Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 355

Stitchawl · 09-04-2012, 07:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orlok

Like the new avatar Tom. Now all together..."Da dum te diddly dum ta dum, da dum te diddly dum ta dum, dum te dum dum, dum te dum dum..." etc.

Hey! You got that pretty spot on! I hadn't noticed Tom's new avatar, but recognized the tune immediately. Then I turned back a page to check! Well done!

Stitchawl

orlok · 09-04-2012, 07:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

Hey! You got that pretty spot on! I hadn't noticed Tom's new avatar, but recognized the tune immediately. Then I turned back a page to check! Well done!

Stitchawl

Just be glad you can't hear me vocalise it

Nexutix · 09-04-2012, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

Stitchawl

I love this one. It is not only funny, but I find it deeply meaningful.

Fbone · 09-04-2012, 10:45 PM

Sherlock Holmes and Watson were on a camping and hiking trip.
They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky.
Holmes said, "Watson, look up. What do you see?
"Well, I see thousands of stars."
And what does that mean to you?"
"Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?"
"To me, it means someone has stolen our tent."

Fbone · 09-06-2012, 03:11 AM

Sign at the Pavlov Institute: Knock, Please don't ring bell.

Fbone · 09-06-2012, 11:26 PM

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?"
Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

yvanleterrible · 09-07-2012, 05:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?"
Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

No wonder, it's the wrong question to ask...

Figlilly · 09-07-2012, 06:41 AM

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says,
"Hang on! You're a duck."

"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.

"And you can talk!"Exclaims the barman.

"I see your ears are working, too," Says the duck.

"Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly, sorry about that," Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint.

"It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub.. What are you doing round this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road," Explains the duck.

"I'm a plasterer."

The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.

So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.

The same thing happens for two weeks.

Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him

"You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"

"Sounds marvellous,"says the ringmaster, handing over his business card.

"Get him to give me a call."

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says,

"Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."

"I'm always looking for the next job,"

Says the duck.

"Where is it?"

"At the circus," Says the barman.

"The circus?" Repeats the duck.

"That's right," Replies the barman.

"The circus?" The duck asks again “with the big tent?"

"Yeah," the barman replies.

"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck.

"Of course," the barman replies.

"And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck.

"That's right!" says the barman.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says .. .
"Whatever would they want with a plasterer??!"

Fbone · 09-07-2012, 08:48 PM

When the Jones family moved into their new house, a visiting relative asked five-year-old Sammy how he liked the new place.
"It's terrific," he said. "I have my own room, Mike has his own room, and Jamie has her own room. But poor mom is still in with dad."

Nexutix · 09-08-2012, 12:05 AM

Stitchawl · 09-08-2012, 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nexutix

Simply brilliant!

Stitchawl

orlok · 09-08-2012, 05:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nexutix

orlok · 09-08-2012, 06:13 AM

- I never polish my mirror, which reflects badly on me.

- My doctor has given me some anti-gloating cream. Now all I want to do is rub it in.

Fbone · 09-08-2012, 03:54 PM

When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

amward · 09-09-2012, 06:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nexutix

Fantastic, made me laugh out loud!

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Add from the Mobile Read Library?	danwdoo	Calibre	8	12-03-2014 06:03 PM
Good Day Eh!! :-)	Gedvondur	Introduce Yourself	12	07-22-2010 12:16 AM
Classic Is there a way to lighten the background?	rlsamson	Barnes & Noble NOOK	3	06-30-2010 04:56 PM
Read-in-Microsoft-Reader 1.1.3 add-in released	Alexander Turcic	Reading and Management	2	02-20-2006 03:47 AM

09-04-2012, 10:45 PM	#5314
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Sherlock Holmes and Watson were on a camping and hiking trip. They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky. Holmes said, "Watson, look up. What do you see? "Well, I see thousands of stars." And what does that mean to you?" "Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?" "To me, it means someone has stolen our tent."

09-06-2012, 03:11 AM	#5315
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Sign at the Pavlov Institute: Knock, Please don't ring bell.

09-06-2012, 11:26 PM	#5316
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

09-07-2012, 06:41 AM	#5318
Figlilly Zealot Posts: 122 Karma: 2514066 Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Australia Device: Kindle Oasis 2&3, Paperwhites, Kindle Touch, Kobo Clara, IPad Air2	A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck." "I see your eyes are working," replies the duck. "And you can talk!"Exclaims the barman. "I see your ears are working, too," Says the duck. "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?" "Certainly, sorry about that," Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint. "It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub.. What are you doing round this way?" "I'm working on the building site across the road," Explains the duck. "I'm a plasterer." The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it. So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves. The same thing happens for two weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him "You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!" "Sounds marvellous,"says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. "Get him to give me a call." So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money." "I'm always looking for the next job," Says the duck. "Where is it?" "At the circus," Says the barman. "The circus?" Repeats the duck. "That's right," Replies the barman. "The circus?" The duck asks again “with the big tent?" "Yeah," the barman replies. "With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck. "Of course," the barman replies. "And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck. "That's right!" says the barman. The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says .. . "Whatever would they want with a plasterer??!"

09-07-2012, 08:48 PM	#5319
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	When the Jones family moved into their new house, a visiting relative asked five-year-old Sammy how he liked the new place. "It's terrific," he said. "I have my own room, Mike has his own room, and Jamie has her own room. But poor mom is still in with dad."

09-08-2012, 12:05 AM	#5320
Nexutix Reading and reading Posts: 582 Karma: 8250144 Join Date: Oct 2010 Device: Infibeam Pi, iPod Touch 4G, iPad Air 2, iPad mini 2, Oneplus One

09-08-2012, 06:13 AM	#5323
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	- I never polish my mirror, which reflects badly on me. - My doctor has given me some anti-gloating cream. Now all I want to do is rub it in.

09-08-2012, 03:54 PM	#5324
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.