Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 439

Fbone · 05-27-2013, 01:16 PM

When I text someone and they don’t text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted from the excitement.

BenG · 05-28-2013, 08:29 AM

BenG · 05-28-2013, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

Enough jokes. Let's dance.

That made me think of the In Living Color MC Hammer parody.

steven522 · 05-28-2013, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BenG

"Also bought" should have peanut butter and sliced bread.

Fbone · 05-28-2013, 07:08 PM

My sarcasm is so advanced that people actually think I'm stupid.

Fbone · 05-29-2013, 01:37 PM

I just had a super busy day today converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.

Fbone · 05-30-2013, 01:48 PM

When I exercise, I wear all black. It’s like a funeral for my fat.

steven522 · 05-31-2013, 08:44 AM

My wife sent me to the store to buy a candle holder. I brought back a cake. I saw it as a win-win situation. We have a nice romantic candle-lit dinner, make a wish, and then have cake.

WT Sharpe · 05-31-2013, 09:49 AM

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

—Benny Hill

(This quote brought to you by the exciting iPhone and iPad game Cryptogram.)

steven522 · 05-31-2013, 12:18 PM

A friend of mine suggested I try out this new Mexican restaurant because they have excellent re-fried beans. If the bean re-fry is excellent, I wonder how good they are when they've only been fried once.

Fbone · 05-31-2013, 12:38 PM

When I was kid, I… No wait, I still do that.

Stitchawl · 05-31-2013, 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

When I was kid, I… No wait, I still do that.

Stitchawl

WT Sharpe · 06-01-2013, 10:27 AM

Two more quotes I came upon while playing games on my iPad. (FWIW, I've discovered that the quotes in this game, while fun to solve and read, are sometimes lacking in accuracy as regards sources. These quotes are "brought to you by the exciting iPhone and iPad game Cryptogram.")

Don't worry. Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep. In a giant blender.
—Homer Simpson

<><><>

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
—Ilie Nastase

Fbone · 06-01-2013, 04:16 PM

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Fbone · 06-02-2013, 05:24 PM

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

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05-27-2013, 01:16 PM	#6571
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	When I text someone and they don’t text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted from the excitement.

05-28-2013, 08:29 AM	#6572
BenG Home Guard Posts: 4,729 Karma: 86721650 Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Alpha Ralpha Boulevard Device: Kindle Oasis 3G, iPhone 6

05-28-2013, 07:08 PM	#6575
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	My sarcasm is so advanced that people actually think I'm stupid.

05-29-2013, 01:37 PM	#6576
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I just had a super busy day today converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.

05-30-2013, 01:48 PM	#6577
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	When I exercise, I wear all black. It’s like a funeral for my fat.

05-31-2013, 08:44 AM	#6578
steven522 binomial: homo legentem Posts: 1,061 Karma: 25222222 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Alabama, USA Device: iriver Story HD; Archos 80 G9	My wife sent me to the store to buy a candle holder. I brought back a cake. I saw it as a win-win situation. We have a nice romantic candle-lit dinner, make a wish, and then have cake.

05-31-2013, 09:49 AM	#6579
WT Sharpe Bah, humbug! Posts: 39,073 Karma: 157049943 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindle Oasis, iPad Pro, & a Samsung Galaxy S9.	Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect. —Benny Hill (This quote brought to you by the exciting iPhone and iPad game Cryptogram.)

05-31-2013, 12:18 PM	#6580
steven522 binomial: homo legentem Posts: 1,061 Karma: 25222222 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Alabama, USA Device: iriver Story HD; Archos 80 G9	A friend of mine suggested I try out this new Mexican restaurant because they have excellent re-fried beans. If the bean re-fry is excellent, I wonder how good they are when they've only been fried once.

05-31-2013, 12:38 PM	#6581
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	When I was kid, I… No wait, I still do that.

06-01-2013, 10:27 AM	#6583
WT Sharpe Bah, humbug! Posts: 39,073 Karma: 157049943 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindle Oasis, iPad Pro, & a Samsung Galaxy S9.	Two more quotes I came upon while playing games on my iPad. (FWIW, I've discovered that the quotes in this game, while fun to solve and read, are sometimes lacking in accuracy as regards sources. These quotes are "brought to you by the exciting iPhone and iPad game Cryptogram.") Don't worry. Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep. In a giant blender. —Homer Simpson <><><> I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. —Ilie Nastase

06-01-2013, 04:16 PM	#6584
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

06-02-2013, 05:24 PM	#6585
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.