blurb comments, please?

[gmw]

Originally Posted by BeccaPrice

well, in about 6 weeks, you could pay me to write blurbs for you... I'm taking the DWS class in writing blurbs. I'm pretty happy with the Dragons and Dreams blurb, and moderately happy with the one for Bridge of Seven Stones. I think the reason I can't write a good blurb for Heart of Rock yet is that, while I basically know the ending, it hasn't jelled yet. I was hoping writing a blurb for it might help with that, but it hasn't.

So I'll know where to turn for advice - before too long (I hope) I'll have two books needing blurbs. And I know about trouble with endings. I'm trying to pull together the conclusion to my series. Like you, I know the ending, but actually getting it out on paper is proving very difficult. Just when the pace should be increasing it seems to be slowing down ... or maybe it just feels slow because it's coming out so slowly ... or maybe it's the pressure of wanting it to feel like it was worth all the rest to get to this point. All I know for certain is that it's not coming easy.

[BeccaPrice]

I only need about 500 words to finish things off, but those 500 words are like pulling 500 teeth.

[Gregg Bell]

A slight modification:

One amulet. Two kingdoms in crisis. Two heroes. Only one will survive.

[BeccaPrice]

very good, except the end result is that the two kingdoms find a way that *both* can survive. Other than that, I like it.

[BeccaPrice]

for a fairy tale, Heart of Rock:

Once upon a time, in the distant past, the wizards carved grotesque gargoyles, and embued them with life with the talisman, the Heart of Rock. And once upon a less distant time, a brave cobbler sought the Heart of Rock to save his kingdom from invaders. But, without the Heart of Rock, the Gargoyles cannot survive.

One amulet. Two kingdoms in crisis. Two heroes. Can only one prevail?


for a rather silly story about combing hair:

The Snarls. They live on pillows and in the wind, just waiting to move into long, fine, or curly hair. And when they move in, they make nests, and more Snarls, and more nests. But we also have their natural enemies: a comb, a brush, and the dreaded Detangler spray!

[ApK]

"Can only one prevail" kind of gives away the answer by alerting folks that there even is the question.
What about "Who will survive?"

[BeccaPrice]

That works. I'm not sure about the whole Heart of Rock blurb, though - it makes it sound more exciting than I think is warranted by the book - I don't want people expecting High Adventure, and getting a gentle little fairy tale.

What about this for the Heart of Rock blurb?

Once upon a time, wizards carved hideous gargoyles and brought them to life to drive away their enemies. Years pass and the time comes when a brave cobbler must seek out the Heart of Rock to save his kingdom, but by doing so he puts the gargoyle kingdom into crisis, for the gargoyles cannot live without their talisman.

Heart of Rock is three interconnected short stories that look at the question: when one questing hero finds a magical amulet, what happens to those who've lost it?