Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 543

crich70 · 10-23-2014, 06:05 PM

Hmm. I wonder if she gets frequent flyer miles with that thing.

Glorfindel · 10-24-2014, 02:25 PM

LOL

PoP · 10-26-2014, 09:38 AM

Adoby · 10-26-2014, 12:30 PM

Knowlegde is Power!

Freeshadow · 10-26-2014, 08:25 PM

Is that an orthographitti?

PoP · 10-27-2014, 07:17 AM

^ +1

... and probably a teacher feeling graffitified after her deed.

orlok · 10-28-2014, 07:17 AM

"Time is a construct of man, a means of adding value and structure to a chaotic universe, it serves no real purpose, it's endless and infinite, unfathomable and subjective."

"That may very well be true, but you're still late for work," replied my boss.

steven522 · 10-29-2014, 11:30 AM

A man receives a phone call from his doctor late one evening...

Doctor: "I got your test results back. I have some good news and some bad news."
Man: "What's the good news?"
Doctor: "You have less than 24 hours left to live."
Man: "What?!!! Then what's the bad news?"
Doctor: "I was supposed to call you first thing this morning."

The man then runs to his wife...

Man: "I only have a few hours left to live. I want to spend those last hours making love to you for the rest of the night."
Wife: "That's easy for you to say, you don't have to get up in the morning."

MJK2111 · 10-29-2014, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adoby

Knowlegde is Power!

"Knowledge is good"

Emil Faber

pilotbob · 10-29-2014, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by steven522

A man receives a phone call from his doctor late one evening...

Doctor: "I got your test results back. I have some good news and some bad news."
Man: "What's the good news?"
Doctor: "You have less than 24 hours left to live."
Man: "What?!!! Then what's the bad news?"
Doctor: "I was supposed to call you first thing this morning."

The man then runs to his wife...

Man: "I only have a few hours left to live. I want to spend those last hours making love to you for the rest of the night."
Wife: "That's easy for you to say, you don't have to get up in the morning."

If that's not love, I don't know what is.

steven522 · 10-30-2014, 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adoby

Knowlegde is Power!

Quote:

Originally Posted by MJK2111

"Knowledge is good"

Yes, but "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing."

... If I may also misquote Alexander Pope.

orlok · 10-30-2014, 10:56 AM

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not turned up for work, and had not phoned in sick either. Having an urgent problem that needed his skills, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. "Hello? "

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, " No."

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "A policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the ear piece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A helicopter," answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter."

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle, "Me..."

HomeInMyShoes · 10-30-2014, 01:18 PM

^Lol.

BenG · 10-31-2014, 11:44 PM

How does Sean Connery shave?

Spoiler:

crich70 · 11-01-2014, 03:51 AM

A little girl tells her mother that her tummy hurts and the mother tells her that it's because there is nothing in it and gives her some cookies and milk.
A little while later there is a knock at the door and the little girl answers it. It's the family minister and the little girl asks how he is. "Oh I'm not at all well,"he says. "My head hurts."
"Oh," says the little girl,"that's because there's nothing in it."

10-31-2014, 11:44 PM	#8144
BenG Home Guard Posts: 4,729 Karma: 86721650 Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Alpha Ralpha Boulevard Device: Kindle Oasis 3G, iPhone 6	How does Sean Connery shave? Spoiler: Ctrl+S

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10-23-2014, 06:05 PM	#8131
crich70 Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,305 Karma: 43993832 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Monroe Wisconsin Device: K3, Kindle Paperwhite, Calibre, and Mobipocket for Pc (netbook)	Hmm. I wonder if she gets frequent flyer miles with that thing.

10-24-2014, 02:25 PM	#8132
Glorfindel Force-Aware Elf Posts: 4,757 Karma: 11557898 Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: Valinor Device: Kindle 4 w/SO	LOL

10-26-2014, 09:38 AM	#8133
PoP curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ Posts: 3,002 Karma: 50506927 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: ♁ ᴺ₄₅°₃₀' ᵂ₇₃°₃₇' ±₆₀" Device: K3₃.₄.₃ PW3&4₅.₁₃.₃

10-26-2014, 12:30 PM	#8134
Adoby Handy Elephant Posts: 1,736 Karma: 26785668 Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Southern Sweden, far out in the quiet woods Device: Thinkpad E595, Ubuntu Mate, Huawei Mediapad 5, Bouye Likebook Plus	Knowlegde is Power!

10-26-2014, 08:25 PM	#8135
Freeshadow temp. out of service Posts: 2,791 Karma: 24285242 Join Date: May 2010 Location: Duisburg (DE) Device: PB 623	Is that an orthographitti?

10-27-2014, 07:17 AM	#8136
PoP curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ Posts: 3,002 Karma: 50506927 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: ♁ ᴺ₄₅°₃₀' ᵂ₇₃°₃₇' ±₆₀" Device: K3₃.₄.₃ PW3&4₅.₁₃.₃	^ +1 ... and probably a teacher feeling graffitified after her deed.

10-28-2014, 07:17 AM	#8137
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	"Time is a construct of man, a means of adding value and structure to a chaotic universe, it serves no real purpose, it's endless and infinite, unfathomable and subjective." "That may very well be true, but you're still late for work," replied my boss.

10-29-2014, 11:30 AM	#8138
steven522 binomial: homo legentem Posts: 1,061 Karma: 25222222 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Alabama, USA Device: iriver Story HD; Archos 80 G9	A man receives a phone call from his doctor late one evening... Doctor: "I got your test results back. I have some good news and some bad news." Man: "What's the good news?" Doctor: "You have less than 24 hours left to live." Man: "What?!!! Then what's the bad news?" Doctor: "I was supposed to call you first thing this morning." The man then runs to his wife... Man: "I only have a few hours left to live. I want to spend those last hours making love to you for the rest of the night." Wife: "That's easy for you to say, you don't have to get up in the morning."

10-30-2014, 10:56 AM	#8142
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not turned up for work, and had not phoned in sick either. Having an urgent problem that needed his skills, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. "Hello? " "Is your daddy home?" he asked. "Yes," whispered the small voice. May I talk with him?" The child whispered, " No." Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" "Yes." "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "No." Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?" "Yes," whispered the child, "A policeman." Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?" "No, he's busy", whispered the child. "Busy doing what?" "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer. Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the ear piece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?" "A helicopter," answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive. Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter." Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?" Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle, "Me..."

10-30-2014, 01:18 PM	#8143
HomeInMyShoes Grand Sorcerer Posts: 19,226 Karma: 67780237 Join Date: Jul 2011 Device: none	^Lol.

11-01-2014, 03:51 AM	#8145
crich70 Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,305 Karma: 43993832 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Monroe Wisconsin Device: K3, Kindle Paperwhite, Calibre, and Mobipocket for Pc (netbook)	A little girl tells her mother that her tummy hurts and the mother tells her that it's because there is nothing in it and gives her some cookies and milk. A little while later there is a knock at the door and the little girl answers it. It's the family minister and the little girl asks how he is. "Oh I'm not at all well,"he says. "My head hurts." "Oh," says the little girl,"that's because there's nothing in it."