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View Poll Results: Who pays after the first date if both make about the same money?
The man pays for all dates. 19 22.89%
Whoever asks for the date pays. 37 44.58%
The man and woman split the tab evenly. 19 22.89%
The woman pays less than half the bill (such as paying for the tip). 6 7.23%
The woman pays for all dates. 2 2.41%
Voters: 83. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-08-2009, 07:17 PM   #1
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Who pays after the first date if both make about the same money?
Confusing question that deserves a poll...
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Old 06-08-2009, 07:24 PM   #2
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whoever does the inviting
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Old 06-08-2009, 07:25 PM   #3
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Are you youngsters STILL arguing about this?

I remember the same discussions back in the 70's......

Personally, if a man invites me out for a meal, he can pay.

(and for my husband, too! )
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Old 06-08-2009, 07:30 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by desertgrandma View Post
Are you youngsters STILL arguing about this?

I remember the same discussions back in the 70's......

Personally, if a man invites me out for a meal, he can pay.

(and for my husband, too! )
Right. The man is expected to:

come up with the date
ask her out
pick her up
pay
take her back home.

But she's nobody's property!
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Old 06-08-2009, 07:31 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no.guru View Post
Right. The man is expected to:

come up with the date
ask her out
pick her up
pay
take her back home.

But she's nobody's property!
Frickin' A. You got a problem with this?
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Old 06-08-2009, 07:34 PM   #6
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Frickin' A. You got a problem with this?
I'll be nebulously diplomatic and say it depends on the woman.
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Old 06-08-2009, 07:36 PM   #7
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Quote:
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I'll be nebulously diplomatic and say it depends on the woman.
Seriously, I think things would go a lot smoother if the two could just agree to go 'dutch'.

No expectations, no pressure.
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Old 06-08-2009, 07:40 PM   #8
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My girlfriend and I alternate paying.
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Old 06-08-2009, 07:41 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by desertgrandma View Post
Seriously, I think things would go a lot smoother if the two could just agree to go 'dutch'.

No expectations, no pressure.
Really, I think that happens often these days.
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Old 06-08-2009, 07:42 PM   #10
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I go dutch on the 1st date just in case im with someone too.... "friendly" After that all generosity will be welcome with a "thank you."

Quote:
Originally Posted by no.guru View Post
Right. The man is expected to:

come up with the date
ask her out
pick her up
pay
take her back home.

But she's nobody's property!
That's the way it is... and if your cheap or ask for half the bill.... Expect to be torn in half the minute the girl has the opportunity to call a friend.

Seems out dated now... but instincitvely you guys are the providers...
So go on...
provide...
get with it!
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Old 06-08-2009, 07:56 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by Gideon View Post
My girlfriend and I alternate paying.
I'd say first date both pay equal shares, than alternate. I'm not comfortable letting a guy pay when I might choose to never see him again. I'd feel too bad saying no to a second date if the guy paid everything.


Re-read that - let's make it clearer, shall we?
No I'm not that easy, I will say no if I want to say no, but it bugs me less if I don't feel I owe him something. Better?
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Old 06-08-2009, 07:59 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphapheemail View Post
I go dutch on the 1st date just in case im with someone too.... "friendly".
Definitely.

After that it depends - kind of whoever does the inviting or taking it in turns, or sharing expenses (eg you pay for tickets I'll pay for drinks) or whatever.

This does avoid the feeling that someone is paying for you to spend time with them, but also seems only fair to me, as if we both have jobs, why not both contribute? I would certainly never assume that someone else would always pay for me. Also, if they offer then I don't want someone I like to think I'm taking advantage.

I always think that if I enjoy being taken out sometimes, then other people will enjoy it if I do that for them!
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Old 06-08-2009, 08:06 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by ruth1304 View Post
Definitely.

After that it depends - kind of whoever does the inviting or taking it in turns, or sharing expenses (eg you pay for tickets I'll pay for drinks) or whatever.

This does avoid the feeling that someone is paying for you to spend time with them, but also seems only fair to me, as if we both have jobs, why not both contribute? I would certainly never assume that someone else would always pay for me. Also, if they offer then I don't want someone I like to think I'm taking advantage.

I always think that if I enjoy being taken out sometimes, then other people will enjoy it if I do that for them!
See, I didn't know what going dutch meant!
You explain things in such a better way than me!
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Old 06-08-2009, 08:16 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphapheemail View Post
I go dutch on the 1st date just in case im with someone too.... "friendly" After that all generosity will be welcome with a "thank you."



That's the way it is... and if your cheap or ask for half the bill.... Expect to be torn in half the minute the girl has the opportunity to call a friend.

Seems out dated now... but instincitvely you guys are the providers...
So go on...
provide...
get with it!
Ruth explains the way it happens for me. If you think women are the only ones doing the rejecting .. <ahem>.
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Old 06-08-2009, 08:44 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by no.guru View Post
Ruth explains the way it happens for me. If you think women are the only ones doing the rejecting .. <ahem>.
Ok, maybe I did not elaborate sufficiently, it is not expected of men to pay, it is nice and women do like it. We are more conscious of the fact that the times have changed and how hoard money is earned. We do offer to pay and sometimes its taken and sometimes its not. When it is expected that the girl chips in that's when its a turn off, same way when the girl stands to go to the ladies room the minute she spies the check coming. There is something nostalgic, chivalrous and romantic when a guy says "Don't worry about it babe, I'm taking care of it."
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