Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 432

badgoodDeb · 05-02-2013, 04:27 PM

I read it as Unicorn too ..... so I went back and looked again. It DOES say Unicorn!!! At least, by now it does! I like it much better this way

DianNC · 05-02-2013, 05:25 PM

Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.

"I froze to death," says the second.

"That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to death?"

"It's very uncomfortable at first", says the second man. "You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?"

"I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there, either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died."

The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he says.

"What do you mean?" asks the first man.

"If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive".

WT Sharpe · 05-02-2013, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

I read it as Unicorn too ..... so I went back and looked again. It DOES say Unicorn!!! At least, by now it does! I like it much better this way

The mystery is solved. 10 hours 27 minutes after making the original post, Mr. pdurrant edited his post and changed "unicode" to "unicorn".

Banned fellow moderator for messing with our heads.

WT Sharpe · 05-02-2013, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

I read it as Unicorn too ..... so I went back and looked again. It DOES say Unicorn!!! At least, by now it does! I like it much better this way

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

The mystery is solved. 10 hours 27 minutes after making the original post, Mr. pdurrant edited his post and changed "unicode" to "unicorn".

Banned fellow moderator for messing with our heads.

But wait! He didn't change it until 2 hours, 11 minutes ago. That means we still read "unicode" as "unicorn". Paul's really messing with our head.

Double-banned fellow mod.

wodin · 05-02-2013, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

I read it as Unicorn too ..... so I went back and looked again. It DOES say Unicorn!!! At least, by now it does! I like it much better this way

Pdurrant! You sly dog! You've been found out. Check the quote a few posts down from your original "unicorn" post.

I agree Deb, much better.

As I bang my much messed with head on my desk!

Fbone · 05-02-2013, 08:47 PM

“Why didn’t you answer my call?”

“Because I was dancing to my ringtone.”

orlok · 05-03-2013, 04:09 AM

The 3rd "Nile" virus is coming. I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus. Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one. It appears to target those who were born prior to 1953...

Virus Symptoms:
1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice. (Done that)
2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail. (That too)
3. Causes you to send an e-mail to the wrong person. (Yup)
4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you. (Ah-ha)
5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment. (Done that)
6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished. (Oh no, not again)
7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND". (Hate that)
8. Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE." (OH HECK, NOW WHAT?)

ALSO KNOWN AS THE "C-NILE VIRUS."

Hmmm...... have I posted this already, or did you just post it?

Bookpossum · 05-03-2013, 04:52 AM

Golly - it has spread out to Australia already!

pdurrant · 05-03-2013, 05:33 AM

You have just downloaded and are reading the latest in web forum malware. This malware uses up-to-the-minute meme technology to spread. Because of the honesty and trustworthiness of people like you, this malware has thrived in the competitive Internet ecosystem.

Don't let down all the people who have worked hard to bring this malware to your computer. On your honour, pledge now to post this message to two of your favourite web forums and then delete five randomly chosen files from your hard disk.

Only with your help and dedication can this malware thrive. We're all counting on you to do your part.

Thank you.

[N.B. This is a joke. Do not pass this on, and do not delete any of your files.]

steven522 · 05-03-2013, 09:09 AM

As a joke, to my sister-in-law who constantly is plagued by email viruses, I sent the following:

"You hath been infected by the Amish virus. As we are simple folk and know not of the advanced technology required to engineer such a disastrous digital attack, we kindly request that you please forward this to 20 friends and then promptly delete all of the files upon thine computing device."

Her husband opened the email first. It was all she could do to stop him from following the instruction above.

wodin · 05-03-2013, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bookpossum

Golly - it has spread out to Australia already!

Via Hawaii!

troll05 · 05-03-2013, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wodin

Via Hawaii!

This seems to be simultaneous worldwide infection coming from nothing in the second the first computer was developed...

Fbone · 05-03-2013, 04:05 PM

“You’ve changed.”

“Well I couldn’t stay a sperm forever could I?”

Joseph R · 05-03-2013, 09:18 PM

Arnold Schwarzenegger asks Tom Cruise to be in a movie together, a movie is about pianists. Arnold says to Cruise: "You'll be Mozart and I'll be Bach."

Bookpossum · 05-03-2013, 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joseph R

Arnold Schwarzenegger asks Tom Cruise to be in a movie together, a movie is about pianists. Arnold says to Cruise: "You'll be Mozart and I'll be Bach."

GROAN!!!

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05-02-2013, 04:27 PM	#6466
badgoodDeb Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,501 Karma: 64095689 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Harrisburg outskirts Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1	I read it as Unicorn too ..... so I went back and looked again. It DOES say Unicorn!!! At least, by now it does! I like it much better this way

05-02-2013, 05:25 PM	#6467
DianNC Banned Posts: 1,431 Karma: 5222495 Join Date: Jun 2011 Device: Nook Color, Entourage Pocket Edge, iPod Touch 5th Gen	Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asks the second. "I froze to death," says the second. "That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to death?" "It's very uncomfortable at first", says the second man. "You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?" "I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there, either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died." The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he says. "What do you mean?" asks the first man. "If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive".

05-02-2013, 08:47 PM	#6471
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	“Why didn’t you answer my call?” “Because I was dancing to my ringtone.”

05-03-2013, 04:09 AM	#6472
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	The 3rd "Nile" virus is coming. I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus. Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one. It appears to target those who were born prior to 1953... Virus Symptoms: 1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice. (Done that) 2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail. (That too) 3. Causes you to send an e-mail to the wrong person. (Yup) 4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you. (Ah-ha) 5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment. (Done that) 6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished. (Oh no, not again) 7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND". (Hate that) 8. Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE." (OH HECK, NOW WHAT?) ALSO KNOWN AS THE "C-NILE VIRUS." Hmmm...... have I posted this already, or did you just post it?

05-03-2013, 04:52 AM	#6473
Bookpossum Snoozing in the sun Posts: 10,137 Karma: 115423645 Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Melbourne, Australia Device: iPad Mini, Kobo Touch	Golly - it has spread out to Australia already!

05-03-2013, 05:33 AM	#6474
pdurrant The Grand Mouse 高貴的老鼠 Posts: 71,504 Karma: 306214458 Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Norfolk, England Device: Kindle Voyage	You have just downloaded and are reading the latest in web forum malware. This malware uses up-to-the-minute meme technology to spread. Because of the honesty and trustworthiness of people like you, this malware has thrived in the competitive Internet ecosystem. Don't let down all the people who have worked hard to bring this malware to your computer. On your honour, pledge now to post this message to two of your favourite web forums and then delete five randomly chosen files from your hard disk. Only with your help and dedication can this malware thrive. We're all counting on you to do your part. Thank you. [N.B. This is a joke. Do not pass this on, and do not delete any of your files.]

05-03-2013, 09:09 AM	#6475
steven522 binomial: homo legentem Posts: 1,061 Karma: 25222222 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Alabama, USA Device: iriver Story HD; Archos 80 G9	As a joke, to my sister-in-law who constantly is plagued by email viruses, I sent the following: "You hath been infected by the Amish virus. As we are simple folk and know not of the advanced technology required to engineer such a disastrous digital attack, we kindly request that you please forward this to 20 friends and then promptly delete all of the files upon thine computing device." Her husband opened the email first. It was all she could do to stop him from following the instruction above.

05-03-2013, 04:05 PM	#6478
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	“You’ve changed.” “Well I couldn’t stay a sperm forever could I?”

05-03-2013, 09:18 PM	#6479
Joseph R Zealot Posts: 136 Karma: 2137000 Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Calgary, Alberta Device: iPad, Kobo Glo HD	Arnold Schwarzenegger asks Tom Cruise to be in a movie together, a movie is about pianists. Arnold says to Cruise: "You'll be Mozart and I'll be Bach."