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Old 03-08-2013, 02:39 PM   #6211
din155
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With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, “The word should be celebRate!”
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Old 03-08-2013, 03:46 PM   #6212
steven522
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My bed gets mysteriously more comfortable in the morning… anybody else?
That narrow space under your bed is not too bad...
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Old 03-08-2013, 05:40 PM   #6213
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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95% of the ocean remains unexplored and you're telling me mermaids don't exist?
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Old 03-08-2013, 06:31 PM   #6214
Stitchawl
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95% of the ocean remains unexplored and you're telling me mermaids don't exist?
I spend a LOT of time exploring the undersea world, and I know for a fact that mermaids DO exist! I married one!


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Old 03-08-2013, 07:48 PM   #6215
WT Sharpe
Bah, humbug!
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Three surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on, the first surgeon said, "Electricians are the best, everything inside is color coded." The second surgeon says, "No, Librarians are, everything inside them is in alphabetical order." The third surgeon shut them both up with: "You're all wrong, politicians are the easiest to operate on, there's no guts, no heart, no brains, and no spine. Plus the head and the tail end are interchangeable."

Last edited by WT Sharpe; 03-10-2013 at 09:50 AM.
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Old 03-09-2013, 06:36 AM   #6216
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Why did the chicken commit suicide?

To get to the other side

Last edited by orlok; 03-09-2013 at 06:39 AM.
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Old 03-09-2013, 08:30 AM   #6217
Stitchawl
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Originally Posted by orlok View Post
Why did the chicken commit suicide?

To get to the other side

We are beginning to worry about you. Is there reason we should be concerned?


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Old 03-09-2013, 09:23 AM   #6218
orlok
Close to the Edit!
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Roses are red, violets are blue
I've got Alzheimer's
Cheese on toast

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We are beginning to worry about you. Is there reason we should be concerned?


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What makes you say that?
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Old 03-09-2013, 03:25 PM   #6219
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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Everything is so much funnier when you’re not allowed to laugh.
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Old 03-09-2013, 05:24 PM   #6220
yvanleterrible
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For that reason Church has always been a killer for me!
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Old 03-09-2013, 11:31 PM   #6221
WT Sharpe
Bah, humbug!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by orlok View Post
Why did the chicken commit suicide?

To get to the other side
That's sick, depraved, and oddly, I have the strangest urge to run out and tell it to the first person I meet.
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Old 03-10-2013, 03:44 PM   #6222
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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My mother thinks my friends are bad influences. But honestly, I’m usually the one coming up with the ideas.
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Old 03-10-2013, 10:20 PM   #6223
Freeshadow
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Our library now offers "suicide for dummies" in ebook edition only. The return rate of the printed edition sucked.
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Old 03-11-2013, 06:25 AM   #6224
Chi Cygni
秋子 permanently lurking
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Oh! and here's one i prepared earlier.
Those cooking shows are full of . . . well, you know.
How come they can chop, slice, dice, cube and grate onions and not once, have I seen any of the dozens of celebrity chefs shed one single tear.
And how come in any washing powder/liquid advert when the woman pulls out a shirt out of washing machine the thing is already a) dry b) IRONED
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Old 03-11-2013, 12:55 PM   #6225
MJK2111
FUBAR!
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And how come in any washing powder/liquid advert when the woman pulls out a shirt out of washing machine the thing is already a) dry b) IRONED
She's had lots of practice?
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