03-15-2009, 04:05 AM | #1 |
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I Burn Today - by PJ Lyon (short) FEEDBOOKS
Last edited by Moejoe; 06-09-2009 at 03:52 AM. |
03-15-2009, 04:55 AM | #2 | |
It's about the umbrella
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I loved it! It was a story that drew me in and made me forget that I read the whole thing on my laptop before I could send to my reader.
I especially loved the below quoted section. Quote:
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03-15-2009, 04:56 AM | #3 | |
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Well there are a couple of glaring spelling errors. That'll teach me to turn off the squiggly red underline mjigger Last edited by Moejoe; 03-15-2009 at 05:11 AM. |
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03-15-2009, 05:13 AM | #4 | |
It's about the umbrella
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[Between the 1st and 2nd charges.] Shall we move on to the second charge?' 'There's more? Isn't that enough? [here I thought it should have been a "?" used as it seemed to match his conversational pace and the missing question mark made me go back to reread the sentence] 'On the second count of treason and incitement to rebellion, you are hereby found guilty. You will, at a time of the our choosing, [remove "the"] I didn't keep notes as I was pulled into the story and only really noticed the places where it pulled me out. |
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03-15-2009, 05:16 AM | #5 | |
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Quote:
UPDATED: Corrections made. Much thanks to dreams for spotting them Last edited by Moejoe; 03-15-2009 at 05:20 AM. |
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06-09-2009, 03:53 AM | #6 |
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re-uploaded to Feedbooks with new cover
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06-15-2009, 07:17 PM | #7 | |
Bear Melt
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Moejoe, there are several places where the opening quotation mark has a following space before the first word. For example, the first sentence states:
Quote:
There are also extra spaces in front of a few commas and periods. For example, in the paragraph beginning “ The offending texts in question are ... Also, I may have missed something, but why is the entire store included twice? I tried to compare the two stories, to see if there were any differences, but I can't find any. Is that just a typo? Is the second iteration the story written by Alfred J. Kurtz? All that being said, I like the story very much. Thanks! |
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06-15-2009, 07:19 PM | #8 |
zeldinha zippy zeldissima
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good god, how did i miss this ?
(actually, never mind, i know how : i was working. but still ! you should have come and gotten me !!) thank you moejoe ! downloading right now. |
06-15-2009, 07:36 PM | #9 |
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06-15-2009, 07:37 PM | #10 |
zeldinha zippy zeldissima
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06-15-2009, 07:38 PM | #11 |
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Maybe the title, I Burn Today, frightened you and you supressed all memory of having read this thread.
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06-17-2009, 03:37 AM | #12 | |
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Quote:
EDIT: Argghhh you're right!! It's a friggin mess. How the hell did that happen? The text is duplicated and spaces have been inserted before most of the punctuation. Last edited by Moejoe; 06-17-2009 at 03:45 AM. |
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06-17-2009, 04:15 AM | #13 |
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Well that was extremely frustrating. It's fixed now, but there's something majorly wrong with Feedbooks I fear. Every time I tried to center an element the whole text block shifted. It lost all italics on pasting into the web form. Tried on Chrome, Firefox, the only one that it worked properly with was....*drum roll*....Internet Explorer 8!!! How is that feasible? In any case, it's fixed now, but I'm going to take a look at everything else I've uploaded just in case.
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06-18-2009, 08:14 PM | #14 |
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Thanks for the fix, Moe. I haven't found any similar issues with any of your other books. Have you reported this to Hadrien?
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06-18-2009, 09:15 PM | #15 | |
zeldinha zippy zeldissima
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moejoe, i agree with moe (wow, that's a bit confusing !), you should definitely alert hadrien to this odd behaviour, that sounds like a bug to me. |
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