Unutterably Silly Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day

[cromag]

Have you seen this one?

[PoP]

Aladdin's wife?

[steven522]

So my home phone rings last night and I see the caller ID shows "Out of Area" and a 305 area code. I know it's a telemarketer of some kind and lately I have been trying my best to keep whomever may be calling on the line as long as possible. I figure that if the goal of the telemarketing system is to reach as many people as possible, every minute I can detain the caller from moving on to the next victim means a hit to the marketing system's efficiency.

To my amazement, I actually received a call from the AAMMYY scammers. The heavily accented person on the other end let me know he was from Microsoft and all of the little "send error message to Microsoft" notices that pop up on my computer finally came to their attention and that he was calling to fix the problem. I managed to keep the guy on the phone for nearly twenty minutes before he finally hung up on me.

I figured these people are looking for the most tech-un-savvy people they can find so my best bet was to play as dumb as possible (which isn't really too much of a stretch for my meager acting skills).


The general flow of the conversation went along these lines:
- I was asked to open my web browser. I finally figured that one out.
- I was asked to go to the AMMYY.COM web site. After several heavily accented and extremely slow and over enunciated repetitions I was finally able to type in the website address.
- I was asked to click on a button to install something. "I don't see a button", "What do you see?", "A long list of search results", "Does one of them say 'remote desktop'?", "Not that I can see", "Let's try typing it in again", "OK."
- When the scammer lost hope of completing the above step he decided to try something else: "Let's try typing in to the address bar", "The what?", "Do you see a line at the top of the screen that starts with 'http'?", "Where?", "Top of the screen", "I don't see one", "Are you sure?", "I think so."
- Eventually he tried a different tactic: "Do you know where the spacebar is on the keyboard?", "The what?", "The big long key with nothing on it", "Yeah, I see it", "Do you see A, L, T next to it?", "The A, the L, and the what?", "No, a single key with A, L, and T together", "Oh, yeah, I see it", "Next to that is a key with four little boxes", "No, I see a key with an apple on it", "Apple? Are you on a Mac?", "Yeah", "No, I need you to go to your Windows computer", "Windows? I don't have one of those."

At this point the scammer finally had enough and hung up on me.

[HomeInMyShoes]

It took me a long time to figure out what suspender Dorothy was supposed to be. Where's my coffee?

[PoP]

^ Me too.

Autocorrect is your worst enema.









For those not old enough to remember:

Spoiler:

Will really spoil it:

Spoiler:

[Glorfindel]

I still don't know what it means

[WT Sharpe]

Originally Posted by Glorfindel

I still don't know what it means

From Wikipedia: Surrender Dorothy.

[Glorfindel]

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

From Wikipedia: Surrender Dorothy.

Aha, thanks I never watched the films.

[orlok]

[HomeInMyShoes]

Why do I find that so funny?

[BelleZora]

Cracked me up, too, and it seems inexplicable that it should do so.

[PoP]

A grade school teacher was asking his pupils what their parents did for a living.

"Tim, you be first. What does your mother do?"
Tim stood up and said, "She's a doctor."

"That's wonderful. How about you, Amy?"
Amy shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."

"Thank you, Amy" said the teacher. "What does your parent do, Billy?"
Billy stood up and proudly announced, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."

The teacher was shocked and went to Billy's house. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation.

Billy's dad said, "I'm actually an internationalization engineer specializing in collation and normalization with multibyte Unicode canonical encoding called UTF-8 and UTF-16.

How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

[cromag]

Actually, the seven year old kid probably has the best chance at understanding!

I was a stay-at-home dad when my kids were growing up. One Father's Day, when my son was in pre-school, the teacher had the kids get up and tell the class what their fathers did. When she got to my son he stood up, shrugged his shoulders, and said "beats me!"

[PeterT]

Noah had populated the Ark with two of all animals, and as the journey progressed more and more of the animals were producing offspring; all that is, except two snakes.

Try as they might, the snakes remained barren.

One day Noah's son Ham had been practicing his woodworking and had made a lovely little table. Not being sure what to do with it, the spirit of good will moved him to place it in the snake's quarters.

Lo and Behold, a few months later the Ark saw the birth of young snakes, and all rejoiced.

Noah approached the snakes and asked what had changed; what allowed them to suddenly replicate.

The snakes looked at each other, and then at Noah, and replied ...

"You see; we are just simple Adders and you gave us a Log Table, so then we could multiply."

[cromag]

*Groan!*