I am going to bed! [unutterable silliness] - Page 4

montsnmags · 04-21-2008, 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NatCh

Necrophilia?

"Dead sexy"? Okay, I'll admit it's the beginning of the viral campaign for my new screenplay. I'm writing a sequel (you can never have too many of them) called:

Bridget Jones's Chainsaw: Love Amongst the Zombies

Poor Bridget discovers Mark Darcy has turned into a Zombie (and what's worse is that it happened more than two prequels ago!). You'll have to go see it; where else will you get to see Renée Zellweger waving a roaring, blood-spraying, Harrods-bought Husqvarna 3120XP over her head while screaming the shocking expletive-laden declaration:

"CEASE AND DESIST, YOU GOSH-DAM-NED BLIGHTER!!!"

(I wanted her saying "#$%^ UP AND DIE, MOTHER#$%^ER!", but apparently the fine folks of the British film industry are totally and completely unaware of the phrase "Hollywood blockbuster").

Cheers,
Marc (from the Edge of UnReason)

RWood · 04-21-2008, 09:31 PM

In this installment of “As the Stomach Turns” we find Marc and his chainsaw packing zombie friend just returning from a night of draining the blood bank dry.

M: Boy, that B-Positive just hit the spot

Z: I just can’t hold my AB like I used to. What are they cutting that stuff with these days?

M: Yeah, seemed like the tech added a bit too much plasma, mine was all runny.

montsnmags · 04-21-2008, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RWood

In this installment of “As the Stomach Turns” we find Marc and his chainsaw packing zombie friend just returning from a night of draining the blood bank dry. ...

Hmm, been riffling through my scripts, have you? Presume to post parts online, do you? Having me speaking like Yoda, are you?

Well, good Mister Wood, let's see where your arrogant murder of my intellectual property gets you as I activate the SUPER-DRM module (Summoning Undead Protection against Enduser Ratbaggery) that was encrypted within.

Do you see them, good Mister Wood? Yes, the coalescing army of entertainment industry lawyers, marching towards you with unholy writs in one hand and knives for the cutting room floor in the other. See their formed rows, twenty across and ever-deep...deep into the black void between the superstars. Yes, the teeth...you've noticed them, have you? Does it surprise you that the lawyers are of the undead...vampires all.

Not so funny for you now, good Mister Wood, is it? I believe it is I who shall have the last laugh....

giggle**SNORT*hehe....pffft...HA!teehee....ACKK!.. ..[burp]guffaw!

Cheers,
Marc (Hmm, haven't quite got my "Evil Laugh" down pat yet...)

NatCh · 04-22-2008, 01:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by montsnmags

... where else will you get to see Renée Zellweger waving a roaring, blood-spraying, Harrods-bought Husqvarna 3120XP over her head while screaming the shocking expletive-laden declaration:

"CEASE AND DESIST, YOU GOSH-DAM-NED BLIGHTER!!!"

It's just the way I've always pictured her!

Quote:

Originally Posted by montsnmags

(Hmm, haven't quite got my "Evil Laugh" down pat yet...)

You can compensate with the evil gloating technique known as "Milking the Giant Cow." No, really: that's what it's called!

nekokami · 04-22-2008, 09:10 AM

Zelda, I love your avatar!

Marc, I'll have to pass on the chainsaw flick, but if you want to make a movie about the undead lawyers of the entertainment industry, I'm there.

zelda_pinwheel · 04-22-2008, 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nekokami

Zelda, I love your avatar!

Marc, I'll have to pass on the chainsaw flick, but if you want to make a movie about the undead lawyers of the entertainment industry, I'm there.

aw, thank you nekokami, but all the credit for this particular one goes to Natch !! go visit this thread quick !! (unutterable silliness alert !! sorry, i'm afraid i am a little late letting you know about this one but i rather got caught up in the madness... you'll see what i mean).

as for that movie about the undead lawyers of the entertainment industry, well, i won't promise to watch it because they already give me nightmares and that's *without* watching the gory details in (glorious) technicolor, but i've got plenty of friends i'll recommend it to who will love it, i'm sure... i think you have the next giant summer blockbuster there, what ever are you waiting for ???

zelda_pinwheel · 04-22-2008, 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by montsnmags

giggle**SNORT*hehe....pffft...HA!teehee....ACKK!.. ..[burp]guffaw!

Cheers,
Marc (Hmm, haven't quite got my "Evil Laugh" down pat yet...)

i don't know, that sounds pretty good to me, as far as Evil Laughs go... it's that extra "maniacal" note that really brings it all together.

RWood · 04-22-2008, 10:40 AM

We need to make the undead lawyers into a SciFi-Horror-Musical . Lots of songs and dancing zombies. The plot is simple (as all great plots must be), Marc is on a quest to find his stolen evil laugh. Early attempts fail and even "Milking the Cow" fail to raise his spirits or the zombie chorus. At the low ebb Marc finds one of Zelda's Pinwheels and blows on it. In a flash ...

See the next installment.

nekokami · 04-22-2008, 10:52 AM

As long as "Bohemian Rhapsody" can be included in the soundtrack, I'm all for a musical.

NatCh · 04-22-2008, 11:19 AM

Hmm. Kind of a Rocky Horror Picture Show reimagined with Bohemian Rhapsody as the inspiration. I like it.

Wait ... "undead lawyers of the entertainment industry" -- I don't think a musical documentary would work all that well.

Steven Lyle Jordan · 04-22-2008, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NatCh

Wait ... "undead lawyers of the entertainment industry" -- I don't think a musical documentary would work all that well.

Sure it would. Put Gene Wilder, Zero Mostel and Kim Kardassian in the central roles... include plenty of casting couch scenes... add Steven Segal and Ryan Seacrest in a surprise drag queen in bondage scene (you guess which one would be the funnier queen, I'm on lunch)... and oh, yeah... a piefight, filmed in Matrix-style motion control slo-mo.

You could live forever off the DVD sale dividends alone.

montsnmags · 04-22-2008, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steve Jordan

...

You could live forever off the DVD sale dividends alone.

My gods, the man is brilliant! He's like a cross between Steven Spielberg (but with less schmaltz), Hunter S. Thompson (but with more drugs), Baz Luhrmann (but with more camp), and a soon-to-be-discovered Australian, small, hyperactive, carnivorous marsupial with roo-legs and shark-teeth that lives in the s-bend of toilets and which I shall call "Adrian".

Mister Jordon; I humbly ask if you will be my director.

I cannot offer you riches, but I can offer you unbound fame and a lifetime supply of fresh pastry (and maybe a nifty little Husqvarna-endorsement sideline..you know, to cover the supply of "chemical enhancements" [nudge-nudge-wink-wink]).

It's okay, Mister Jordon...you have time to contemplate. I am entertaining guests from this afternoon and through the weekend, here in this humble, little, iniquitous den I call "home" (actually, I call it "Chateau Pompette", but it is home nevertheless). We shall speak more, I am sure, if not until Tuesday, unless I can occasionally tear my flesh loose from the razor wire binding of "socialising" (socialising being about as pleasant to me as a rusty wire brush on the googly-bits).

Ta-ta, my friends (with friends like me...?). I am sure you're all devastated to know you will be bereft of my intellectualism and wisdom for a time, my input here being so valuable, so necessary. As General Douglas Macarthur once said "Jaysus #$%^ing H. Christ-on-a-crutch - is that gardamn giant rat a kangaroo?! Holy, jumpin' monkey crap!"...and also "I shall return".

Kisses and hugs,
Marc

Steven Lyle Jordan · 04-23-2008, 09:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by montsnmags

My gods, the man is brilliant! He's like a cross between Steven Spielberg (but with less schmaltz), Hunter S. Thompson (but with more drugs), Baz Luhrmann (but with more camp), and a soon-to-be-discovered Australian, small, hyperactive, carnivorous marsupial with roo-legs and shark-teeth that lives in the s-bend of toilets and which I shall call "Adrian".

You forgot Mel Brooks (but with less phlegm).

montsnmags · 05-04-2008, 09:39 AM

Okay, I have decided that my "I am going to bed!" thread is going to be my "I am going to bed!" thread, and allow (me being a person with such a huge heart...I can't remember where I got it from...I think this one's from some Japanese scientific research vessel...anyway, it fits in my experiment's body cavity, so it'll do) people to use it similarly.

Anyway, what I mean is, should you be a nighttime-poster, and you've been inhaling the midnight oil for long enough, please feel most welcome to leave your pre-nightmare guilty confessions within here as your final goodbye. Who knows? You might never wake up, and would you want to have that guilty secret on your conscience?

So, here's mine...

When I was a kid I put the family goldfish in my mouth to feel it swimming around. It tickled, then it died, but I put it back in the bowl and the family thought it was "natural causes".

Thank-you, and good night,
Marc (Can't sleep; goldfish will eat me)

zelda_pinwheel · 05-04-2008, 09:42 AM

(can't sleep ; having a terrible dream of being trapped in a reddish-black cave with spongy floor, with walls made of white boulders, not enough air, and incessant earthquakes.)

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04-21-2008, 09:31 PM	#47
RWood Technogeezer Posts: 7,233 Karma: 1601464 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virginia, USA Device: Sony PRS-500	In this installment of “As the Stomach Turns” we find Marc and his chainsaw packing zombie friend just returning from a night of draining the blood bank dry. M: Boy, that B-Positive just hit the spot Z: I just can’t hold my AB like I used to. What are they cutting that stuff with these days? M: Yeah, seemed like the tech added a bit too much plasma, mine was all runny.

04-22-2008, 09:10 AM	#50
nekokami fruminous edugeek Posts: 6,745 Karma: 551260 Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Northeast US Device: iPad, eBw 1150	Zelda, I love your avatar! Marc, I'll have to pass on the chainsaw flick, but if you want to make a movie about the undead lawyers of the entertainment industry, I'm there.

04-22-2008, 10:40 AM	#53
RWood Technogeezer Posts: 7,233 Karma: 1601464 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virginia, USA Device: Sony PRS-500	We need to make the undead lawyers into a SciFi-Horror-Musical . Lots of songs and dancing zombies. The plot is simple (as all great plots must be), Marc is on a quest to find his stolen evil laugh. Early attempts fail and even "Milking the Cow" fail to raise his spirits or the zombie chorus. At the low ebb Marc finds one of Zelda's Pinwheels and blows on it. In a flash ... See the next installment.

04-22-2008, 10:52 AM	#54
nekokami fruminous edugeek Posts: 6,745 Karma: 551260 Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Northeast US Device: iPad, eBw 1150	As long as "Bohemian Rhapsody" can be included in the soundtrack, I'm all for a musical.

04-22-2008, 11:19 AM	#55
NatCh Gizmologist Posts: 11,615 Karma: 929550 Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Republic of Texas Embassy at Jackson, TN Device: Pocketbook Touch HD3	Hmm. Kind of a Rocky Horror Picture Show reimagined with Bohemian Rhapsody as the inspiration. I like it. Wait ... "undead lawyers of the entertainment industry" -- I don't think a musical documentary would work all that well.

05-04-2008, 09:39 AM	#59
montsnmags Grand Sorcerer Posts: 10,155 Karma: 4632658 Join Date: Nov 2007 Device: none	Okay, I have decided that my "I am going to bed!" thread is going to be my "I am going to bed!" thread, and allow (me being a person with such a huge heart...I can't remember where I got it from...I think this one's from some Japanese scientific research vessel...anyway, it fits in my experiment's body cavity, so it'll do) people to use it similarly. Anyway, what I mean is, should you be a nighttime-poster, and you've been inhaling the midnight oil for long enough, please feel most welcome to leave your pre-nightmare guilty confessions within here as your final goodbye. Who knows? You might never wake up, and would you want to have that guilty secret on your conscience? So, here's mine... When I was a kid I put the family goldfish in my mouth to feel it swimming around. It tickled, then it died, but I put it back in the bowl and the family thought it was "natural causes". Thank-you, and good night, Marc (Can't sleep; goldfish will eat me)

05-04-2008, 09:42 AM	#60
zelda_pinwheel zeldinha zippy zeldissima Posts: 27,827 Karma: 921169 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Paris, France Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?	(can't sleep ; having a terrible dream of being trapped in a reddish-black cave with spongy floor, with walls made of white boulders, not enough air, and incessant earthquakes.)

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