04-12-2009, 09:32 AM | #1 |
Grand Sorcerer
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News Flashes from the Future!
All sorts of people are worried about the future, so let's have some light-hearted News flashed from the future....I'll Start it out.
Flash! - Dateline - Mexico City, April 12, 2025. Texas secedes from the US and joins Mexico! Cites need for more responsive government and less corruption. Mexico responded with open arms. "About time they got the chance to use a decent, organized language." states Mexico's President. |
04-12-2009, 09:35 AM | #2 |
Banned
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Flash - Dateline - Brussels, April 12, 2025
Hats back in fashion! The much maligned Trilby and Fedora have become essential fashion items for men this Spring all across Europe and the world. A spokesperson for the BMA (Bald Men's Association) is quoted as saying: "Finally we can walk out in the streets without shame. This is a new era for the follicley challenged." |
04-12-2009, 09:56 AM | #3 |
Guru
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didja c that last nite? - PPN - Earth, like 2061 or sumtin
yo i was all like wow, but u know wha? it was just like nuttin so i said o well... but they said i had to rite 1 thing or nother so i figure wha tha hell... so here from wikipedia . "halley was this smart dood long ago, and so they named this cold rock thing in the sky after him. [citation needed dumbass]" |
04-12-2009, 01:32 PM | #4 |
Grand Sorcerer
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Flash! - Dateline - April 14 2011 -
News Corp announces the merger of the recently acquired National Inquirer with The Wall Street Journal. Rupert Murdock is reported to have said "This allows us to merge the hard hitting investegative journalism of the Inquirer with the forward thinking news needs of investors. After all, the truth is out there somewhere, and when we find it, we'll tell you about it - and show you how to make a profit off of it." In an additional coup, News Corp has announced it has gotten the exclusive right to a "green investing" series of articles from the Loch Ness Monster and an ongoing column on tech investing from two California-resident space aliens. Rumors about ongoing merger talks between the Financial Times and the Weekly World News have received a curt "no comment" from both parties. |
04-12-2009, 02:03 PM | #5 |
Banned
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Flash - Dateline, London, 2012.
Zombies take over the world! After the recent mysterious plague wiped out 99% of the population, the recently dead have been reported to be rising from their graves and feasting upon the living. A recently departed citizen was quoted as saying: "Braaaaains....braaainsss...." |
04-12-2009, 02:37 PM | #6 |
MIA ... but returning som
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[additional information regarding zombie malady available]
Top journalist Brian MacBluehilt missing - MacBluehilt went missing shortly after he began his investigations covering the connections between World Streets Major Playor Xykon (Lich, unknown age) and the newly formed ZLF (Zomie Liberation Front). |
04-13-2009, 03:45 PM | #7 | |
aka coco jinlo
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Quote:
All air purifying efforts have failed. One of the few surviving non-zombie residents was quoted as saying: "This place stinks!" |
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04-15-2009, 03:39 PM | #8 |
Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah!
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Dateline 12/12/12
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04-15-2009, 03:57 PM | #9 |
Technogeezer
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Dateline 2020
The last physically published newspaper in the United States, The Wretched Mess News of West Yellowstone, has closed after 73 years of publication. Citing the cancellation of its last remaining advertisement for a ZCD drink mix, the WMN said it was considering starting an on-line edition but was unsure if the Internet fad would last long enough for them to realize this. |
04-15-2009, 04:04 PM | #10 |
Wizard
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Dateline 17/05/2024
US adopts correct date format ... admits error of ways. Says sorry for all the inconvenience caused. |
04-15-2009, 04:08 PM | #11 |
I'm Super Kindle-icious
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04-15-2009, 05:43 PM | #12 |
Technogeezer
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Dateline 2012
MobileRead poised to challenge Google for #1 Internet site. In a battle among titans, MobileRead and Google are within 1% of each other (with MobileRead leading Google in Europe.) The iRead site created after the merger of Amazon and Apple is still a distant third. |
04-15-2009, 06:04 PM | #13 |
Manic Do Fuse
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04-15-2009, 06:21 PM | #14 |
Sir Penguin of Edinburgh
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You are evil.
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