The Tale of the Spotted Dick Pudding - a Hugo & Lefty Adventure

[Mindy]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Wait, this isn't The Lounge. How did I get here?

Did it have something to do with a bush, a deflatable inflatable or the other staircase

[zelda_pinwheel]

...and are your shoes squelchy ?

[pshrynk]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Is that not most of the threads in The Lounge?

Wait, this isn't The Lounge. How did I get here?

You just showed up in a place that doesn't exist.


Which just goes to show you...

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

You just showed up in a place that doesn't exist.


Which just goes to show you...

That...I...don't exist? No?

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Chapter six, lovingly cooked in a secret cellar...

***

Sometime later, in a bedroom with wall paintings dating back to Tudor times, Hugo lounged on a bed. Lefty was draped mostly across the arm of a chair, in a position that looked mostly uncomfortable but which he maintained helped stretch him out to his full length.

“So” Hugo said, “a training exercise. I’m sick and tired of training exercises. I want to see some action again.”

“Hugo,” said Lefty, “we’re in a sleepy Sussex sillage, errr, village. We aren’t going to see any action.” Unlike Hugo, Lefty sounded quite pleased at this.

“We may as well have stayed in Paris for all the good this jaunt is going to do us”

“But… I can get some more postcards!” Lefty said, brightening even more.

Outside, the stairs creaked with the weight of someone walking up them. Hugo and Lefty glanced at each other, and fell silent. Footsteps fell in the corridor, pausing briefly outside their door, then carried on. Voices drifted up from outside, a background murmur in which the occasional sentence could be deciphered.

“Aww lookit that squirrel! It’s climbing up the drainpipe!”

Hugo and Lefty exchanged glances. Hugo wriggled his way under the duvet, and Lefty threw himself to the floor and squirmed under the chair. Seconds later, a small, grey furry face peered in through the window, then carried on up the drainpipe to floor above. Minutes passed. Hugo slipped up a little and peered towards the window. Seeing no squirrel, he coughed gently. Lefty pulled himself back up onto the chair, praising the forethought of the person who had completely covered the leg in grippy fabric.

The squirrel, meanwhile, satisfied with her reconnaissance, headed over the rooftops towards the alley. She perched on a roof, out of sight, but perfectly able to hear everything going on.

“You!” Janey exclaimed, mostly sounding pleased.

“Can’t stay for very long - training” He pulled a face. “But while I’m here… any chance of…?”

“I need to get some more underway - wait up here and have a cuppa.”

The squirrel smiled - this was the opportunity she’d been waiting for. The woman called Janey had her hair up in a bun, which was sitting on the top of her head, rather than the back. As the man turned his back, the squirrel dropped what looked like a small acorn. Perfectly aimed, it landed in the bun with just enough force to slip slightly under the hair, but gently enough that Janey didn’t feel a thing.

Janey went inside, and went down to the cellar where the famous family recipe was kept. She didn’t need to check it really, not after all this time, but if she didn’t follow the complete ritual, she was never satisfied it tasted as good. Having checked it, she set about preparing the next batch of spotted dick pudding. It was the only dish no-one else was allowed to make, and she had her own kitchen in the cellar especially for cooking it in. Once it was underway, she went back upstairs, and interrupted him mid-flirt with one of the waiters. She was about to say something when he pointed at her hair.

“You’ve got an acorn in your bun!” he exclaimed, and picked out out of her hair and threw it out the door.

The squirrel heaved a sigh of relief. She had been wondering how best to retrieve the acorn, and now some-one had done it for her. She shimmied down a drainpipe, skittered across the alleyway, picked up the acorn, and shot off.

Janey and the man watched. “It almost sounds like it’s laughing!” Janey said

[TallNHairyDave]

Soooo Hugo & Lefty were in the bag!

And the Squirrels are definately up to no good!

(And Yeti Pestering + cups of tea obviously work!)

[Patricia]

It's my experience that squirrels are never up to any good. Especially when armed with acorns.

Thanks, Am. Keep that tea flowing, Dave. We're all on tenterhooks and wouldn't want Am's creativity blocked.

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by TallNHairyDave

Soooo Hugo & Lefty were in the bag!

And the Squirrels are definately up to no good!

(And Yeti Pestering + cups of tea obviously work!)

tch. we should have guessed that, of course. poor lefty, never a dull moment eh ? when that's precisely what he'd love.

Originally Posted by Patricia

It's my experience that squirrels are never up to any good. Especially when armed with acorns.

you're probably right patricia. and i can't help thinking that acorn is not just an ordinary acorn, if you know what i mean. it's probably been retrofitted with a miniaturised spectrometre to analyse the recipe. or something.

Thanks, Am. Keep that tea flowing, Dave. We're all on tenterhooks and wouldn't want Am's creativity blocked.

yes please. and you let us know if your supplies run low, we'll load up the trebuchet. i could throw in a few pains aux raisins too if it would help. on second thought, better not ; they'd make the keyboard sticky and the crumbs would probably cause problems.

[TallNHairyDave]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

yes please. and you let us know if your supplies run low, we'll load up the trebuchet. i could throw in a few pains aux raisins too if it would help. on second thought, better not ; they'd make the keyboard sticky and the crumbs would probably cause problems.

I think she'd prefer a crossbreed of pain aux chocolat with croissant aux amandes if possible. They're a pain aux chocolat but with frangipane added in the middle as well as the chocolate and almonds on top as well! (Found them in a patisserie on Sunday and they're yummy!)

And if you could catapult over a couple of fougasse aux anchois for me that would be much appreciated! omnomnom

[zelda_pinwheel]

i'd think you'd have the same problem with crumbs in the keyboard with a pain aux amandes / chocolat... worse in fact, those things are notoriously flaky. but okay. and a few fougasses as well (anchovies ??? seriously ??? well, no accounting for taste, i suppose. )

[LazyScot]

Originally Posted by LazyScot

<picks up phone and dials top secret, ultra secure, yeti-phone number>

All those puns (well four) and not a single groan. Listen, if you don't at least groan, they'll just keep getting worse. And if you don't believe me, you can ask my Better Half. Or at least you can once she is released from the Comic Injuries ward of the local hospital having recovered from 3rd degree puns...

<wanders off muttering and chuntering to himself...>

Originally Posted by montsnmags

That...I...don't exist? No?

No, more that you shouldn't listen to the local barfly's recommendations that you'll have a good time if you quaff that bottle labelled "drink me" and go through a certain door....

Originally Posted by ShortNCuddlyAm

“Hugo,” said Lefty, “we’re in a sleepy Sussex sillage, errr, village. We aren’t going to see any action.” Unlike Hugo, Lefty sounded quite pleased at this.

Would the village be Little Nibbling, Swelling-on-the-Tum or Middle Spread?

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

i'd think you'd have the same problem with crumbs in the keyboard with a pain aux amandes / chocolat... worse in fact, those things are notoriously flaky. but okay. and a few fougasses as well (anchovies ??? seriously ??? well, no accounting for taste, i suppose. )

Isn't there a danger if Am gets all these pains you keep talking about she won't be able to write?

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by LazyScot

All those puns (well four) and not a single groan. Listen, if you don't at least groan, they'll just keep getting worse. And if you don't believe me, you can ask my Better Half. Or at least you can once she is released from the Comic Injuries ward of the local hospital having recovered from 3rd degree puns...

<wanders off muttering and chuntering to himself...>

i was groaning on the inside...

No, more that you shouldn't listen to the local barfly's recommendations that you'll have a good time if you quaff that bottle labelled "drink me" and go through a certain door....

that's probably true for all of us, don't you think ?

Would the village be Little Nibbling, Swelling-on-the-Tum or Middle Spread?

:groan: !!! (happy now ?)

Isn't there a danger if Am gets all these pains you keep talking about she won't be able to write?

they're not *debilitating* pains. usually. except possibly for keyboards.

...

hm. perhaps i should just eat them myself.

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by LazyScot

...
No, more that you shouldn't listen to the local barfly's recommendations that you'll have a good time if you quaff that bottle labelled "drink me" and go through a certain door....
...

I am the local barfly, not to mention the local barkeep, and I say that if you don't press the big red button that says, "DO NOT PRESS", nor drink the drink that specifically says "DRINK ME" (nor the food that says "EAT ME", though please take no notice of the t-shirts that do so), you'll never pass through the things between the things that are known and the things that are unknown. Eleventy to one, baby. One in eleventy. No one here gets out [something that rhymes with "eleventy" and means "alive"].

He he he..."spotted dick". Giggle.

Cheers,
Marc (The Loved One left his pajama bottoms undone)

[LazyScot]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

i was groaning on the inside...

Are you sure that wasn't your tummy contemplating Blue cheese and Garlic stuffed portebellini mushrooms, served with fruity, spiced moroccan-style couscous? Or perhaps roast vegetables served with pesto tossed riccioli and a glass of really smooth chianti riserva? Or a plate of fresh baked bread, unsalted butter, the finest cheeses served on a bed of ever-so lightly dressed frissee and a glass of just chilled chablis?

Originally Posted by montsnmags

I am the local barfly, not to mention the local barkeep, and I say that if you don't press the big red button that says, "DO NOT PRESS", nor drink the drink that specifically says "DRINK ME" (nor the food that says "EAT ME", though please take no notice of the t-shirts that do so), you'll never pass through the things between the things that are known and the things that are unknown. Eleventy to one, baby. One in eleventy. No one here gets out [something that rhymes with "eleventy" and means "alive"].

See? You should never trust the voices in your head.

Trust me.

I know wherewith I speak.

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by LazyScot

Are you sure that wasn't your tummy contemplating Blue cheese and Garlic stuffed portebellini mushrooms, served with fruity, spiced moroccan-style couscous? Or perhaps roast vegetables served with pesto tossed riccioli and a glass of really smooth chianti riserva? Or a plate of fresh baked bread, unsalted butter, the finest cheeses served on a bed of ever-so lightly dressed frissee and a glass of just chilled chablis?

oh my god, stop it !! my stomach is already digesting itself, that's how hungry i am, because i was working and lost track of time and now it's 11 and i still haven't had dinner yet (you knew that, didn't you ?), and now you go and describe something so mouthwateringly delicious i can't even imagine it, that's cruel, it really is.

i'm off to the kitchen now. at teh very least i've got some good wine.