04-27-2011, 01:03 PM | #1036 |
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Hi, All.
@crich70 The Horn Good story in this piece. Really nice word imagery and a nice flow, although; the rhythm of the couplets seemed a bit rough to me. Overall, though, a good read. I do agree with your comment concerning "expanding it to something larger". It certainly has the makings of becoming a great epic poem. Regards, Vandy |
04-27-2011, 05:04 PM | #1037 |
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On epic poems: http://listverse.com/2008/07/06/top-...st-epic-poems/
Epics aren't easy, the longest I've managed was 1,039 words, which I wrote as a story for a science class in college (yes, I got an A). And Vandy, thank you! Crich, I like it, but it feels choppy to me because of how it looks. The way it's separated on the page makes me lose the flow that would otherwise come natural to it. |
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04-27-2011, 07:08 PM | #1038 | |
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As an angsty teen I wrote so much poetry, but I never took any time to really learn much about it and although I studied literature, I can't recall much of the technicalities that we learned. Anyway, found my narrative poem. I attempted to improve on it a little, but what it really needs is a dozen more stanzas and a rework of the existing stanzas. I think I was 16 or 17 when I originally wrote this although the exact time is lost forever. BEOWULF The heated air was blasting Through the tangled shreds of hair That sat upon the thick skull And whipped throughout the lair. Around a hundred years of rest Had changed its appearance well But now it was time for thunder As it slowly rose from Hell. Up its claw was lifted And the wind increased to raging And its shrieks brought all hell's fury And foul spirits it was paging. A flash of lightening A roll of thunder The gale ascending A sound from under. Then from a distance Broke a ray of light That cut straight through the darkness And set it burning bright. The beast it howled in madness And again the wind increased But the lightning stopped together With the thunder that had ceased. The light began to flicker And fade in part as well But it did not dare to yield To this raging hound of Hell. The beast began to stagger And claw itself with dread But the light would show no mercy And the creature was soon dead. Regards Caleb |
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04-27-2011, 07:44 PM | #1039 |
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Wonderful!
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04-27-2011, 09:35 PM | #1040 |
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I like it Caleb, and I'd love to see a longer version if you ever edit it.
Some of the best poetry is written in those tumultuous years when emotion is overflowing. I was in 7th grade when I wrote the one I posted. |
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04-27-2011, 11:48 PM | #1041 |
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What started me off was a poetry contest in a newspaper when I was in college. No entrance fee, just a .25 stamp and a poem any style/subject. I wrote one titled "Cupid" which appeared in an anthology in 1993.
"Cupid" Cupid travels both far and wide, and from his arrows you cannot hide. Cupid's bow is small but strong, you may escape but not for long. His arrows never miss their aim, yet they never rend, tear, or maim. He is never seen but is always near, and weaves mans courage from his deepest fear. He is small in stature, but big in power, for in his presence love will flower. I favor the couplet format a bit. |
04-28-2011, 05:05 AM | #1042 |
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04-28-2011, 01:16 PM | #1043 |
...always be humble.
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@caleb72 Beowulf
Well told story with great word imagery. You can almost feel the beast's breath upon your neck. I really like the structure of your poem and your rhyming pattern is very nice. This is really an excellent piece! @crich70 Cupid Your couplets work beautifully in this poem. I absolutely LOVE the story you've told. Excellent word imagery -- great humor -- wonderful flow. Thank you for sharing thgis excellent poem. Regards, |
04-28-2011, 11:16 PM | #1044 | |
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You're welcome Vandy. Thanks again for the : GeoffC.
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05-02-2011, 12:29 PM | #1045 |
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The End of Something
Never is it good to celebrate death even that of a mortal enemy. Each life is precious - a fold in the fabric a fist raised against the uncaring universe. Kenny A. Chaffin – 5/2/2011 |
05-02-2011, 03:47 PM | #1046 |
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Interesting. I myself have the situation of dealing with 2 deaths at the moment. One more personal than the other. There is Bin Laden on the one side, and a neighbor who was a friend on the other. Both are sad in their own way. Bin Laden could have lived a far different life than he did and not have so many relieved that he's now gone. I miss my friend who hadn't hurt anyone (that I know of). Her death was natural so far as I know. Anyway I get what you mean in the poem I think GeoffC.
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05-02-2011, 04:17 PM | #1047 | |
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05-02-2011, 07:11 PM | #1048 | |
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Hmmm... I do understand that this is Kenny's piece. I completely understand the thoughts and reasoning behind this piece. Death is a tragedy and a certainly and cannot be undone. Nonetheless, I must say that my fist was raised today and my voice chanted, "USA!! USA!! USA!!" If that makes me a "bad person" or a "bloodthirsty beast", I can only say that the first blood was not drawn by me. Regards, |
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05-03-2011, 04:15 AM | #1049 |
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Ooops. Sorry about that. Didn't mean to mis-attribute the poem.
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05-03-2011, 06:19 AM | #1050 |
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