Unutterably Silly Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day

[WT Sharpe]

I always proofread what I post, but the problem is that my brain reads what I intended to write. An error may not be apparent to me until days after I have posted it for the world to see.

[orlok]

Have you heard about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu; you just get what you deserve.

[yvanleterrible]

Originally Posted by orlok

Have you heard about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu; you just get what you deserve.

Perfect restaurant for love handles...

[wodin]

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

I always proofread what I post, but the problem is that my brain reads what I intended to write. An error may not be apparent to me until days after I have posted it for the world to see.

Yup, and by then it's been quoted dozens of times errors included, so it's too late to edit it.

[Bookpossum]

On the brink

[PieMan597]

What did Tom get when he put Jerry in the fridge?
Mice cubes.

[Bookpossum]

Groan!

[orlok]

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: It's triplets.
Ugly: You had a vasectomy 5 years ago.

Good: Your son is finally maturing.
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.
Ugly: So are you.

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly: You're in them.

Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly: He looks better than you.

Good: You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter.
Bad: She keeps interrupting.
Ugly: With corrections

[KenMagee]

Originally Posted by orlok

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Good: Your son is finally maturing.
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.
Ugly: So are you.

Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly: He looks better than you.

I particularly liked these two.

[orlok]

I've just got my son a flat piece of cardboard for his Birthday.

Although what the daft lad wants with an ex-box I'll never know.

[PoP]

My mother always listened to Edit Piaf's "La vie en rose".

My father? He was more jazzy, and always had the Blues.

Guess that explains why I like the "Deep Purples"

[PoP]

Once upon a time, there was a woman working at a lingerie counter, and a customer came to the counter with a pair of frilly panties and said she'd like to buy them, adding, "but only if you can embroider `If you can read this, you're too close.' on the back."

So, the saleswoman took the panties to the tailor in back, and described the rather unusual request.

The tailor said, "Well, she sounds like a stick in the mud, but I can do that. Does she want block letters or script?"

Since the saleswoman didn't know, she went back around to the counter, and asked, "do you want that in block letters or script?"

The customer replied, in "Braille please."







(found on trusty old RHF)

[orlok]

A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the child asked for cookies and her mother told her "no." The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, "Now Ellen, we just have half of the aisles left to go through; don't be upset. It won't be long."

He passed the Mother again in the candy aisle. Of course, the little girl began to shout for candy. When she was told she couldn't have any, she began to cry. The mother said, "There, there, Ellen, don't cry. Only two more aisles to go, and then we'll be checking out."

The man again happened to be behind the pair at the check-out, where the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there would be no gum purchased today. The mother patiently said, "Ellen, we'll be through this check out stand in five minutes, and then you can go home and have a nice nap."

The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. "I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Ellen."

The mother was silent for a moment, then said, "I'm Ellen."

[orlok]

[yvanleterrible]

Learning correct orthography is a good idea...