"Peaceful" or "Lonesome"?

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by desertgrandma

....
Being older than most of you durn young 'uns, I remember back in the day before TV came into the house. We had a radio, but it wasn't played much.

You made your own entertainment, used your imagination, and had to think about things. I still love jigsaw puzzles, reading, gardening and sewing. I loved the quiet walks, the talking with my mom.
...

...milking the pterodactyls every morning, learning about this new-fangled thing called "the wheel", riding the stegosaurus to school, decorating the cave walls with ochre, discovering fire,...

And you try and tell the young people of today that...they won't believe you.

(Personally, I'd say I could get by quite happily with my own company, but truthfully I'd probably die without The Loved One)

Cheers,
Marc (RUN AWAY!)

[dreams]

I chose... I could live without people and outside noises easily. I enjoy silence.

It's only been the last almost two years that I have really got to enjoy this. The first year my son was gone for his clinical year, it was hard to get use to the silence. I about went crazy with the silence and had to have something on for the noise factor.

This second year (his residency year) is much easier and I really enjoy the quiet! I think I could quite easily become a happy-go-lucky hermit (if it wasn't for the pesky point of earning some money for the mortgage payment).

P.S. Glad to see you back and setting up polls, desertgrandma.

[Peverel]

People are ok but not as good as the friends I have inside my head.

(ok that sounds more loony than I meant but you know what I mean I am sure lol)

[ruskie]

"I enjoy being alone, but need something, music, etc in the background to connect to."

This seems to be the closest to me. But what do I include here. Not music per-se... But natural sounds. I.e. wind blowing, birds chirping etc....

I can't really stand absolute silence. It's scary.

But natural sounds that's really the only stimuli I need.

And as I have sensitive ears a lot of things in "civilization" bug me.

But as I have an overactive imagination I can generally be alone 99% of the time easily. Infact I prefer to be alone. All the distractions available now-a-days are just that annoying distractions that break away from introspection which I believe is an important part of being alive. If you can't think about yourself, your life, etc... how can you think about everything else in the world.

The way I see it a lot of people seem to think that thinking about yourself and so on means putting "Me, myself and I" as the ultimate goal. And then we get today's society nobody really caring about anyone else. That's wrong thinking about yourself should include thinking about how you fit in the environment. How you interact with it etc... Most people though from my own experience will thinking of only a few things:

a) instant gratification(getting that car or whatever other trinket)
b) personal problems(how to get more money to do a)

Atleast that's from my own observations. I still have hope that this will change.

[Sweetpea]

Originally Posted by slayda

I must be pretty much the opposite of DixieGal. When I'm around people (more than a couple) for very long I get really antsy. My wife took me to a horse camp once (I'm not a horse person either). After 4 days of too many people and too many horses, I just had to get out of there. (She promised to "never do that to me again."

I sometimes feel like people are broadcasters and I'm a receiver but I can never tune in the station and so only get static. Sometimes I have to turn it off.

That doesn't mean I want no external stimulus. Before my back went bad, I loved to hike (alone) and take pictures of wildflowers. Of course I love reading too and MR is enough social interaction for me - i.e. the transmitters are far enough away I don't receive the static or at least I can ignore it by stepping away from my computer.

I've often wondered how I'd do in a sensory deprivation chamber. I think it might be fun. I like my own company (and sometimes a few other special people).

Couldn't have worded it better...

I can't stand crowded areas. I'll get really cranky (ask my husband when we've to do grocery shopping, and especially when it's busy!) really fast.

but give me a good book, a comfy place to read it, no external stimuli, and I'll be happy as a clam (can a clam be happy anyway?).

Every evening when I get home, I turn off the car engine (or the husband does), I'll just sit in the car, doors open (unless it's raining, naturally!) and just enjoy the silence...

I'm really looking forwards to having our lounge ready so I can retreat there, surrounded by books and a comfy place to read...

[mjh215]

I need a certain amount of time around others, but generally I like to keep it to one or two friends at a time... I'm not big on crowds... Going to the fleamarkets took me awhile to adjust, and a friend to walk with me at first (seriously), I would just get social anxiety like you wouldn't believe...

Nothing would make me happier to live in the middle of the woods with a mile between me and anyone else. The hundred or so times each day I'm treated to the lyrical boomings of someone's rolling stereo passing my house is enough to make me pass on 'civilization'... Just give me land and somewhere to put my shop, I'll build a house (with a big library... ) and furnishings myself...

-MJ

[Sparrow]

I really enjoy solitude and living by myself (every day is like a holiday).

I've tried being more sociable, but always end up craving my normal existence and the freedom it offers.
Now I just accept that the social whirl isn't for me, and I'm at my happiest when I'm away from it.

[Over]

Originally Posted by desertgrandma

We all find ourselves alone from time to time.

When this happens, are you comfortable with your own company, or do you get "antsy" and crave companionship?

Do you find being by yourself peaceful or lonesome?

When I say "alone", I mean "alone" No TV, no internet, no radio/music. NO MR.......and without pets. Most of us treat our pets like humans anyway.

Can you be happy without outside stimuli?

Please post your reasons...

You're basically asking if we are introverts or extroverts

[HappyMartin]

My wife or no one pretty much. I deal with people all day at work and treasure moments of solitude.

Just got back from a 7 day silent retreat with 10 people in the desert. Meals, though silent, were communal and became a real ordeal for me.

[GeoffC]

I like the peace and quiet, but also the company of wife, kids and pets ....

[Ea]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

I really enjoy solitude and living by myself (every day is like a holiday).
...

*lol* yeah


No-one's touched on it yet, but I find there's an essential difference between people as outside stimuli and Internet/TV as outside stimuli; with the latter I can control the amount and "speed" of interaction. When I write a comment or email I can stop to think - or I can leave the computer if I need a break. I can turn off music if my ears are "tired". You can't do that with people (at least not if you want not to be rude and to continue relations with them )

[Sweetpea]

Originally Posted by Ea

*lol* yeah


No-one's touched on it yet, but I find there's an essential difference between people as outside stimuli and Internet/TV as outside stimuli; with the latter I can control the amount and "speed" of interaction. When I write a comment or email I can stop to think - or I can leave the computer if I need a break. I can turn off music if my ears are "tired". You can't do that with people (at least not if you want not to be rude and to continue relations with them )

Yes. It generally is rather rude if you walk away from your friends when you're having a conversation, while you wouldn't know if this post took me 5 minutes or 2 hours

(well, you would, looking at the time stamp, but you know what I mean!)

And there is a big difference between human generated stimuli or nature generated stimuli (not talking about pets). I love to just sit in the garden and listen to the birds and the wind in the leaves. Or, when there's a good storm going on, the sound of the wind around the house...

[desertgrandma]

Originally Posted by Ea

*lol* yeah


No-one's touched on it yet, but I find there's an essential difference between people as outside stimuli and Internet/TV as outside stimuli; with the latter I can control the amount and "speed" of interaction. When I write a comment or email I can stop to think - or I can leave the computer if I need a break. I can turn off music if my ears are "tired". You can't do that with people (at least not if you want not to be rude and to continue relations with them )

Excellent point. Even so, you can get 'hooked' on internet interaction and it can be every bit as irritating as outside stimuli.
The "speed" of interaction depends a lot on how in control you are of your personal emotions when your buttons are pushed. The big difference is that you can't reach out and smack someone online........I'm just sayin......

[columbus]

Originally Posted by Moejoe;

I've always been a bit of a loner, even when I'm in relationships (this probably explains my single status ). I like my own space and that space is often inside my own head. I like being in company and am very comfortable in that role, but only for so long, then I want to be off on my own again with my thoughts.

This fits me to a tee, though I was married for 36 years untill my wife hit the hormone black hole

Originally Posted by desertgrandma;

Being older than most of you durn young 'uns, I remember back in the day before TV came into the house. We had a radio, but it wasn't played much. .

So! I am not alone here , I was in my teens before we had a TV. I remember well the radio - it was on virtually all the time in our household -I remember fondly UK shows like the Goons, Much binding in the marsh, Dick Barton, journey into space. & many many more

Originally Posted by Sparrow;

I really enjoy solitude and living by myself (every day is like a holiday).

I've tried being more sociable, but always end up craving my normal existence and the freedom it offers.
Now I just accept that the social whirl isn't for me, and I'm at my happiest when I'm away from it.

Right on brother!!!

I think I drop between the first two;

I could live without people, but need something, music, etc in the background to connect to.

I have my two dogs & cat & probably because of the radio in my youth need the sound in the background now.

Hey! do we have a shrink reading this thread who is prepared to pm us his opions!

(BTW DG It's great to see you back making everybody think)

[GeoffC]

Originally Posted by desertgrandma

Excellent point. Even so, you can get 'hooked' on internet interaction and it can be every bit as irritating as outside stimuli.
The "speed" of interaction depends a lot on how in control you are of your personal emotions when your buttons are pushed. The big difference is that you can't reach out and smack someone online........I'm just sayin......

you manage remarkably well ....