The Tale of the Spotted Dick Pudding - a Hugo & Lefty Adventure

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

YSS - Yeti Security Systems. Best protection in the galaxy.

Cheers,
Marc

...and not even just *this* galaxy, either.

nighty night, am and yeti. i hope yeti feels better tomorrow. i should probably be heading that direction as well.

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

pff. not even an offer of a thermos of zany carters ? remind me not to call you the next time *i'm* sick.

Hey, all Mobilita Republica residents get a crate of ZCC (Zany Carter Concentrate) delivered every day by their {nudge-nudge-wink-wink} "milkman". I can't help it if he drinks like a (blue one next to the) fish.

Cheers,
Marc (Fine...[loads trebuchet with full esky] Hey, Yeti...INCOMING!)

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Hey, all Mobilita Republica residents get a crate of ZCC (Zany Carter Concentrate) delivered every day by their {nudge-nudge-wink-wink} "milkman". I can't help it if he drinks like a (blue one next to the) fish.

Cheers,
Marc (Fine...[loads trebuchet with full esky] Hey, Yeti...INCOMING!)

that's more like it.

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

...
i should probably be heading that direction as well.

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

that's more like it.

Catnap, or still delaying that semi-somnambular stumble? (Which reminds me, I still haven't mulched those leaves I said I was about to...)

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Catnap, or still delaying that semi-somnambular stumble? (Which reminds me, I still haven't mulched those leaves I said I was about to...)

(actually i got distracted and forgot. it was your fault by the way : you said something about World wide words' feeds and i thought "ohmygod ! i could make a www recipe for calibre and have it on my liseuse !!!" (i don't know why that never occurred to me previously). obviously i had to try to do this immediately.

but thanks for the reminder, i really do have to go to bed.

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

(actually i got distracted and forgot.

Story of my life.

it was your fault by the way :

You only say that because you know I'd feel chuffed about it.

you said something about World wide words' feeds and i thought "ohmygod ! i could make a www recipe for calibre and have it on my liseuse !!!" (i don't know why that never occurred to me previously). obviously i had to try to do this immediately.

You've definitely got to post that one somewhere 'round here on MR. I think there's a fair few word-lovers around who'd like that one.

but thanks for the reminder, i really do have to go to bed.

...and I really have to mulch those leaves for bin night. That's it - I'm doing it now...

Sweet, pastry-filled dreams to you.

Cheers,
Marc

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Story of my life.

really ? *never* happens to me.

You only say that because you know I'd feel chuffed about it.

You've definitely got to post that one somewhere 'round here on MR. I think there's a fair few word-lovers around who'd like that one.

i have to figure it out first. i think i'm close, but i don't have much experience.

...and I really have to mulch those leaves for bin night. That's it - I'm doing it now...

arg !!! now i feel more pressure to shut everything down and GO TO BED.

NOW.

Sweet, pastry-filled dreams to you.

and to you. or... well, maybe not yet. hope those leaves don't give you any grief. you're not planning to mulch them with a crowbar, are you ?

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

....
arg !!! now i feel more pressure to shut everything down and GO TO BED.

NOW.

So...you asleep yet?

and to you. or... well, maybe not yet. hope those leaves don't give you any grief. you're not planning to mulch them with a crowbar, are you ?

No, it's an electric mulcher with a big, grinding, dragging, munching, cogwheel in it...what could possibly go wrong?

Cheers,
Marc

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

So...you asleep yet?

AAAAAAAAAARRGG !!! what is wrong with me ????

No, it's an electric mulcher with a big, grinding, dragging, munching, cogwheel in it...what could possibly go wrong?

dear lord, who in their right mind would ever let you play with anything like that ??? where on earth is the loved one when you need grownup supervision ??? tell me this isn't the day he's out of town. if it is, i think this project should wait till after he gets back.

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

AAAAAAAAAARRGG !!! what is wrong with me ????

How 'bout now?

dear lord, who in their right mind would ever let you play with anything like that ???

No-one in their right mind, but fortunately I've never met such a mythical individual.

where on earth is the loved one when you need grownup supervision ??? tell me this isn't the day he's out of town. if it is, i think this project should wait till after he gets back.

Sydney. Yes it is. Too late. Hey, I type pretty fast with one hand, don't I?

Cheers,
Marc (post-spa, post-Canadian-Club-and-Dry, post-mango, post-codeine...I feel flooby)

[GeoffC]

mmmmm

hope the next chapter leaves my keyboard and screen in a better condition that this latest one did ......

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Chapter 15 (the penultimate chapter)

---

Zelda arrived just in time to see Chappie being hit by a girl wielding both a wet fish and a tray of cake. As the cake seemed to be free, she took a piece and munched on it. Her expression turned from pure pleasure to unmitigated shock and horror as she realised this tasted almost identical to the spotted dick pudding she had eaten earlier. Feeling grateful she had eaten this with her back to the girls handing the stuff out, she composed herself, and turned around to face them. Well, one of them. The other was berating the man she had hit with a haddock for stealing a postman’s bike.

“This cake, it’s rather good” As an opening bandit, she’d done better

“Thank you! This is a sample batch, so if there’s any feedback you’d like to give us, so we can make it even better…?” The girl’s eyes were twinkling almost unnaturally with the pleasure of her job.

“No. No it’s perfect. Which company…?”

“Oh, we’re with the ICC, based just over there” the girl helpfully said, then fell flat on her back as a large wet fish smacked her in the face

“I’m really sorry” said the other girl, sounding hopelessly insincere.

The two started bickering, and Chappie took the opportunity to stand up, only to be collared by someone else.

“You” said the person, imperiously. “You stole that bike?”

“Errr, merely borrowed it. I needed to get somewhere quicker than I could on foot” Unintentionally, he gave away his intended destination with a very quick glance.

“Wonderful. You’re just the man I need. Follow me!” she paused, as if listening to something only she could hear “Oh. I’m Queen Zelda of Pinwheel. You may call me ‘your highness’”

“Right” he managed, just, to make it sound non-disbelieving. He wondered if he ought to point out that she had a sock safety pinned to a small pinwheel on her shoulder, but decided it would be safest not to.

—

The journey there was uneventful. Getting into the building was surprisingly easy. Chappie made various suggestions, all of which were royally ignored. They went in through the front doors and convinced the receptionist that they should see Mr Kipling immediately, if not sooner. Chappie guessed his expression of “don’t mess with me” was what had made the receptionist wear a look of surprise intermingled with worry. In reality, she was more concerned about her short term memory, as she was sure that the woman had a sock and a pinwheel on her shoulder when she came in, and now she had neither. Moments later, they were ushered into Mr Kipling’s office

—

“Lefty?”

“Yes Hugo?”

“Do you have the plans?”

“Erm,, no, Hugo. They’re in the kitchen where they belong”

“Plans, Lefty. The layout of the building.”

“Oh the map! Why didn’t you say? Yes. We need to go… now if that door is at 12 o’ clock, and that vent is at 4, then we need to go west-south-west”

—

“Welcome. And please, have a cup of tea. I can’t guarantee it’s good quality - our finance director thinks he’s also the tea boy, but he can’t make tea for love nor money. Which is ironic, when you think about it”

Zelda and Chappie exchanged glances as Mr Kipling’s back was turned, then exchanged them back again in case he noticed when he turned back around.

“Now then, good people, what can I do for you?”

“I’ll be blunt” said Zelda, realising that if she let Chappie speak first it could go disastrously wrong. “We want the recipe given back to its rightful owner.”

Mr Kipling, understandably, looked worried.

“I am a monarch” she went on, “and as such do have a considerable amount of funds at my disposal. Plus, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to start a diplomatic incident” She started to smile winningly, then noticed the look on his face. This wasn’t going quite as well as she had hoped.

—

“… And then we go up here, loop round this bonsai three times widdershins, drop through the air vent, open the oven door, sneak around the back…”

—

“You’re the queen” Mr Kipling put sarcastic emphasis on the word “of the kingdom” said with so much sarcastic emphasis it was in danger of breaking “of Pinwheel?” he smirked, and buzzed his secretary.

“Can you bring me a gazateer, please? And the CIA World Fact Book thingywotsit? Yes, the ebook version will be fine. No, I don’t know anyone called Nathan, nor why they are considered great. Just do it, please? And ask the HR manager to bring some more tea. She has to better than the FD”

—

“… Then round and round the mulberry bush… no, wait, wrong sheet… ahhh we should be here”

“Ummm… thank you, Lefty. I think”

Two socks, one with a pinwheel attached to a safety pin, slunk across the floor towards a safe. They helped each other up to the combination lock, and slowly, carefully, turned the dial this way, then that, then the other.

—

“So, the gazateer shows no sign of your mythical country. Let’s see what the CIA have to say” he gloated, tapping through the pages…

—

The safe door creaked open. An acorn and a piece of paper are pushed out.

—

“Oh” Mr Kipling paused, his facing going a little ashen, then reached for his phone again. “Erm, do we have another copy? We do, great!”

He looked back up at the pair.

—

Back in reception, Mr Nutkin saw himself him, waved cheerily at the receptionist, and headed to the safe room

—

“Hugo?”

“Yes Lefty?”

“I can hear footsteps!”

“We’d best get out then”

And two socks, one with a safety pin but no pinwheel, slunk speedily out of the room, and back the way they had come, leaving behind a small pile of ashes, a tiny fragment of paper, and a smashed acorn camera.

—

“Hrm. I see.” Mr Kipling’s desk now resembled that of a liseuse reviewer. “Well, it appears you may not be completely incorrect about the kingdom of Pinwheel. That doesn’t mean I have to…”

He stopped as the door burst open and Mr Nutkins stormed in.

“The… safe… room…” he gasped “all... gone…”

He sat down, wheezing.

Mr Kipling called security and asked to see the cctv footage.

“The… recipe… gone?” Mr Kipling gasped

“Yes” the other nodded

Zelda and Chappie exchanged looks again, and slipped out.

As they left, Zelda felt something land in her pocket. She reached in, and found what looked like a tiny roll of film, and an acorn. A small voice in her head, or at least her hat, told her it was a projector. They headed back to the tea shop.

[badgoodDeb]

Originally Posted by ShortNCuddlyAm

Zelda and Chappie exchanged glances as Mr Kipling’s back was turned, then exchanged them back again in case he noticed when he turned back around.

Love it!! I'm glad to see the story and the recipe are heading to a proper finish!

[zelda_pinwheel]

you know, you actually made me go and download nate's cia factbook just to check (i wouldn't put it past him, given what else he added). (and no, i'm not going to tell, y'all can go check for yourselves.)

[zelda_pinwheel]

i'm a bit conflicted seeing this is the penultimate chapter. on the one hand, oh ! the suspense ! finally, we'll find out how it turns out !! on the other hand, want moar storeeez !!!!!