Humor Stone, Barney: Love Letters of a Rookie to Julie (illustrated). v1. 09 August 2012

[GrannyGrump]

First published 1919.

Possibly attempting to ride on the coattails of Edward Streeter’s best-selling “Dere Mable,” this is another collection of letters from an Army rookie to his sweetheart. The correspondent is again a simple soldier, using minimal punctuation and imaginative spelling, but somewhat better-educated than was Mable’s Bill, so this book is less of an exercise in “reading in dialect.” The wise-cracking Barney is purposefully humorous, and will treat the reader to a goodly number of chuckles. 21 full-page cartoon illustrations enhance the text. Warning—there are several uses of racially derogatory terms.

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An excerpt:

Big day for us; we got our new soldier scenery—a complete set from kicks to skypieces. Did you ever see a feather bed with a string tied around the middle, or a bale of hay with the middle hoop busted? That’s what my appollonnaris form looks like now draped in the togs handed me by the “land of the free and the home of the brave.” The pants must have been cut out with a circular saw for a bow-legged simp. I have to use a compass to find out which direction I’m going, and believe you me when I caught sight of “yours truly” in a mirror I looked like the end of a load of wood and just as handsome.

These clothes remind me of the tailors sign on yur block, “A. LEVINSKY, FIRST CLASS TAILOR. Wear a suit of our clothes and you will have a fit.” I am liable to have several fits before I get acquainted with ’em. If I could rent out the extra room, I could buy “makins” for a month. They call ’em fatigue uniforms, and believe you me they called ’em right — one look at ’em makes you tired. The only things that fit are the hat cord and collar ornaments.

You know how it is with me Julie nothing ready made fits me but a hanky.

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I Googled and I Yahooed and I even Binged -- no biographical information found, so I had to assume this is public domain only in the USA. If anyone has information, please let me know.

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