need plotting help - children's story - Page 2

VydorScope · 04-24-2013, 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeccaPrice

definitely I want the theme of redemption. The amulet is heart-shaped, however, and I don't like the symbolism of a broken heart.

I'm thinking of a mutual defense pact.

Does it need to break? Selfless love could multiple instead of divide. Could have two hearts when your done.

crich70 · 04-24-2013, 10:05 PM

Maybe when the two groups have someone from their group both holding onto the amulet in peace something unexpected happens which banishes the threat from their world. Then group 1 no longer needs its powers and group 2 which depends upon it for life returns it to its proper place.

gmw · 04-25-2013, 07:40 AM

Been thinking about this some more. Break the amulet, so it seems that everyone will die - the story always has to look hopeless near the end. And then solve the problem with two working together somehow. I know you didn't like the idea of a broken heart, but the symbolism being (perhaps) that you can survive a broken heart however it feels at the time.

James_Wilde · 05-01-2013, 03:23 AM

One thought which strikes me: group 2 needs the amulet to stay alive. How come they didn't all die when the amulet was stolen and moved outside their country's boundaries?

I'm afraid that, without finding some way to clone the amulet, you've painted yourself into a corner with this one.

BeccaPrice · 05-01-2013, 08:21 AM

Group 2 are made out of stone (they're gargoyles, in fact), and the spell that allows them to live is slow to wear off.

crich70 · 05-01-2013, 04:19 PM

Have you considered telling the story from the point of view where a grandfather is explaining to his grandson how the gargoyles came to live in the same kingdom as the humans? Maybe the amulet's power is in the fact that it does keep the gargoyles alive and they are bound to serve whomever has it in their possession. Could even be a lead in to a longer story of how it is stolen by someone who wants to overthrow the rightful human leader and set themselves up in his/her place. And of course either the grandson or another boy/girl ends up going on a quest to retrieve it from the thief.

James_Wilde · 05-01-2013, 04:30 PM

I think Crich70 has given you a solution to this. They may live far apart in the beginning, but if one group moves to the other's country then both groups get the protection of the amulet.

BeccaPrice · 05-01-2013, 05:23 PM

So far, at least, the story is told in 3 parts: how the gargoyles came to be, the story of the human kingdom told from their point of view, and then the story continues told from the gargoyles' point of view.

I thought of having the gargoyles move to the human kingdom (and the story did evolve from my kids asking about gargoyles on buildings), but it seems to me that this would be rewarding the theft.

the point I wanted to get across, I guess, is that every fairy story of a handsome prince finding the magic amulet or whatever has another point of view. I guess my kids internalized that from other sources, because they're pretty good at the empathy bit.

Nancy Fulda · 05-06-2013, 04:47 AM

I like the idea of a mutual defense pact between the groups.

It's still kind of rewarding the theft, but you might be able to get around that if the Prince from Group 1, having realized the dire consequences his theft has caused, defies the wishes of his people by returning the amulet to Group 2. Group 2, in gratitude for this selfless act, falls upon Group 1's enemies.

BeccaPrice · 05-06-2013, 05:23 AM

That's pretty much the direction I'm going in, Nancy.

crich70 · 05-07-2013, 03:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nancy Fulda

I like the idea of a mutual defense pact between the groups.

It's still kind of rewarding the theft, but you might be able to get around that if the Prince from Group 1, having realized the dire consequences his theft has caused, defies the wishes of his people by returning the amulet to Group 2. Group 2, in gratitude for this selfless act, falls upon Group 1's enemies.

Sounds like a standard for Fairy Tale format. Someone/something does something that upsets the balance of things and someone (through an act of kindness or sacrifice) is rewarded by receiving aid that is required in order to set the situation to rights. Part of the rule of three. Two brothers in turn go on the quest and cause offense to another so they don't get the help and then the third brother goes on the same quest, does something to aid another (which the 1st two didn't) and gains the aid that he needed in order to triumph.

David Munch · 05-07-2013, 03:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aecardenas

I like that scenario. Or maybe the elder wizards or mages can find a way to impart or transfer the power of the amulet to a select group of individuals, perhaps a mixture of Group 1 and 2 beings--endowing them with special powers and abilities--making them sort of like Knights. Then these knights sort of operate as peacekeepers and guardians, who fight in defense of this new alliance against all manner of evil from within and without.

Prehaps group 1 somehow forces group 2 to help them defende themselves, as I kind of punishment for stealing. (Ie. just some morale on how stealing is bad, and there is consequences).

crich70 · 05-07-2013, 06:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by David Munch

Prehaps group 1 somehow forces group 2 to help them defende themselves, as I kind of punishment for stealing. (Ie. just some morale on how stealing is bad, and there is consequences).

Quote:

Group 1 need it to keep away enemies, group 2 need it to (literally) stay alive.

As I understand it someone from group 1 was the thief and Group 2 is the one that needs it to live. So group 2 wouldn't be punishing themselves for having had someone from Group 1 steal it.

Lemurion · 05-17-2013, 10:45 PM

Fairytale logic solution

Amulet transforms group 1 into Gargoyles, group 2 into humans. Group 1 is bound to the amulet for wanting it - group 2 is freed from needing it.

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04-24-2013, 10:05 PM	#17
crich70 Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,305 Karma: 43993832 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Monroe Wisconsin Device: K3, Kindle Paperwhite, Calibre, and Mobipocket for Pc (netbook)	Maybe when the two groups have someone from their group both holding onto the amulet in peace something unexpected happens which banishes the threat from their world. Then group 1 no longer needs its powers and group 2 which depends upon it for life returns it to its proper place.

04-25-2013, 07:40 AM	#18
gmw cacoethes scribendi Posts: 5,809 Karma: 137770742 Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Australia Device: Kobo Aura One & H2Ov2, Sony PRS-650	Been thinking about this some more. Break the amulet, so it seems that everyone will die - the story always has to look hopeless near the end. And then solve the problem with two working together somehow. I know you didn't like the idea of a broken heart, but the symbolism being (perhaps) that you can survive a broken heart however it feels at the time.

05-01-2013, 03:23 AM	#19
James_Wilde Guru Posts: 802 Karma: 4727110 Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Sweden Device: Iriver Story	One thought which strikes me: group 2 needs the amulet to stay alive. How come they didn't all die when the amulet was stolen and moved outside their country's boundaries? I'm afraid that, without finding some way to clone the amulet, you've painted yourself into a corner with this one.

05-01-2013, 08:21 AM	#20
BeccaPrice Wizard Posts: 2,145 Karma: 11174187 Join Date: Jan 2011 Device: Sony 350, K3-3G, K4SO, KPW	Group 2 are made out of stone (they're gargoyles, in fact), and the spell that allows them to live is slow to wear off.

05-01-2013, 04:19 PM	#21
crich70 Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,305 Karma: 43993832 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Monroe Wisconsin Device: K3, Kindle Paperwhite, Calibre, and Mobipocket for Pc (netbook)	Have you considered telling the story from the point of view where a grandfather is explaining to his grandson how the gargoyles came to live in the same kingdom as the humans? Maybe the amulet's power is in the fact that it does keep the gargoyles alive and they are bound to serve whomever has it in their possession. Could even be a lead in to a longer story of how it is stolen by someone who wants to overthrow the rightful human leader and set themselves up in his/her place. And of course either the grandson or another boy/girl ends up going on a quest to retrieve it from the thief.

05-01-2013, 04:30 PM	#22
James_Wilde Guru Posts: 802 Karma: 4727110 Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Sweden Device: Iriver Story	I think Crich70 has given you a solution to this. They may live far apart in the beginning, but if one group moves to the other's country then both groups get the protection of the amulet.

05-01-2013, 05:23 PM	#23
BeccaPrice Wizard Posts: 2,145 Karma: 11174187 Join Date: Jan 2011 Device: Sony 350, K3-3G, K4SO, KPW	So far, at least, the story is told in 3 parts: how the gargoyles came to be, the story of the human kingdom told from their point of view, and then the story continues told from the gargoyles' point of view. I thought of having the gargoyles move to the human kingdom (and the story did evolve from my kids asking about gargoyles on buildings), but it seems to me that this would be rewarding the theft. the point I wanted to get across, I guess, is that every fairy story of a handsome prince finding the magic amulet or whatever has another point of view. I guess my kids internalized that from other sources, because they're pretty good at the empathy bit.

05-06-2013, 04:47 AM	#24
Nancy Fulda I write stories. Posts: 700 Karma: 16437432 Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Northern Germany Device: kindle	I like the idea of a mutual defense pact between the groups. It's still kind of rewarding the theft, but you might be able to get around that if the Prince from Group 1, having realized the dire consequences his theft has caused, defies the wishes of his people by returning the amulet to Group 2. Group 2, in gratitude for this selfless act, falls upon Group 1's enemies.

05-06-2013, 05:23 AM	#25
BeccaPrice Wizard Posts: 2,145 Karma: 11174187 Join Date: Jan 2011 Device: Sony 350, K3-3G, K4SO, KPW	That's pretty much the direction I'm going in, Nancy.

05-17-2013, 10:45 PM	#29
Lemurion eReader Posts: 2,750 Karma: 4968470 Join Date: Aug 2007 Device: Note 5; PW3; Nook HD+; ChuWi Hi12; iPad	Fairytale logic solution Amulet transforms group 1 into Gargoyles, group 2 into humans. Group 1 is bound to the amulet for wanting it - group 2 is freed from needing it.