04-22-2013, 05:02 PM | #6421 |
Is that a sandwich?
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You're right. Bananas are funnier.
Last edited by Fbone; 04-22-2013 at 05:11 PM. Reason: previous pic copyrighted |
04-22-2013, 06:01 PM | #6422 | |
Close to the Edit!
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Quote:
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04-22-2013, 06:18 PM | #6423 |
Grand Sorcerer
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04-23-2013, 02:50 AM | #6424 |
Treachery of images ...
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A Must read for Grandparents.
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old players aside and asked, 'Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?' The little boy nodded in the affirmative. 'Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?' The little boy nodded 'yes'. 'So,' the coach continued, 'I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head, dickhead or asshole. Do you understand all that? ' The little boy nodded 'yes' again. He continued, 'And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play too, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach "a dumb ass or shithead" is it?' The little boy shook his head 'NO'. 'GOOD', said the coach . . . 'Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother!' |
04-23-2013, 02:53 AM | #6425 |
Treachery of images ...
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DRUGS IN SPORT
The PM has announced that Lawn bowls is a hotbed of drug use, with sports scientists using all sorts of concoctions to keep players alive for their next game. Most of these drugs are being manufactured in highly sophisticated and advanced drug labs in Switzerland, USA and Germany. There is also evidence of widespread corruption, with meat raffle prizes, free beer and free rinse and perms being offered to bribe players to keep quiet about the sport’s sordid goings on. One player was offered a closer car parking space to the club if he would share his drugs with the Secretary of the club who was having problems with staying alert during bingo nights. Arthur Crimshaw, head of Australian Bowling, vehemently denies any wrong doing saying it is perfectly natural for players to want to be kept fit and more importantly alive. But he refused to answer many questions at a press conference, mainly because his hearing aid was turned down too low. Some players have been found to be wearing electronic devices to artificially stimulate their heart, giving them an advantage over other players who don’t use the device and are … well, dead. Others are taking dozens of stimulants to keep them awake during the game. These drugs have also been passed or peddled in club bar rooms to spectators so they don’t fall asleep when games are televised. Dozens of used pill containers have been found in club change rooms and lockers. The use of pain killers is totally out of control the Sports Minister screamed. PM Julia Gillard looked genuinely shocked and said it was a national disgrace that needs to be eradicated. Another serious problem is alcohol consumption not only after games but alarmingly during games. The Sports Minister said the situation was intolerable and was sending a dreadful message to not only children but 30 to 50 year olds. The government has announced a probe into the sport. Crimshaw said his players were used to probes, just as long as they’ve been sterilized and are not too cold. Last edited by Lynx-lynx; 04-23-2013 at 03:01 AM. |
04-23-2013, 03:08 PM | #6426 |
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A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle. The first nerd was stunned and asked, "Where did you get such a nice bike?"
The second nerd replied, "Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want!'" The second nerd nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit." |
04-23-2013, 03:58 PM | #6427 |
Is that a sandwich?
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Hits on cute cashier girl. Credit card declined.
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04-24-2013, 12:55 AM | #6428 |
Snoozing in the sun
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A big game hunter went on a safari with his wife and mother-in-law.
One morning, while still deep in the jungle, the hunter's wife awakened to find her mother gone. She woke her husband, and they both set off in search of the old woman. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight. The mother-in-law was standing face to face with a ferocious lion. "What are we going to do?" his horrified wife asked. "Nothing," her husband replied, "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it." |
04-24-2013, 06:18 AM | #6429 |
Reborn Paper User
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Good for the guy! A credit card is only declined after its microchip has already gone through the slot.
Last edited by yvanleterrible; 04-24-2013 at 06:20 AM. |
04-24-2013, 11:17 AM | #6430 |
Close to the Edit!
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04-24-2013, 12:30 PM | #6431 |
FUBAR!
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04-24-2013, 12:33 PM | #6432 |
FUBAR!
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04-24-2013, 01:35 PM | #6433 |
Banned
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Peanuts 'toon of the day...
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04-24-2013, 02:45 PM | #6434 |
Banned
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Please accept my apologies in advance if this has been posted here previously...
A Greek and an Italian were talking one day discussing who had the superior culture. Over coffee the Greek says, "Well, we have the Parthenon." The Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum." The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to mathematics." The Italian, nodding, says, "But we built the Roman Empire." And, so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!" The Italian replies, "That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women..." |
04-24-2013, 03:50 PM | #6435 |
Is that a sandwich?
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Nothing says regret like the email address you made as a kid.
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