Silliness Old Bad Computer/Computer Programming Jokes - Page 2

GeoffC · 08-02-2008, 04:58 AM

"Excuse me young man, is that the coffee cup stand on that PC?"

RWood · 08-02-2008, 10:19 AM

In Japan, Sony Vaio machines have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with their own Japanese haiku poetry.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Web site you seek
Cannot be located but
Countless more exist
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask way too much.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

zelda_pinwheel · 08-02-2008, 10:24 AM

ha !!! those are brilliant.

RWood · 08-02-2008, 11:19 AM

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

zelda_pinwheel · 08-02-2008, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RWood

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

i don't know but maybe you should send over Corporal Punishment to have a word or two.

(pre-emptive groan : aaarg !!)

GeoffC · 08-02-2008, 11:28 AM

Perhaps you'd better get hold of Doctor Watson...

RWood · 08-02-2008, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

i don't know but maybe you should send over Corporal Punishment to have a word or two.

(pre-emptive groan : aaarg !!)

I would but the Corporal is on special duty with General Chaos at the moment. <rimshot>

zelda_pinwheel · 08-02-2008, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RWood

I would but the Corporal is on special duty with General Chaos at the moment. <rimshot>

Sparrow · 08-02-2008, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

i don't know but maybe you should send over Corporal Punishment to have a word or two.

(pre-emptive groan : aaarg !!)

I had a Major Groan at that one!

Back to computers:
What's an astronaut's favourite part of the keyboard?

The space bar.

.....

zelda_pinwheel · 08-02-2008, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sparrow

I had a Major Groan at that one!

arg !!

Quote:

Back to computers:
What's an astronaut's favourite part of the keyboard?

The space bar.

.....

argII : the return !!!

(stay tuned for part III : Son of arrg)

GeoffC · 08-02-2008, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sparrow

I had a Major Groan at that one!

Back to computers:
What's an astronaut's favourite part of the keyboard?

The space bar.

.....

Funny I thought it was the * key - they all see plenty of stars - no?

DMcCunney · 08-02-2008, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RWood

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

I've had more problems with his XO, Kernel Panic...
_____
Dennis

GeoffC · 08-02-2008, 12:52 PM

To the owner and only user...

"I am sorry, you do not have permission to access this file; please contact your administrator" (or similar) ... ggrrrr....

Xenophon · 08-02-2008, 01:31 PM

Q: How many IBM mainframes does it take to execute a program?

A: Five. Four to hold it down, and one to cut its head off.

(rim-shot)

Xenophon

BKeeper · 08-02-2008, 01:42 PM

"UNIX is user-friendly,... it's just very picky about who its friends are."

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08-02-2008, 04:58 AM	#16
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,600 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	"Excuse me young man, is that the coffee cup stand on that PC?"

08-02-2008, 10:19 AM	#17
RWood Technogeezer Posts: 7,233 Karma: 1601464 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virginia, USA Device: Sony PRS-500	In Japan, Sony Vaio machines have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with their own Japanese haiku poetry. Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - A file that big? It might be very useful. But now it is gone. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The Web site you seek Cannot be located but Countless more exist - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ABORTED effort: Close all that you have worked on. You ask way too much. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Yesterday it worked Today it is not working Windows is like that. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - First snow, then silence. This thousand dollar screen dies so beautifully. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - With searching comes loss and the presence of absence: "My Novel" not found. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The Tao that is seen Is not the true Tao, until You bring fresh toner. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Stay the patient course Of little worth is your ire The network is down - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Out of memory. We wish to hold the whole sky, But we never will. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Having been erased, The document you're seeking Must now be retyped. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared. Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

08-02-2008, 10:24 AM	#18
zelda_pinwheel zeldinha zippy zeldissima Posts: 27,827 Karma: 921169 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Paris, France Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?	ha !!! those are brilliant.

08-02-2008, 11:19 AM	#19
RWood Technogeezer Posts: 7,233 Karma: 1601464 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virginia, USA Device: Sony PRS-500	Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

08-02-2008, 11:28 AM	#21
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,600 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	Perhaps you'd better get hold of Doctor Watson...

08-02-2008, 12:52 PM	#28
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,600 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	To the owner and only user... "I am sorry, you do not have permission to access this file; please contact your administrator" (or similar) ... ggrrrr....

08-02-2008, 01:31 PM	#29
Xenophon curmudgeon Posts: 1,481 Karma: 5748190 Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Redwood City, CA USA Device: Kobo Aura HD, (ex)nook, (ex)PRS-700, (ex)PRS-500	Q: How many IBM mainframes does it take to execute a program? A: Five. Four to hold it down, and one to cut its head off. (rim-shot) Xenophon

08-02-2008, 01:42 PM	#30
BKeeper Groupie Posts: 186 Karma: 728 Join Date: Jul 2006 Device: Kindle PW	"UNIX is user-friendly,... it's just very picky about who its friends are."