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Old 09-04-2013, 10:23 PM   #7006
WT Sharpe
Bah, humbug!
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From an ancient Dennis the Menace cartoon those last comments jarred loose from my memory:

Dennis to a hot dog vendor: "I want everything on my hot dog...including a hamburger!"
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Old 09-05-2013, 10:24 AM   #7007
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Guru
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HomeInMyShoes View Post
This post will probably result in a forum banning:


I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

And, sometimes I think I am in Vincible but life shows me I am not!
That reminds me of my love life...

Back when I was in Nocent, I was looking for good nice girls, but that's was boring.

In my thirties I was in Terested, and I was looking for a rich wife... No luck, though...

After a while, I've been in Genious: I had my best pick up lines, there...

Now I'm in Telligent: I just go after big boobs, and I'm happy!
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Old 09-05-2013, 05:37 PM   #7008
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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That was smooth.
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Old 09-06-2013, 07:38 PM   #7009
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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Citizens of earth unite!
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Old 09-07-2013, 07:24 PM   #7010
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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If this is real, it must be a record.
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Old 09-07-2013, 08:39 PM   #7011
Kumabjorn
Basculocolpic
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fbone View Post
If this is real, it must be a record.
According to the article the women were all impregnated at his bachelor party, needless to say the wedding was cancelled.
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Old 09-07-2013, 08:55 PM   #7012
pilotbob
Grand Sorcerer
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumabjorn View Post
According to the article the women were all impregnated at his bachelor party, needless to say the wedding was cancelled.
4 times during one party... you've gotta admire his stamina.

BOb
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Old 09-07-2013, 10:16 PM   #7013
Kumabjorn
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pilotbob View Post
4 times during one party... you've gotta admire his stamina.

BOb
He lives up on the dark cold north of Sweden, I once encountered a 19 year old from that region who had six children with four different women.
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Old 09-07-2013, 11:22 PM   #7014
WT Sharpe
Bah, humbug!
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I do hope Tapatalk uploads this as an attachment.
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version Name: ImageUploadedByTapatalkHD1378610530.053594.jpg Views: 140 Size: 68.4 KB ID: 110559  
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Old 09-09-2013, 03:22 AM   #7015
Stitchawl
Opsimath
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The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!
Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.


Stitchawl
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Old 09-09-2013, 06:53 AM   #7016
yvanleterrible
Reborn Paper User
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What a horror story! Please don't do that again, I'm nearing that period of life and this story definitely robs my appetite to go on... Yuck!
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Old 09-09-2013, 07:45 AM   #7017
orlok
Close to the Edit!
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Ortographobia - the fear of spellign mistakes.
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Old 09-09-2013, 08:38 AM   #7018
Kumabjorn
Basculocolpic
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Ortographobia - the fear of spellign mistakes.
Wouldn't that actually be the fear of writing?
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Old 09-09-2013, 01:13 PM   #7019
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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Young teenage boys understand priorities.
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Old 09-09-2013, 04:30 PM   #7020
Grace Elliot
Groupie
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Young teenage boys understand priorities.
Bless!
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