Do you like kids?

[kazbates]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

some of us have had to be responsible for ourselves as well as others starting from an age when someone else should really have been doing the heavy lifting. i don't personally need a kid of my own to learn about that, in fact i think i may have over-learned that particular lesson. plus, i'm already responsible for 2 cats and an orchid, and that is plenty for now.

I knew from a very young age that having children was what I really wanted to do with my life. I spent a lot of time babysitting and I loved it. I never really had a lot of heavy responsibility while growing up but if I had the kind of pressure then that I have now as a parent, I would need to seriously rethink my decision to have children. It is a HUGE commitment and you do lose a little of yourself in the process. I used to cringe every time someone introduced me as "Shannon's mom" or "Zachary's mom", like I didn't actually have my own identity. Now, I'm just too tired to worry about it.

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by kazbates

I knew from a very young age that having children was what I really wanted to do with my life. I spent a lot of time babysitting and I loved it.

actually, when i was younger i wanted children. i also did a lot of babysitting though and although i liked it at first i think i kept doing it for too long, at an age when i should have been spending time with people at least 15 or 20 years older than the kids i was babysitting. that is probably what started to change my mind. there were many contributing factors though. and as i said, in the right circumstances, i might still decide to have one, but i don't feel any particularly strong desire in an absolute sense.

I never really had a lot of heavy responsibility while growing up but if I had the kind of pressure then that I have now as a parent, I would need to seriously rethink my decision to have children. It is a HUGE commitment and you do lose a little of yourself in the process. I used to cringe every time someone introduced me as "Shannon's mom" or "Zachary's mom", like I didn't actually have my own identity. Now, I'm just too tired to worry about it.

...kazbates further reinforcing every childfree person's desire to stay that way.

[kazbates]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

actually, when i was younger i wanted children. i also did a lot of babysitting though and although i liked it at first i think i kept doing it for too long, at an age when i should have been spending time with people at least 15 or 20 years older than the kids i was babysitting. that is probably what started to change my mind. there were many contributing factors though. and as i said, in the right circumstances, i might still decide to have one, but i don't feel any particularly strong desire in an absolute sense.


...kazbates further reinforcing every childfree person's desire to stay that way.

I do what I can for the sake of mankind!!

[FizzyWater]

You know, when my middle brother and his wife had their first daughter, he used to put her up on his shoulders. She'd grab tight to a hank of hair...and drool all over his head.

When I pointed it out to him, he'd just say: "She's a baby, that's what they do."

I came to develop a strong respect for my (volatile-as-a-teenager) brother as I watched his patience with his girls.

For me, though? The closest thing I've come to wishing I had kids since I was an adult was in a dream I had about 10 years ago. In my dream, a woman with a cherubic baby in a stroller walked passed me on the street and I thought to myself: "Almost makes me wish I wanted one of those!" (Note the almost!)

[GraceKrispy]

Interesting, reading this thread. when I was young, I had to shoulder a lot more burden than a child should as well as some of you. I was *never* going to get married (root of all evil) and certainly never going to have kids. I loved kids (actually, think I loved them more then than I do now ); I was very nurturing, protective, wanted to give kids the best in life-- things I didn't get. But I just didn't want any kids of my own. I knew I'd be a terrible mom.

Fast forward not as many years as you'd think.... no one was more surprised than me to see me get married (elope) at 23, and have my first kid at 28. Up until I was 27, I was still swearing never never never for the kids.

I think, now, I don't want to surround myself with kids quite as much as I used to-- I crave my time away from kids. seeing as I work all day with kids, and have my own three that I am constantly with (and a husband who works long hours, so it's usually just me, and no family/babysitters etc). It gets to be too much for me. Having no time away from kids doesn't allow me to be the kind of mom I'd like to be (one with a little more patience). But I wouldn't change having my kids. It is a huge, life-changing decision, and sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it, but I wouldn't change it. It has been a cycle of growing though, and I had a really hard time with having my identity changed to "mom." I have been working hard these past few years to get some of my own identity back. "Mom" is definitely a big part of my identity, but it is not all that I am, nor all I aspire to be.

[Sweetpea]

Originally Posted by ravenne

I love them, especially my own ones. Yeah, I know you probably may call this hormonal confusion, but I don't care It's just great to see the world through the eyes of a child. At the age of 2-4 life is full of wonders and mysteries. Besides, children are a perfect excuse if you like to do things like playing with cars and trains, buying worms to see them change into butterflies or building multistorey tree houses.

Hmm, why would you need a kid for that? Not that I liked playing with cars and trains, but I still sleep with my bed full of stuffed animals (and a living one too!)

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

i am positive that i don't want children in any absolute sense, just for the sake of having children.

I once read a newspaper article about a woman who had children just because all her friends had children. She was a successful manager or something and made long hours. Her child was between 3 or 4 when the article was written.

Her schedule:

get up at 7:00, bring the kid to the creche at 8:00, pick up the kid at the babysitter at 20:00 (as the creche is only during working hours) and put the kid to bed.

(don't remember the exact schedule, but this is the short of it...)

Why have kids if you don't want to make the time for them?

My brother was a salesperson, who often went to the clients, all over the country. This meant he was often home very late. As soon as his first son was born, he changed his function so he could do normal office hours. That way he could eat with his son, play with his son and put him to bed.

[yvanleterrible]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Grandparent job description:

1. Spoil them rotten
2. Get them sticky
3. send them home

4. And sleep it off in peace.

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

i hate all my neighbors' children because they are noisy little hellions who either cry all day long (and frequently at night too) or run wild and spend their time at home in the courtyard shrieking at the top of their lungs (or some combination of those activities), while i am trying to work / sleep / read / have any semblance of normal life (i hate my neighbours more, because they do nothing when their children cry, and allow their obnoxious little hellions to run wild and spend all day shrieking in the courtyard). i know i sound like a cranky old lady when i say this but when i was a child, playing did not involve screaming just to see who can make the most noise (there is no other apparent motivation) and i see no reason why it ever should. in fact i hate *all* loud, undisicplined children who are being allowed to run wild / have screaming tantrums in the métro / grocery store / version to Children whenever they manifest as an undifferentiated mass of more than, say, 2, because there is a schoolyard behind my building and... well, here is an mp3 of what i actually hear all day, every day (attached, in zip because mp3 is not a legal attachement format, and when you've listened to it you'll understand why). don't say i didn't warn you. imagine that in an endless loop, about a thousand decibels louder.

I've always wondered why the eyes had lids and the ears nothing...

[Stitchawl]

A child is the promise that time makes to a man,
the guarantee every father receives that whatever he holds dear
will someday be considered foolish, and that the person he
loves best in the world will misunderstand him.

It has taken my son almost 35 years to reverse this. But thank God it's actually happening.

Stitchawl

[Sweetpea]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

in fact i hate *all* loud, undisicplined children who are being allowed to run wild / have screaming tantrums in the métro / grocery store / street / etc.

There was this commercial here, last year I believe...

Scene: supermarket, mother with child in shoppingcart.

Child puts some chips in the cart, mother sees it and puts it back
Child starts crying as if he's being killed
Mother drops on the floor and starts having a tantrum.
Child stops.
Mother stands up, as if it's normal what she's done and continues shopping with a very quiet child


Awesome commercial... Wish I could find it somewhere...

My wish is my command, different search string found me this:

[yvanleterrible]

Originally Posted by Sweetpea

There was this commercial here, last year I believe...

Scene: supermarket, mother with child in shoppingcart.

Child puts some chips in the cart, mother sees it and puts it back
Child starts crying as if he's being killed
Mother drops on the floor and starts having a tantrum.
Child stops.
Mother stands up, as if it's normal what she's done and continues shopping with a very quiet child


Awesome commercial... Wish I could find it somewhere...

My wish is my command, different search string found me this:

What I find funny is that the mother uses the tantrum as a weapon against the child in a pre-emptive strike.

[RWood]

I love kids, they are delicious when served with a mustard based dipping sauce. Some of the older ones do get a bit stringy and tough. Jonathan Swift did a great cookbook about kids a few years back in England.

[mores]

I never "liked" kids. They annoyed me when I was in a restaurant, or when they were running around on the sidewalk, getting their diaper changed when I'm in the park etc.
But I knew I wanted to have kids, sometime, because I knew that I would feel my life had been a waste if I didn't.
Now I am a proud father of a 9-month old, and learning the ropes. Being the stay-at-home part of the parenting team really helps, too.

So now I appreciate other kids more, usually in the sub-5 age area. Somehow they all smell weird and act weird and annoy me still once they reach 8 or nine.
Yesterday a group of 10-year-olds were passing me on the sidewalk, me pushing the carriage and carrying 3 shopping bags in my left hand, and the one closest to me just barely made room for the stroller, but made a point of whacking my bag-carrying arm and show off to his friends how cool he was.
Maybe it's a good thing I usually find the right replies/reactions about an hour after the occurrence, otherwise I might have an angry parent standing on my doorstep, or worse, the cops.

[Bilbo1967]

I am the proud father of two boys (6 and 12 years old), What annoys me more than anything is those people who complain about kids and yet put themselves in positions where they are almost sure to come across them.

Example; we took the boys to a family themed restaurant at 6 in the evening last weekend. In that restaurant, at the next table, were a couple (no children) who were clearly displeased at our children talking (not shouting or being naughty, just talking). Well. I'm sorry, but if you get annoyed by kids, do not go to a family restaurant in the early evening - go out after 9, or go to an adults only restaurant - jeez!

[Stitchawl]

McDonalds does NOT make its money from selling food. It makes it as a safe haven for young mothers who need a place to take their kids where the kids can run amok, running around the tables, have screaming contests, throw food at each other, etc., etc., while the mothers completely ignore all this behavior and chat merrily among themselves, totally oblivious to all the chaos. A drug-free tranquilizer for Moms! If they aren't going to teach their children manners, at least they are kind enough to group them all together to disturb the least number of other people.

I applaud McDonalds for this clever approach to marketing. Fortunately most other patrons of this fast-food chain know this to be true and if they wish to avoid it, only enter the premise after little ankle biter's bed time!

It re-affirms for me why in Nature so many animals eat their young...

Stitchawl

[Verencat]

Zelda, I just heard the SHUMs!

Here, this should help. And try taping pillows over your ears too.