Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 17

columbus · 05-20-2009, 01:46 PM

An Irishman & a Muslim were seated next to each other on a flight from Dublin to London .
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.
The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the Muslim if he would like a drink.
He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."
The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said,
"Me too, I didn't know we had a choice."

Jaime_Astorga · 05-21-2009, 05:17 PM

Okay, here's one! What do 9 people out of 10 enjoy?

Gang rape.

NatCh · 05-21-2009, 05:53 PM

I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I just don't find the topic of rape to be funny in any context.

Jaime_Astorga · 05-21-2009, 06:33 PM

Okay, let me try something else then.

An algebra student, a geometry student, and a caclulus student are all given a length of fence and told to enclose the biggest area possible with it.

The algebra student makes a square; not bad for his level.

The geometry student makes a circle, thus maximizing the area. She turns to the calculus student and says "I'd like to see you beat that!"

So the calculus student takes a very small part of the fence, wraps it around himself, and loudly declares "I define myself to be on the outside of the fence!"

zelda_pinwheel · 05-21-2009, 06:38 PM

i agree with natch about the previous joke, but this one was funny.

badgoodDeb · 05-21-2009, 06:40 PM

Oh yes, this one is good (says this math person!)

RWood · 05-21-2009, 11:13 PM

The following joke is told with slight revision to remove the nationality of the original joke.

Two Fenwickians were on a 747 from NYC to London.
The Captain came on the speaker and said that they had just lost engine #4 and they would arrive about 2 hours late.
Later the Captain said that #2 had also gone out and now they would be 5 hours late.
Shortly after that the Captain came on and said theat engine #3 had gone out and they would be nine hours late.
At this point the first Fenwickian turns to the second Fenwickian and says, "If that last engine goes out we'll be up here all night."

NatCh · 05-22-2009, 12:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaime_Astorga

Okay, let me try something else then.

An algebra student, a geometry student, and a caclulus student are all given a length of fence and told to enclose the biggest area possible with it.

The algebra student makes a square; not bad for his level.

The geometry student makes a circle, thus maximizing the area. She turns to the calculus student and says "I'd like to see you beat that!"

So the calculus student takes a very small part of the fence, wraps it around himself, and loudly declares "I define myself to be on the outside of the fence!"

Now that I consider very funny.

Did you hear about the Aggie who was so dumb the rest of them noticed?

Did you hear about the Aggie that broke his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

Do you know how we get him out of the tree now? Wave at him.

Did you hear about the Aggie that got asked to join Mensa? Of course not.

Disclaimer: I are an Aggie, class of '93 as it happens.

GeoffC · 05-22-2009, 06:49 AM

I once knew a joke about memory aids - funnily I can't remember it.

rebarnmom · 05-22-2009, 05:26 PM

Receptionist: Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room.
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him right now.

Peverel · 05-22-2009, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rebarnmom

Receptionist: Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room.
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him right now.

Patient : Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains
Doctor : Pull yourself together, Man!

Oldie but erm well actually pretty poor

zelda_pinwheel · 05-22-2009, 07:48 PM

what goes "hahahah BONK" ?

a man laughing his head off.

full disclosure : i am actually incapable of telling that joke out loud. i laugh too much too say the answer. i'm giggling right now, and i only typed it.

vivaldirules · 05-22-2009, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

what goes "hahahah BONK" ?

a man laughing his head off.

full disclosure : i am actually incapable of telling that joke out loud. i laugh too much too say the answer. i'm giggling right now, and i only typed it.

Yep, she's drunk, all right. Quick, let's toss her in the cold shower. We can only hope that there hasn't been irreparable damage to too many neurons this time.

zelda_pinwheel · 05-22-2009, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

Yep, she's drunk, all right. Quick, let's toss her in the cold shower. We can only hope that there hasn't been irreparable damage to too many neurons this time.

i'll have you know that joke makes me giggle dead sober as well.

vivaldirules · 05-22-2009, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

i'll have you know that joke makes me giggle dead sober as well.

(psst. Zelda, that's a result of lost neurons from the previous episode, remember? no, I guess you wouldn't.)

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05-20-2009, 01:46 PM	#241
columbus Wizard Posts: 999 Karma: 5487540 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: In my own imagination. Device: Sony Prs 650, 505	An Irishman & a Muslim were seated next to each other on a flight from Dublin to London . After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Muslim if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips." The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice."

05-21-2009, 05:17 PM	#242
Jaime_Astorga Member Retired Posts: 274 Karma: 4446 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Florida Device: PRS-350-SC: Sony Reader Pocket Edition	Okay, here's one! What do 9 people out of 10 enjoy? Gang rape.

05-21-2009, 05:53 PM	#243
NatCh Gizmologist Posts: 11,615 Karma: 929550 Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Republic of Texas Embassy at Jackson, TN Device: Pocketbook Touch HD3	I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I just don't find the topic of rape to be funny in any context.

05-21-2009, 06:33 PM	#244
Jaime_Astorga Member Retired Posts: 274 Karma: 4446 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Florida Device: PRS-350-SC: Sony Reader Pocket Edition	Okay, let me try something else then. An algebra student, a geometry student, and a caclulus student are all given a length of fence and told to enclose the biggest area possible with it. The algebra student makes a square; not bad for his level. The geometry student makes a circle, thus maximizing the area. She turns to the calculus student and says "I'd like to see you beat that!" So the calculus student takes a very small part of the fence, wraps it around himself, and loudly declares "I define myself to be on the outside of the fence!"

05-21-2009, 06:38 PM	#245
zelda_pinwheel zeldinha zippy zeldissima Posts: 27,827 Karma: 921169 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Paris, France Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?	i agree with natch about the previous joke, but this one was funny.

05-21-2009, 06:40 PM	#246
badgoodDeb Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,501 Karma: 64095689 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Harrisburg outskirts Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1	Oh yes, this one is good (says this math person!)

05-21-2009, 11:13 PM	#247
RWood Technogeezer Posts: 7,233 Karma: 1601464 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virginia, USA Device: Sony PRS-500	The following joke is told with slight revision to remove the nationality of the original joke. Two Fenwickians were on a 747 from NYC to London. The Captain came on the speaker and said that they had just lost engine #4 and they would arrive about 2 hours late. Later the Captain said that #2 had also gone out and now they would be 5 hours late. Shortly after that the Captain came on and said theat engine #3 had gone out and they would be nine hours late. At this point the first Fenwickian turns to the second Fenwickian and says, "If that last engine goes out we'll be up here all night."

05-22-2009, 06:49 AM	#249
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,600 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	I once knew a joke about memory aids - funnily I can't remember it.

05-22-2009, 05:26 PM	#250
rebarnmom Wizard Posts: 1,289 Karma: 4525055 Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: rural Illinois, USA Device: Sony PRS-700 (traded in), Sony PRS-650	Receptionist: Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room. Doctor: Tell him I can't see him right now.

05-22-2009, 07:48 PM	#252
zelda_pinwheel zeldinha zippy zeldissima Posts: 27,827 Karma: 921169 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Paris, France Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?	what goes "hahahah BONK" ? a man laughing his head off. full disclosure : i am actually incapable of telling that joke out loud. i laugh too much too say the answer. i'm giggling right now, and i only typed it.