Register Guidelines E-Books Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Go Back   MobileRead Forums > E-Book General > Writers' Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 07-20-2009, 09:17 AM   #1
Stitchawl
Opsimath
Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
Stitchawl's Avatar
 
Posts: 12,344
Karma: 187123287
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand
Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy
Is this the place?

I wrote a very short (about three paragraphs) short story about which I'd like to get some feedback. Is this the place to put it up? I think it's pretty good, but I'm probably a bit biased.

Stitchawl
Stitchawl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-20-2009, 09:18 AM   #2
zelda_pinwheel
zeldinha zippy zeldissima
zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
zelda_pinwheel's Avatar
 
Posts: 27,827
Karma: 921169
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Paris, France
Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?
this is definitely the place, yes. please do post it !
zelda_pinwheel is offline   Reply With Quote
Advert
Old 07-20-2009, 09:59 AM   #3
Stitchawl
Opsimath
Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
Stitchawl's Avatar
 
Posts: 12,344
Karma: 187123287
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand
Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy
OK... a bit of background. I was sitting, listening to some old Dixieland Jazz, thinking about New Orleans before the flood. I like that town then. Sad that it will never be the same.
----------------------

MARDI GRAS

After turning the corner, the marchers, costumes glittering in the nighttime neon daylight, continued down Bourbon St. She came out of Chez Louis just then. I don't remember quite how we came to be talking but before long we were making the rounds of the late night clubs together. She had never been here before, she said, but this was the time and just the right place to put herself in the hands of a new adventure. After all, what else is Mardi Gras all about?

Sounds of muted horns and tinny banjos floated on the air as we strolled through the French quarter, eating prawns from a curbside vendor, and sharing an spearmint ice snow cone, some of the juice running into her hair, making it sticky.

We went into Pappa's Place and then to Francine's. Music and whiskey, people and laughter. From Francine's, we walked down by the quays. The smell of the water mixed with the sounds of night. Lights from the boats in the harbor reflected off the curls of her hair.

We said our good-byes there. Knowing that we'd never see each other again, we made those promises that everyone always makes at times like that. Some day she would return to New Orleans, or I'd get up to Tucson. Someday.

I woke up then. In my doorway in the little ally across from Chez Louis. I always sleep there. Sometimes the janitor from the building gives me money for another bottle. Sometimes he doesn't.
-----------------------

Stitchawl
Stitchawl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-20-2009, 10:48 AM   #4
dadioflex
Dyslexic Count
dadioflex ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.dadioflex ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.dadioflex ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.dadioflex ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.dadioflex ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.dadioflex ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.dadioflex ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.dadioflex ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.dadioflex ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.dadioflex ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.dadioflex ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
dadioflex's Avatar
 
Posts: 526
Karma: 5041991
Join Date: Aug 2008
Device: Palm TX, Advent Vega, iPad, iPod Touch, Kindle
Edit.

Last edited by dadioflex; 12-16-2010 at 03:37 AM.
dadioflex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-20-2009, 10:50 AM   #5
zelda_pinwheel
zeldinha zippy zeldissima
zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
zelda_pinwheel's Avatar
 
Posts: 27,827
Karma: 921169
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Paris, France
Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?
wow, that was great, stitchawl. thank you so much for sharing it ! i hope to read more of your writing soon.
zelda_pinwheel is offline   Reply With Quote
Advert
Old 07-20-2009, 02:34 PM   #6
Peverel
Still Easily Confused
Peverel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Peverel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Peverel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Peverel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Peverel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Peverel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Peverel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Peverel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Peverel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Peverel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Peverel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
Peverel's Avatar
 
Posts: 889
Karma: 505319
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Hampshire/Berkshire/Surrey - yes I am that big
Device: Kindle
Oh I like that - thanks for posting it
Peverel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-21-2009, 10:21 AM   #7
Stitchawl
Opsimath
Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
Stitchawl's Avatar
 
Posts: 12,344
Karma: 187123287
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand
Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy
Thanks for your kind words. The story just sort of flowed out of my fingers. I don't think I really had much to do with it...

Stitchawl
Stitchawl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-21-2009, 02:10 PM   #8
dreams
It's about the umbrella
dreams ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.dreams ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.dreams ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.dreams ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.dreams ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.dreams ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.dreams ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.dreams ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.dreams ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.dreams ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.dreams ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
dreams's Avatar
 
Posts: 25,112
Karma: 56250158
Join Date: Jan 2009
Device: Sony 505| K Fire | KK 3G+Wi-Fi | iPhone 3Gs |Vista 32-bit Hm Prem w/FF
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stitchawl View Post

I woke up then. In my doorway in the little ally across from Chez Louis. I always sleep there. Sometimes the janitor from the building gives me money for another bottle. Sometimes he doesn't.
-----------------------

Stitchawl
Dreams are sometimes better than our reality.

I especially liked the ending as it was unexpected. Very nice, Stitchawl.
dreams is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-21-2009, 02:16 PM   #9
DixieGal
Hi There!
DixieGal ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DixieGal ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DixieGal ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DixieGal ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DixieGal ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DixieGal ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DixieGal ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DixieGal ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DixieGal ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DixieGal ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.DixieGal ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
DixieGal's Avatar
 
Posts: 7,473
Karma: 2930523
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Ft Lauderdale
Device: iPad
Wow! Those few sentences contain as much emotion as a poem.

Now you must develop it further and tell us how he got there, where his memory or dream of her came from, who was she, what happens next....
DixieGal is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
is this the place? paul7 Introduce Yourself 8 07-23-2010 03:00 AM
Hello-I really like what you've done with the place mreclass Introduce Yourself 13 07-20-2010 01:19 AM
This place does really exist... :) wumpi Lounge 11 05-22-2010 04:19 AM
New to this place Karma Garcia Introduce Yourself 5 01-05-2010 03:52 PM
Unutterably Silly Place you want to go to the most? Mobile Mason Lounge 135 12-04-2009 09:43 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:46 PM.


MobileRead.com is a privately owned, operated and funded community.