"The Second Book of Memorable First Sentences From Books That Don't Exist"

[Dr. Drib]

We all are waiting breathlessly for your contribution.

In the meantime, there is this:

Let us introduce our characters, then, as they stand fortuitously grouped in front of a large mirror so that we may describe them before proceeding with our story: First, choleric Charles Cavendish, he of the overly large posterior; second, the Lady Harleigh, she of the heaving bosoms; third, Lord Charles Michel, he of the protuberant lips; fifth – I mean fourth – Charles Cavendish, he of the large earlobes - wait, that can’t be right; let me check my notes and see if that’s correct: OK, now to proceed with this opening sentence of my novel as we examine the fifth character (but rest assured there will be more later on, just as soon as I can locate another large mirror): his Lordship Charles Leonardo, a porcine, whimpering fool who, even now, bends to kiss the delicately-veined hand of Lady Harleigh who cringes at the touch of his overly-moist lips that move across her fingers like little caterpillars in search of food.



Dr. Drib

[gmw]

Prominent possible Presidential prospect, Peter Perseus Piper, picked plush paper-pushing Pam Perpetua Poppy primarily proprosing perambulating past perservering pear packer picketers prior pondering poor planned paprika picnics, pitilessly proscribing pathetic papist paparazzi participation.

[crich70]

The young woman in my office had a buttery voice that made me wish for a stack of pancakes with maple syrup on the side.

[Dr. Drib]

She had the kind of face that looked best on a place mat, so I put my plate of liverwurst on it.



Dr. Drib

[5thWiggle]

The world's best and brightest minds where extingushed that day, when the Alien's mind probe stuffed their cortexes with knowledge esoteric, leaving the rest of us to exclaim "Derp!"

[5thWiggle]

She had a face like the Christmas sweater great aunt Enid once knitted me: baggy, ill-coloured, and something to put it in a dark cupboard to forget about.

[Dr. Drib]

Hey! Where are the writers? Are there any writers on MobileRead?


He had the kind of face that would look good on an orangutan, she thought dreamily, as she stood in front of the zoo’s entrance to the Orangutan compound and pondered the vicissitudes of life and whether or not she should buy him a bottle of hair-removal cream.



Dr. Drib

[Prestidigitweeze]

Damn those modernists and their idiosyncratic formatting of dialogue, she italicized.

[Prestidigitweeze]

"As a man who eschews demonic hyphenation," the evangelical lawyer shouted at the opposing counsel, "I'm offended by your Cross reference!"

[Namekuseijin]

As she lit up the cigarrete, moonshine strummed her hair, and a gentle spiral of smoke rose in glissandi...

[5thWiggle]

After placing a decrepit cardboard box of detacted body parts on my desk, the zombie waved the stump of his arm at me and intoned lugubriously, "I need you to find out who else has a hand in this mess."

[PeterT]

I'm sure you've seen these --> http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/33-hi...-need-to-read/

[Dr. Drib]

Originally Posted by PeterT

I'm sure you've seen these --> http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/33-hi...-need-to-read/

Oh, yes, the "Bulwer-Lytton Prize" contest. I'm familiar with this.

I bought those books about 20 or so years ago and still have them. They're great and worth searching for. (I haven't checked to see if they're available as ebooks.)



Don

[Dr. Drib]

Originally Posted by 5thWiggle

After placing a decrepit cardboard box of detacted body parts on my desk, the zombie waved the stump of his arm at me and intoned lugubriously, "I need you to find out who else has a hand in this mess."

Great!



Don

[crich70]

The wizened old wizard sat by his cauldron working on a potion that he was sure was to work wonders of magic undreamed of by any since the time of Merlin.