User Poetry

[Taylor514ce]

VR is just jealous

[NatCh]

Wait a minute, that's Gabrielle's shade of lipstick!

Now I'm jealous!

[Taylor514ce]

Not to worry, true to character, I "didn't enjoy it." And lest you doubt me, "Why should I want to make anything up? Life's bad enough as it is without wanting to invent anymore of it."

I also contribute the following smiley, meant to mean "User must apply passive emotifaction to this post."

[vivaldirules]

Originally Posted by Taylor514ce

I also contribute the following smiley, meant to mean "User must apply passive emotifaction to this post."

Oh, sure. The muzzler now wants to activate his passive emotifaction. What a great idea.

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by Taylor514ce

I also contribute the following smiley, meant to mean "User must apply passive emotifaction to this post."

ah yes, the "passive emotifaction" smiley. nothing ironic about that.

[Taylor514ce]

I would never USE it, of course. It would be incumbent upon the collective you to emotifactor it into my posts. But, assuming the Powers that Be adopt it, at least it now exists. While my most of my brain is in hyperspace, at least now my smilies aren't metaphysical.

[fifteenjugglers]

Originally Posted by NatCh

Hey! I wanted to use it first!

grumble, grumble, stupid time zones, grumble ....

Sorry for the theft of your thunder. But it was irresistable...

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

yep, you have to get up pretty early to beat someone who's in a time zone 8 (7 ?) hours ahead of you.

Being ahead of the rest of the world certainly has its advantages. Unfortunately these usually amount to nothing more valuable than producing such cultural necessities as Air Supply and Men At Work, inventing barbed wire, and divining which Beatles classic Brooke will butcher next.

[badgoodDeb]

Originally Posted by Taylor514ce

Not to worry, true to character, I "didn't enjoy it." And lest you doubt me, "Why should I want to make anything up? Life's bad enough as it is without wanting to invent anymore of it."

Ok, so I'm slow. I've read the book, but hadn't seen the movie. I'll have to remedy that. With that line I finally realized where Taylor514ce's avatar came from. So I googled, and found I was right. Clips of planethead's best lines:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=sQqeidrlDyw

Now I'm more in love than ever.......

[badgoodDeb]

Boy -- that was a thread killer. Ignore the lady swooning in the corner (he's still cuuuute!) and read some poetry instead. NOT by me, but a childhood favorite. Which works best in print, rather than verbally:

If an S and an I and an O and a U
With an X at the end spell "sue";
And an E and a Y and an E spell "I",
Pray, what is a speller to do?

Then if also an S and an I and a G
With an H - E - D spell "Side"
There is nothing on earth for a speller to do
But go and commit SiouxEyeSighed.

[NatCh]

Not mine either, but I like it:

Johnny was a chemist's son,
But Johnny is no more.
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2SO4.

[badgoodDeb]

I like this limerick, cuz it doesn't LOOK like a limerick:

A mosquito cried out in pain:
"A chemist has poisoned my brain!"
The cause of his sorrow
was para-dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane


[paraDichloroDiphenylTrichloroethane is the the full name for DDT]

[Taylor514ce]

through the kitchen window
neighbor's young wife...
clouds cover the moon

[Lobolover]

"The Ancient Man"

A man there lived,of whom I know,god knows how I avail

To tell the tale,of how this man,lived in his merry way.

He came from states at Northern lakes and often did he say

„Nor beast nor man,nor thing twice damned,a hand upon him may

lay in wait to slay his Great,as he would often call.

Be on your watch,he said,or scotch,i tell this to you all.“

He hunted in the shermans wood,oh lord if I only may

To avail to say,how he there stood,and gaspeth upon his prey

He took the bones,and made them tools,for play and for his kin,

He threw them to the dogs he did,with many a merry sing

He took the skin and cut it deep,while hanging on a pole,

He made it reek,five feet around,his all-dreaded dome

He took the blood,and made it rise,for lamb or bear or newborn child,

He treausured as a prise

He cut and filled his lonely tub,and did within it bathe

And none who came and saw him thus,could scarcely be as brave

To but a word of acusition breathe,when they remember stil,

How this one man,silent as a lamb,poured blood out to his kin

They said he came then to his bed and a great night there would lie

As though he knew ,not beast or prey,could ever make him die

And often times,through lonely skies,great cries were heard anew

This old man then,was told in spite,to oft amongst them brew

He cried his words in lonely tongues

No ears could ever stand

And a damn horrid sight it was

For one who did be there a-strand‘

This befel one John Canine,from Albertstown,was sure

He came to town,to look for work,to work there was his due

But at no doors did they lend him oars,listen to him at all

For all there feared that him from the breed, of that strange man „of the fall“

For at many times,so lonely sights,some strange men often came

To see the man,whom they all damned,but did not dare him shame

They draged about,all torn and out of them their spirits came

As if they had naught left,but to spread HIS fame

And often did they come anon and strange there sounds did come

And the old man then would go to bed,while the other was surely gone

And none had seen him take his leave,though all had see him enter

And all knew well there was no hope,when steped bellow that shelter

And all did fear that ancient man,who God himself forgot

For a wretch as great as he,could surely not be wrought

From conciounsce of the Lord above,nor did he ever stray

Into the church,bellow the cross,nor did he ever pray

And long his nails and filled with dirt,

And mud and sudd upon him lay,upon his bloodied shirt

Surely he was a dirty man,by body and by soul

But none ere dared to speak alloud,the wish of people all

That ancient man then did there live,so long as I do know

And not a trace of dying grace ever apeared upon his brow

He would often sit at Gorman’s lake and often would he call

At night to frogs,at day to snakes,for sure he loved them all

And his kin they were,all men did think,

For surely this old man

No earthly drink

Could ever waste,to such a horrid damn

But this man Canine knew him not

And came to him to plea

He surely did nor know

What beyond those doors did rott

But when he cried,oh lord,he pried, the door full and a jar

And he found the man there huddled stil,within his hands a jar

And there within a heart stil beating,as that it was yet in bloom

The youngster froze,while in his blood,the anger made to boom

And he took a shovel from the ground and battered with all his might

And he killed the man all did fear,and rid us of his might

But ere he could dipose the corpse,the corpse upon him lay,and hands did grasp upon his throat,in many a hideous way

And the young man did tear the corpse,yet stil it at him blew,till all at lenght,at sixteen eight

His soul all from him flew

And the man who was the corpse ,there erect did stand and to me he did oustretch his utter horrid hand

„Listen man,whether wise or damned be ye

hear my tale,so full of ave,of dreadfull melanchony

I was a man who lived in pain and in anger God did spurn,

Then from the heavens came a sound and its voice upon me burn

And from the voice I knew full well ANOTHER God did speak

Then ever Milton dared record,within his master-streak

And HE spoke to me,who was ye Pan

And made me do his will

For one hundred years I was to do ill

And by his vision peigned

And if I shall then at a time,

Uncertain at all acords,to me and all of mine,

Slay him who would afore slay me,

Then surely the wretched I

Would be free from this mine rhyme

And surely as was said,free for all of time

And secrets great and monstrosely bread

He would show me beneath the sea

But how my heart now acheth with

A stern melancholy

For I shallt never see again

A human face drawn near

All I shall now at all times behold

There at all be a thousandfold

Strange things within the rear

And to those lands

Where a city stands

sunken bellow the sea

I shall be hauled

And shall maraud

Ye great eternal deep

Then with this,ye fearfull wretch

Hear me whilst I speak

My parting song to all mankind,whom long I have despised

And know ye reek, that with your eyes

You never shall see me part.“

And with this the man did fell

And there he lay in heaps

And soon it came upon the folk

To burn that house of tears

And wood they gathered all around

But when that house did smoke

We hear all around a smouldering sound

As of a soul thath be not smothe

And riseth from Hell to lands beyond

The grasp of which I sure have not

But which itself shall master soon

And reign without a doubt.

[vivaldirules]

A little piece I wrote (I stole the first stanza from yet another fraud) for my daughters one Friday afternoon after they both had spent a particularly cold and icy week of their freshman year at their respective colleges. Sorry I can't do much better.


You'll remember the Cat in the Hat
Who got those kids in such trouble.
They were sent to boarding school
Right on the double.

You see, Thing One and Thing Two
Had eaten all the food.
The fish finally tattled
About them being so rude.

Now the Things are in college
To learn something new.
How to be smart about stuff
And how to think things through.

But a long week's gone by
With ice and with cold.
My girls have struggled hard.
College life is gettin' old.

Miss Laura at Drake
And Miss Sarah at Trinity
Need to let go some steam
But not to infinity.

So try to be nice
and make not a mess,
But it's a good time now
To relieve all that stress.

Just pack up your books,
Put away all those notes.
It's party time now.
Be sure to wear your coats!

[Taylor514ce]

Not bad at all!