09-30-2013, 06:01 AM | #7081 |
Close to the Edit!
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Sweet dreams are made of cheese...who am I to dis a Brie?
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09-30-2013, 11:13 AM | #7082 |
Grand Sorcerer
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^And I thought Vogon poetry was bad.
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09-30-2013, 11:21 AM | #7083 |
Close to the Edit!
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Location: UK
Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"
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You'll have to take your complaint up with the Eurythmics.
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09-30-2013, 11:35 AM | #7084 |
Grand Sorcerer
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I know where it came from. I can actually picture the kind of place that would sell shirts with that on it. chills down my spine
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09-30-2013, 12:27 PM | #7085 |
Grand Sorcerer
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Tampa, FL USA
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09-30-2013, 02:41 PM | #7086 |
Formerly TT
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Device: Kobo Touch/ Nexus 7/ Nexus 4
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Two communist nudist are sitting on their porch when one says to the other: "I say dear fellow, have you read Marx?"
And his friend replied: "Yes, I believe it's these wicker chairs." |
09-30-2013, 03:00 PM | #7087 |
Is that a sandwich?
Posts: 8,189
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Device: Nook Glowlight Plus
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10-01-2013, 09:14 AM | #7088 |
Grand Sorcerer
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Children Are Quick
____________________________________ TEACHER: Why are you late? STUDENT: Class started before I got here. -------------------------------------------------------- TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America . MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS: Maria.. ____________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER: No, that's wrong GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. (I Love this child) ____________________________________________ TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. __________________________________ TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE: Me! __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. _______________________________________ TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. ' MILLIE: I is.. TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.' MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' ________________________________ TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand..... ______________________________________ TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. ______________________________ TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his? CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog. (I want to adopt this kid!!!) ___________________________________ TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher __________________________________ PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH! LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!! |
10-01-2013, 03:16 PM | #7089 |
Is that a sandwich?
Posts: 8,189
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Device: Nook Glowlight Plus
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10-02-2013, 04:24 PM | #7090 |
Is that a sandwich?
Posts: 8,189
Karma: 100500000
Join Date: Jun 2010
Device: Nook Glowlight Plus
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10-03-2013, 04:58 PM | #7091 |
Is that a sandwich?
Posts: 8,189
Karma: 100500000
Join Date: Jun 2010
Device: Nook Glowlight Plus
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10-03-2013, 05:35 PM | #7092 |
Bah, humbug!
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If I were him, that would be the end of my surfing days, but that scenario probably gets played out on every beach every day. Other surfers just don't have attached cameras to capture the moment.
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10-03-2013, 09:07 PM | #7093 |
Opsimath
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People are not shark food. Fish, turtles, and seals are shark food.
Now, think of the silhouette that the shark sees when he looks up at surfers.... looks just like a turtle or a seal, the favored dinner for almost every self-respecting meat-eating shark. This is why so many surfers get bitten every year. I love scuba diving around sharks, and do so often. But you'll never catch me on a surf board... Stitchawl |
10-04-2013, 08:38 AM | #7094 |
Reborn Paper User
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Location: Que Nada
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Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship.* “Follow me, son” the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.**
“First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing.”* And they did.** “Well done, son!* Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing.” And they did.** “Now we eat everybody.” And they did.* When they were both gorged, the son asked, “Dad, why didn’t we just eat them all at first?* Why did we swim around and around them?”* His wise father replied, “Because they taste better without the s**t inside!” |
10-04-2013, 01:50 PM | #7095 |
Reborn Paper User
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Speaking of sharks...
A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist says, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer passed away last week." The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." Once again the receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week." The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and say, "I want to speak to my lawyer." "Excuse me sir," the receptionist says, "but this is third time I've had to tell you that your lawyer DIED last week. Why do you keep calling?" The guy replies, "Because I love hearing it!" |
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