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Old 01-27-2015, 05:27 AM   #8386
Lin2412
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Wikipedia: I know everything!
Google: I have everything!
Facebook: I know everybody!
Internet: Without me you are nothing!
Electricity: Keep talking sissies!



I have developed a fascination for IT jokes.
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Old 01-28-2015, 04:44 AM   #8387
crich70
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Q. What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Spoiler:
A. Stick with me and you'll go places.
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Old 01-29-2015, 11:16 AM   #8388
cromag
Surfing the alpha waves ~
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Originally Posted by Lin2412 View Post
Wikipedia: I know everything!
Google: I have everything!
Facebook: I know everybody!
Internet: Without me you are nothing!
Electricity: Keep talking sissies!

...
Abacus: Hey, you kids! Quiet down!
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Old 01-29-2015, 01:01 PM   #8389
wodin
Illiterate
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Abacus: Hey, you kids! Quiet down!
Fingers: You still need me to slide those beads around!
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Old 01-29-2015, 01:57 PM   #8390
HomeInMyShoes
Ginormous Intergalactic
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Brain: fingers, you're not moving without me.
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Old 01-29-2015, 02:48 PM   #8391
Bilbo1967
Not scared!
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Brain: fingers, you're not moving without me.
My mouth seems to manage fine without engaging the brain every now and again.
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Old 01-29-2015, 03:39 PM   #8392
pilotbob
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My mouth seems to manage fine without engaging the brain every now and again.
How'd that foot get in there?
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Old 01-29-2015, 03:54 PM   #8393
Bilbo1967
Not scared!
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How'd that foot get in there?
Exactly
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Old Yesterday, 12:08 AM   #8394
crich70
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My mouth seems to manage fine without engaging the brain every now and again.
And people in politics make a living out of what is a problem for the rest of us.
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Old Yesterday, 08:24 AM   #8395
orlok
Relaxing
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My dad always said to me, "Take it with a pinch of salt."

Nice man. Made horrible tea.
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Old Yesterday, 02:30 PM   #8396
PoP
Antonín ♯♭♪♮♫ ᵖʸᶠᵍᶜʳˡ
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Taking responsibility

« This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.
Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job.
Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.
»

Read in comment at /. today I thought it was an amusing way to state an otherwise sad reality... though it is reassuring that litterally, the job got done by someone named "Nobody"
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Old Yesterday, 02:44 PM   #8397
badgoodDeb
Wizard
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That's why I like to pick up trash while I walk my dog.
signed, Nobody
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Old Yesterday, 10:24 PM   #8398
PeterT
Grand Sorcerer
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An Arkansas woman is in the welfare office filling out forms.

The welfare officer asks her how many children she has?

"Ten boys."

"And their names?"

"Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, and Leroy."

"All named Leroy? Why would you name them all Leroy?"

"That way, when I wants them all to come in from the yard, I just yells 'LEROY!', and when I wants them all to come to dinner, I just yells 'LEROY!'"

"What if you just want a particular one of them to do something?"

"Then I calls him by his last name."
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