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Old 01-05-2009, 05:57 AM   #16
Sparrow
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Two aerials met and fell in love; the wedding was rubbish, but the reception was brilliant.
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Old 01-05-2009, 06:13 AM   #17
Over
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(Sorry my english )

A dwarf enters in a public WC to urinate. At the same time, a 6'2" tall guy enters the WC and starts urinating next to the dwarf. The tall guy has a facial tic: he is always blinking his eyes, fast. The dwarf starts blinking a lot too. The tall guy says:

- Are you making fun of me?!
- No, no, no. You're sprinkling me! - said the dwarf.
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Old 01-05-2009, 12:26 PM   #18
zelda_pinwheel
zeldinha zippy zeldissima
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sparrow View Post
Two aerials met and fell in love; the wedding was rubbish, but the reception was brilliant.
aarg !!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wetdogeared View Post
The six phases of work.
paaa hahaha !!! phase six is brilliant !!! i think that's the phase i'm usually in.
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Old 01-05-2009, 12:53 PM   #19
Wetdogeared
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Take a minute to check your health.

Quick medical test here.
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Old 01-05-2009, 01:10 PM   #20
zelda_pinwheel
zeldinha zippy zeldissima
zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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"cat scans", pffff... :extremerolleyesoftheunmitigatedsilliness:
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Old 01-05-2009, 01:52 PM   #21
pshrynk
Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RickyMaveety View Post
Loved the Green Bay jokes, hate (hate, hate) blond jokes generally and on principle (being a person of that persuasion naturally), loved the religious jokes.

Sad thing is, I probably won't remember most of them. I have a bad memory for jokes.
The perfect joke that nearly got me killed:

My wife (blonde) comes home all excited.

"I've got a new shampoo! It's called 'Blonde!'"

"Easy open cap?" says I...
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Old 01-05-2009, 01:53 PM   #22
zelda_pinwheel
zeldinha zippy zeldissima
zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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pffff !!!
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Old 01-05-2009, 01:59 PM   #23
nrapallo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel View Post
pffff !!!
One of the most popular comebacks... 194 times thus far ...

p.s. does this link work? EDIT: link no longer works!

Last edited by nrapallo; 01-07-2009 at 09:53 AM.
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Old 01-05-2009, 02:02 PM   #24
Wetdogeared
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nrapallo View Post
One of the most popular comebacks... 194 times thus far ...

p.s. does this link work?
Statisticians can be funny, and yes the link worked.
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Old 01-05-2009, 02:06 PM   #25
zelda_pinwheel
zeldinha zippy zeldissima
zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nrapallo View Post
One of the most popular comebacks... 194 times thus far ...
pfff !

(spéciale dédicace )
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Old 01-07-2009, 09:30 AM   #26
RWood
Technogeezer
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The three phases of getting additional people at work as applied to Zelda:

1. Get me someone just like Zelda.
2. Get me a young Zelda.
3. Zelda who?
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Old 01-07-2009, 11:14 AM   #27
Over
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Two baloons in a desert:
- Be careful with the cactussssssshhhhhhhh!
- What cactusssssshhhhhhhh?
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Old 01-07-2009, 11:56 AM   #28
rebarnmom
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One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

The woman said: "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
The officer replied: "Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,"says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the Game Warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment," the woman said in reponse.

So, the Game Warden said: "Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL :
Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think!
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Old 01-07-2009, 12:02 PM   #29
zelda_pinwheel
zeldinha zippy zeldissima
zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rebarnmom View Post
One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

The woman said: "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
The officer replied: "Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,"says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the Game Warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment," the woman said in reponse.

So, the Game Warden said: "Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL :
Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think!
brilliant !! absolutely brilliant !!
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Old 01-07-2009, 12:03 PM   #30
rebarnmom
Wizard
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A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race appear?'

The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made.'

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.

The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'

The mother answered, 'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.'
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