, we just have this connection.

orlok · 02-14-2013, 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maianhvk

So I’ve decided that my Wi-Fi will be my valentine. Idk, we just have this connection.

*Groan*

GeoffC · 02-14-2013, 10:03 AM

I've noticed a few £500.00+ USB Flash drives on Amazon.co.uk this afternoon, but even this one is a joke !?

pilotbob · 02-14-2013, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maianhvk

So I’ve decided that my Wi-Fi will be my valentine. Idk, we just have this connection.

I hope your connection is protected... wouldn't want to get a virus!

badgoodDeb · 02-14-2013, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeoffC

I've noticed a few £500.00+ USB Flash drives on Amazon.co.uk this afternoon, but even this one is a joke !?

Looks kinda cute! But yeah, that price tag is a joke. It *is* actually listed as available in the US, for $50 for the 64G one.

Fbone · 02-14-2013, 02:49 PM

"My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!"

WT Sharpe · 02-15-2013, 02:08 AM

Love is like a game of cards.

You start off with two hearts and a diamond.

You end up wishing for a club and a spade.

Stitchawl · 02-15-2013, 02:24 AM

Can you believe it?
This guy wins $181 million in the lottery and then finds the
love of his life just 2 days later.

*Talk about LUCK!!! wow!*

Stitchawl

Freeshadow · 02-15-2013, 03:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

Love is like a game of cards.

Bridge eh?

If you don't have a good partner you need a good hand.

Pookeysgirl · 02-15-2013, 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

Love is like a game of cards.

You start off with two hearts and a diamond.

You end up wishing for a club and a spade.

02-15-2013, 02:08 AM	#6072
WT Sharpe Bah, humbug! Posts: 39,073 Karma: 157049943 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindle Oasis, iPad Pro, & a Samsung Galaxy S9.	Love is like a game of cards. You start off with two hearts and a diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade. Last edited by WT Sharpe; 02-15-2013 at 09:37 AM.

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02-12-2013, 11:05 PM	#6061
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I tried water polo but my horse drowned.

02-13-2013, 11:39 AM	#6063
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

02-13-2013, 10:20 PM	#6065
Bookpossum Snoozing in the sun Posts: 10,137 Karma: 115423645 Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Melbourne, Australia Device: iPad Mini, Kobo Touch	Today's Short Reading from the Bible... from Genesis: "And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth". Then he made the earth round... and he laughed and laughed and laughed...

02-14-2013, 07:23 AM	#6066
maianhvk whimsical Posts: 2,779 Karma: 88193939 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: in darkness Device: current: PPW 4. brick: K3 & Voyage.	So I’ve decided that my Wi-Fi will be my valentine. Idk, we just have this connection.

02-14-2013, 10:03 AM	#6068
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,600 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	I've noticed a few £500.00+ USB Flash drives on Amazon.co.uk this afternoon, but even this one is a joke !?

02-14-2013, 02:49 PM	#6071
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	"My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!"

02-15-2013, 02:24 AM	#6073
Stitchawl Opsimath Posts: 12,344 Karma: 187123287 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy	Can you believe it? This guy wins $181 million in the lottery and then finds the love of his life just 2 days later. Talk about LUCK!!! wow! Stitchawl