Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 627

Nate the great · 09-25-2016, 03:30 PM

Did you read about the stolen furniture fence arrested last week?

The police caught him buying hot water beds.

PieMan597 · 09-25-2016, 04:00 PM

My cat died.
RIP Fluffy McMittens
2002-2003 2003-2005 2005-2007 2007-2008 2008-2011 2011-2013 2013-2014 2014-2015 2015-2016

orlok · 09-25-2016, 05:19 PM

My parents just said they want another child.
"I'd love a sibling!" I insisted.
"That's not what we meant," they replied.

Nate the great · 09-25-2016, 06:03 PM

Show me where Trotsky was buried and I will show you a communist plot.

drjd · 09-26-2016, 01:07 PM

“In a family 'Coffee Business' intake of outsiders is a filtered process to prevent spilling the beans!”

drjd · 09-28-2016, 07:06 AM

“A few boxers were standing in a line. That's the punch line!”

Nate the great · 09-29-2016, 09:22 AM

Ugh. I can't stand Shakespeare.

His work is bard and he should feel bard.

badgoodDeb · 09-29-2016, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nate the great

Ugh. I can't stand Shakespeare.

His work is bard and he should feel bard.

He leaves you bard to tears?

Purple Lady · 09-29-2016, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

He leaves you bard to tears?

Nate the great · 09-29-2016, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

He leaves you bard to tears?

drjd · 09-30-2016, 05:30 AM

A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."

"Really," answered the neighbor . "What kind is it?"

"Twelve thirty."

John K · 09-30-2016, 08:50 AM

Who is Jack Schitt?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'
Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate and O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt.
The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. They had three children: Dawg, Byrd and Horse.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.
Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.
She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.

Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt,were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.
He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt...

PieMan597 · 10-05-2016, 09:37 PM

Did you know that you can tell the gender of an ant by putting it in water?

If it sinks, then it is a girl ant. If it floats, then it is boyant.

drjd · 10-06-2016, 04:05 AM

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

"Why?"

"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."

drjd · 10-08-2016, 12:53 AM

A guy's on the electric chair. The warden's just about to pull the switch when the guy gets the hiccups.
The warden says, "Do you have any last requests?"
The guy says, "(hic) Yeah... (hic) could you please do (hic)... could you please do something to scare me?"

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09-25-2016, 03:30 PM	#9391
Nate the great Sir Penguin of Edinburgh Posts: 12,375 Karma: 23555235 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: DC Metro area Device: Shake a stick plus 1	Did you read about the stolen furniture fence arrested last week? The police caught him buying hot water beds.

09-25-2016, 04:00 PM	#9392
PieMan597 Still a pie Posts: 6,285 Karma: 37018654 Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: PieTown USA Device: Kindle Touch, OnePlus 7 Pro	My cat died. RIP Fluffy McMittens 2002-2003 2003-2005 2005-2007 2007-2008 2008-2011 2011-2013 2013-2014 2014-2015 2015-2016

09-25-2016, 05:19 PM	#9393
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	My parents just said they want another child. "I'd love a sibling!" I insisted. "That's not what we meant," they replied.

09-25-2016, 06:03 PM	#9394
Nate the great Sir Penguin of Edinburgh Posts: 12,375 Karma: 23555235 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: DC Metro area Device: Shake a stick plus 1	Show me where Trotsky was buried and I will show you a communist plot.

09-26-2016, 01:07 PM	#9395
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	“In a family 'Coffee Business' intake of outsiders is a filtered process to prevent spilling the beans!”

09-28-2016, 07:06 AM	#9396
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	“A few boxers were standing in a line. That's the punch line!”

09-29-2016, 09:22 AM	#9397
Nate the great Sir Penguin of Edinburgh Posts: 12,375 Karma: 23555235 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: DC Metro area Device: Shake a stick plus 1	Ugh. I can't stand Shakespeare. His work is bard and he should feel bard.

09-30-2016, 05:30 AM	#9401
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect." "Really," answered the neighbor . "What kind is it?" "Twelve thirty."

09-30-2016, 08:50 AM	#9402
John K Reader Posts: 266 Karma: 13465550 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: USA Device: Kindle DXG, Kobo Forma	Who is Jack Schitt? For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate and O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: *Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt* married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. They had three children: Dawg, Byrd and Horse. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt,were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them. Sincerely, Crock O. Schitt...

10-05-2016, 09:37 PM	#9403
PieMan597 Still a pie Posts: 6,285 Karma: 37018654 Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: PieTown USA Device: Kindle Touch, OnePlus 7 Pro	Did you know that you can tell the gender of an ant by putting it in water? If it sinks, then it is a girl ant. If it floats, then it is boyant.

10-06-2016, 04:05 AM	#9404
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."

10-08-2016, 12:53 AM	#9405
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A guy's on the electric chair. The warden's just about to pull the switch when the guy gets the hiccups. The warden says, "Do you have any last requests?" The guy says, "(hic) Yeah... (hic) could you please do (hic)... could you please do something to scare me?"