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Old 07-12-2014, 11:48 PM   #7906
cromag
Surfin the alpha waves ~~
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WT Sharpe View Post
That they do! I remember one in Google maps that had you taking a left at some city in Europe and driving so many thousand miles until you came to a city in the United States. Perhaps someone can remember the exact starting and ending points that resulted in that beauty.
Don't know if it's the same thing, but several years back directions from my house to London had me taking I-78 into New York City, then driving across the Atlantic.
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Old 07-13-2014, 10:32 AM   #7907
Stitchawl
Opsimath
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Everyone seems to be in such a hurry
to scream 'prejudice' these days............

A customer asked, "In what aisle can I
find the Polish sausage?"

The clerk asks, "Are you Polish?"

The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes
I am. But let me ask you something.

If I had asked for Italian sausage,
would you ask me if I was Italian?

Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst,
would you ask me if I was German?

Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog
would you ask me if I was Jewish?

Or if I had asked for a Taco, would
you ask if I was Mexican?

Or if I asked for some Irish whiskey,
would you ask if I was Irish?"

The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't."

The guy says, "Well then, because I
asked for Polish sausage, why did you
ask me if I'm Polish?"

The clerk replied, "Because you're in
Home Depot.


Stitchawl
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Old 07-13-2014, 11:17 AM   #7908
orlok
Close to the Edit!
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Diet tip for today.........use superglue as lip gloss.
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Old 07-14-2014, 09:43 AM   #7909
PieMan597
Still a pie
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Late football (soccer for Americans) joke:

Q: How many goals can Germany score?
A: More than a Bazillion!!
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Old 07-14-2014, 02:02 PM   #7910
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PieMan597 View Post
Late football (soccer for Americans) joke:

Q: How many goals can Germany score?
A: More than a Bazillion!!
BRazillion.



Edited for related joke:


Donald Rumsfeld is giving President Bush his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Afghanistan."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "Just how big a number is a brazillion?"
Last edited by steven522; 07-14-2014 at 02:05 PM.
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Old 07-14-2014, 02:25 PM   #7911
PieMan597
Still a pie
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Quote:
Originally Posted by steven522 View Post
BRazillion.
Oops. Stinking keyboard!
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Old 07-15-2014, 02:52 AM   #7912
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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"I used to find buying books from Amazon slow and inconvenient, until one day the 
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Old 07-16-2014, 01:08 PM   #7913
guanaco
Recovering reader
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Who was the less guilty American president?
Lincoln, we was in a cent.
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Old 07-16-2014, 01:11 PM   #7914
guanaco
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Two old timers making romance.

Grandma: You are like a cell-phone.
Grandpa: Do you mean because I'm always ready?
Grandma: No, because you lose the signal inside the tunnel.
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Old 07-16-2014, 02:13 PM   #7915
steven522
binomial: homo legentem
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guanaco View Post
Two old timers making romance.
No. Just... no.
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Old 07-17-2014, 06:04 AM   #7916
missimpossible
Groupie
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A psychic gets a jumper for her birthday but takes it back to the shop. Why?

Spoiler:
Because it was a large and she was a medium.


Edit: it figures that my hundredth post would be a bad joke!
Last edited by missimpossible; 07-17-2014 at 06:37 AM.
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Old 07-18-2014, 10:07 PM   #7917
WT Sharpe
Bah, humbug!
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This made me smile (it's better than crying):
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Old 07-20-2014, 02:27 PM   #7918
PoP
 curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ
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A backward approach
^

More my observation than a joke:

I was reading this "DRM" sign backward¹ ...by the sound of it² it equally applies!




¹ Yes I sometimes do things like that.

² In popular canadian french (for people not easily offended):
Spoiler:
marde
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Old 07-21-2014, 07:41 AM   #7919
yvanleterrible
Reborn Paper User
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PoP View Post
^

More my observation than a joke:

I was reading this "DRM" sign backward¹ ...by the sound of it² it equally applies!




¹ Yes I sometimes do things like that.

² In popular canadian french (for people not easily offended):
Spoiler:
marde
On s'essuie et on r'commence...
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Old 07-21-2014, 07:24 PM   #7920
WT Sharpe
Bah, humbug!
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Here are a couple of Wizard of Oz cartoons I saw on Facebook today. The first may be a new one. I think the second's been around a while, but it's still funny.
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