12-09-2012, 06:25 AM | #16 |
The Dank Side of the Moon
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12-16-2012, 07:06 AM | #17 | |
Guru
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Quote:
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12-17-2012, 08:03 AM | #18 |
Philosopher
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I don't have a problem with "Beat", it communicated just fine with me. It could have said "He paused for a moment," but "Beat" works. I don't think I would use it, but I understood it, and I didn't find it jarring. There is missing punctuation in the dialog though, I think it should be:
"... I’ll let Glenda know what’s going on too, so she can head Jim off at the pass.” Beat. “Um…I guess that’s it. I’ll be here till two, I guess, if you want to call me. See ya.” Without the commas around "I guess", it looks like a mess. |
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