Unsure if I can come back

[Katti's Cat]

Well, I always hated doctors. I know my body pretty well so usually only end up with the doctors when something is wrong. Oh boy, did we mess up this time.

I got to ride in the big white donut on Monday and because it was inconclusive, they send me into the big humming drum as well (didn't care much for that and it took all my strength not to panic and jump up).

The results were in pretty much on Monday and discussed with the relevant surgeons late Monday. Looking a bit bleak atm and I am not a very happy camper.

The whole podding and prodding exhausted me a bit and I needed time to digest the news as well so I just sulked yesterday.

The theatre is booked for Thursday late afternoon - what happens afterwards I don't know. Anything is possible, the outcome range from 'she'll be fine' to 'have you made final arrangements yet?' . Tbh either end of the range is ok - well not really, i prefer the first statement by a mile. But I'm scared shitless of the comments between those 2. I could be a different person. Literally. The surgery has to be done as the impact of the space occupying mass is already felt by me (loosing vision in one eye, concentration problems, comprehension problems and other weird outcomes).

So, I have 2 days to get my stuff in order. Wonder if I should clean the house before I go in.

So, before they open my head and poke around and I forget all of you:

Thank you very much for the great times I had. Thank you for your company, laughs and fun. This is a great forum with lots of great members.

I sincerely hope I can come back. At this moment I am struggling with headaches and have problems concentrating. Stringing words together that make sense is an ordeal.

I have thought if I should actually post this but think it is unfair to those that have befriended me just to leave and maybe not come back.

Keep the good work up. Keep posting, arguing , teasing - I expect to have a lot to catch up when I am back.

At the moment I am writing instructions for MOTH to update you after the surgery. I don't think they will let me near a PC to do it myself. I am making myself little notes on post-it stickers so I can remember (if I need that) when I get back home. I also make a photoalbum of people important to me with names and so on. Might need that too. So much to do, so little time.

Ups, just reading back and realise I kinda forget telling you that they found multiple growth in my head (haha, teaches me not to joke about the big hollow). From the shape they expect them to be benign but due to size and/or location they still have to be removed.

So, that's it from my end. The latest news - wish I could have told you I found a job instead. But maybe that's next. I still have some pending applications out there. Hope I won't get an interview next week. I'm gonna be kinda indisposed. And BOLD. (and no, I won't post pictures of that - I am not pretty with hair so no hair won't be an improvement.

Oh yes, I do expect to be back - just not sure what or who I am going to be.

Hoovering over the submit button - should I really post this? Is it fair? Maybe I should just say 'good bye' and leave for a time. No, it took me ages to write this stuff so you can take the time and read it.

[Verencat]

I'm with you, I love you, I'm sending you all the positive thoughts, all the energy I can, we will all do it.

You will come back healthy, sweet, bright, funny, enthousiastic; the beautiful, wonderful woman that we love. With a wig, if you want to.

Hugs!

[happy_terd]

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers daily.

[SneakySnake]

Thanks for your post. It is brave to share such difficult news with others. I love talking to you via these fora.

I am sending you the biggest bunch of healavibes I can muster.

You may feel a bit strange for the first little while, but I am sure you will come back stronger than ever. I know you won't forget us, just as we will not forget you.

Now we know why you will be off the air for a while, we won't panic. At least now you really will have a big hollow in there. It will give you more space to develop your loving, joking and reading parts.

Good luck

I look forward to your return to MobileRead soon.

[jinlo]

You did the right thing by hitting the submit button.

You will receive prayers, hopes, hugs and well wishes. These things can't hurt, they can only help.

You have already shown great courage in posting what you have. Whatever may come to pass, I believe you have the strength to find the path that will bring you where you need to go.

[kennyc]

OMG. I'm sorry and Good LUCK! I'm sending my best good vibes!

I'm not sure exactly what they found....apparently a brain tumor?

This has gotten me a bit shaken up because I've been having headaches almost constantly since November....have actually been thinking I should go get it further checked out...

But Please stay in touch and tell us what you can and we will plan a big PARTY for you went you are back in the VERY NEAR FUTURE!

[WT Sharpe]

I'm sorry to hear of your physical problems. I really hope things go well and the surgery gets them all with no lingering after-effects.

I will keep you in my thoughts. I'm wishing the best outcome for you and hoping you will soon be back to full strength and back to posing. You're words here have always been a joy to read, and the the place won't be the same while you're gone.

[DixieGal]

Oh Honey! Tim and I will be praying for you. Please be okay. The support and prayers from you friends here at MR can work miracles.

[GraceKrispy]

Wow, and here I was thinking from the title that you're losing your internet.

We are all with you, and there is great mana (power) in numbers. Now that you did hit submit, you have the entire force of mr behind you (apparently, to cover up your backside in those embarassing gowns they put you in for their sick viewing pleasure).

We are here. We will wait for your return. You are not alone.

[lene1949]

So sorry to hear this... You must be terrified... I'll keep you in my prayers and sending positive vibes your way throughout Thursday and Friday.

Which hospital are you going to?

[GA Russell]

Best wishes, KC. I'll say a prayer for you tonight.

[Fat Abe]

Having been through hell, I'd say it ain't what it's cracked up to be. Think ahead, and after the procedure, rejoin this merry, nutty bunch. We're unforgettable, and so are you. Cats have 9 lives, and they always land on their feet.

[desertgrandma]

Oh damn and double damn KC. I'm (we're) all so sorry to hear this.

All possible prayers, good thoughts, karma and hopes coming your way.

even if you can't come back soon........come back when you can.

They didn't forget me, and they won't forget you.

We'll all be waiting.

I know.....I know, mixed parts of speech there. But you know what I mean.

[nomesque]

*hugggggggggggggs*

Thanks for letting us know, luv. We'll all be thinking of you and sending positive thoughts and prayers, and waiting to hear news.

It's a gobsmackingly shocking experience, isn't it? I had similar (less pronounced, just a '25% chance of death') situation when I had heart surgery.

DON'T clean the house before you go in. STUFF the house. Go out to dinner and have some fun if you can.

*hugs* Anything we can do? Are you still able to read? I'm sure I'm not the only one happy to drop you a free copy of an ebook...

[FizzyWater]

{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}