No history whatsoever

ardeegee · 09-07-2010, 02:05 PM

Heads-up to William Gibson fans that Zero History was released today!

http://www.amazon.com/Zero-History-ebook/dp/B003ZUXXBA

http://ebookstore.sony.com/ebook/wil...00000000262356

ardeegee · 09-07-2010, 05:18 PM

I've started reading Zero History Zero and it is fracking filled with unneeded commas. So many that it is constantly pulling me out of the story. One example out of many:

"Someone, within the silent, apparently closed building, rapped sharply, once, on plate glass, perhaps with a ring."

When of course it would have read better as:

"Someone within the silent, apparently closed building rapped sharply, once, on plate glass, perhaps with a ring."

Or even

"Someone within the silent, apparently closed building rapped once sharply on plate glass, perhaps with a ring."

If that was the only example in the book, that would be nitpicking, but they are everywhere.

Major editing fail.

sweevo · 09-07-2010, 06:56 PM

This title is not available for customers from:
United States

At least that's what it shows for me.

montsnmags · 09-07-2010, 06:59 PM

Perhaps because of my tendency to stilt my own prose with commas, I do not find that sentence to be overdone with them. It gives a measure of paused thought processes to the person perceiving the scene.

Of course, saying this, I have no idea of the context nor of how repetitive it may be. I can conceive the possibility of me being bumped-out if the entire text kept giving me such pause(s).

Cheers,
Marc

SensualPoet · 09-07-2010, 07:01 PM

Ouch. The Amazon edition in Canada is $14.82. Is it extra for all the commas, I wonder?

ardeegee · 09-07-2010, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SensualPoet

Ouch. The Amazon edition in Canada is $14.82. Is it extra for all the commas, I wonder?

Well, in fairness, you get 10,760 of them.

queentess · 09-08-2010, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweevo

This title is not available for customers from:
United States

At least that's what it shows for me.

Shows this for me as well. Perhaps it was taken down to correct the comma issue? Or was it never available in the U.S.?

Sparrow · 09-08-2010, 10:48 AM

I think there should be another comma after 'closed'.

HarryT · 09-08-2010, 10:56 AM

It's available in the UK Amazon Kindle store, but it's awfully expensive at £9.99.

ardeegee · 09-08-2010, 12:33 PM

A couple of more sentences that caught my eye last night.:

"Everything was repackaged, in variously sized featureless white gelatin capsules, which he was forbidden to open."

"He'd pushed the empty white bubble-pack, with its tiny, precisely handwritten notations of date and hour, in purple ink, far down into the seatback pocket.

Also noticed one long sentence fragment, similar to the one in the "would you keep reading" thread over in Self-Promotions. I don't know what happened with this book, but the editor really failed at his job.

poohbear_nc · 09-08-2010, 01:02 PM

Now available at Amazon for USA for $12.99

http://www.amazon.com/Zero-History-e...3965344&sr=1-1

montsnmags · 09-08-2010, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ardeegee

A couple of more sentences that caught my eye last night.:
...

Ahh...well...okay, that certainly gives me pause.

Cheers,
Marc

Luke King · 09-08-2010, 10:53 PM

Personally, I'd be more worried about the adjectives.

taming · 09-09-2010, 02:15 AM

http://www.kobobooks.com/search/sear...ero%20History&

Kobo Canada for $14.79. The $2 off coupon Kobodesktop works on it. It's good through the 14th.

FlorenceArt · 09-09-2010, 05:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ardeegee

A couple of more sentences that caught my eye last night.:

"Everything was repackaged, in variously sized featureless white gelatin capsules, which he was forbidden to open."

"He'd pushed the empty white bubble-pack, with its tiny, precisely handwritten notations of date and hour, in purple ink, far down into the seatback pocket.

Also noticed one long sentence fragment, similar to the one in the "would you keep reading" thread over in Self-Promotions. I don't know what happened with this book, but the editor really failed at his job.

Can't see anything wrong with these two sentences myself... the first one you quoted was a bit too much, yes, but not these two IMO. I could read the same sentences with less commas, but I might have to go back and re-read to get the structure and meaning right. The commas make it easier to read for me.

The trouble is, once you've started noticing a thing like that in a book, you might become obsessed with it. I can relate to that

09-07-2010, 02:05 PM	#1
ardeegee Maratus speciosus butt Posts: 3,292 Karma: 1162698 Join Date: Sep 2009 Device: PRS-350	No history whatsoever Heads-up to William Gibson fans that Zero History was released today! http://www.amazon.com/Zero-History-ebook/dp/B003ZUXXBA http://ebookstore.sony.com/ebook/wil...00000000262356

09-07-2010, 05:18 PM	#2
ardeegee Maratus speciosus butt Posts: 3,292 Karma: 1162698 Join Date: Sep 2009 Device: PRS-350	What the hell is going on here? I've started reading Zero History Zero and it is fracking filled with unneeded commas. So many that it is constantly pulling me out of the story. One example out of many: "Someone, within the silent, apparently closed building, rapped sharply, once, on plate glass, perhaps with a ring." When of course it would have read better as: "Someone within the silent, apparently closed building rapped sharply, once, on plate glass, perhaps with a ring." Or even "Someone within the silent, apparently closed building rapped once sharply on plate glass, perhaps with a ring." If that was the only example in the book, that would be nitpicking, but they are everywhere. Major editing fail.

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09-07-2010, 06:56 PM	#3
sweevo Groupie Posts: 197 Karma: 6848 Join Date: Aug 2010 Device: Sony PRS-650, Kindle Touch	This title is not available for customers from: United States At least that's what it shows for me.

09-07-2010, 06:59 PM	#4
montsnmags Grand Sorcerer Posts: 10,155 Karma: 4632658 Join Date: Nov 2007 Device: none	Perhaps because of my tendency to stilt my own prose with commas, I do not find that sentence to be overdone with them. It gives a measure of paused thought processes to the person perceiving the scene. Of course, saying this, I have no idea of the context nor of how repetitive it may be. I can conceive the possibility of me being bumped-out if the entire text kept giving me such pause(s). Cheers, Marc

09-07-2010, 07:01 PM	#5
SensualPoet Wizard Posts: 2,302 Karma: 2607151 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Toronto Device: Kobo Aura HD, Kindle Paperwhite, Asus ZenPad 3, Kobo Glo	Ouch. The Amazon edition in Canada is $14.82. Is it extra for all the commas, I wonder?

09-08-2010, 10:48 AM	#8
Sparrow Wizard Posts: 4,395 Karma: 1358132 Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: UK Device: Palm TX, CyBook Gen3	I think there should be another comma after 'closed'.

09-08-2010, 10:56 AM	#9
HarryT eBook Enthusiast Posts: 85,544 Karma: 93383043 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis 2, iPad Pro 10.5", iPhone 6	It's available in the UK Amazon Kindle store, but it's awfully expensive at £9.99.

09-08-2010, 12:33 PM	#10
ardeegee Maratus speciosus butt Posts: 3,292 Karma: 1162698 Join Date: Sep 2009 Device: PRS-350	A couple of more sentences that caught my eye last night.: "Everything was repackaged, in variously sized featureless white gelatin capsules, which he was forbidden to open." "He'd pushed the empty white bubble-pack, with its tiny, precisely handwritten notations of date and hour, in purple ink, far down into the seatback pocket. Also noticed one long sentence fragment, similar to the one in the "would you keep reading" thread over in Self-Promotions. I don't know what happened with this book, but the editor really failed at his job.

09-08-2010, 01:02 PM	#11
poohbear_nc Now what? Posts: 60,423 Karma: 135181808 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	Now available at Amazon for USA for $12.99 http://www.amazon.com/Zero-History-e...3965344&sr=1-1

09-08-2010, 10:53 PM	#13
Luke King Member Retired Posts: 173 Karma: 200000 Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Australia Device: Kindle 2	Personally, I'd be more worried about the adjectives.

09-09-2010, 02:15 AM	#14
taming Trying for calm & polite Posts: 4,012 Karma: 9455193 Join Date: May 2010 Location: Mostly in Canada Device: kobo original, WiFI, Touch, Glo, and Aura	http://www.kobobooks.com/search/sear...ero%20History& Kobo Canada for $14.79. The $2 off coupon Kobodesktop works on it. It's good through the 14th.

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