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Old 11-08-2012, 08:55 AM   #5581
steven522
binomial: homo legentem
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very bad asthma attack....
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Old 11-08-2012, 10:07 AM   #5582
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Wailing Wall

In Jerusalem

Spoiler:


In Spain

Spoiler:
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Old 11-08-2012, 11:06 AM   #5583
WT Sharpe
Bah, humbug!
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It's true: The more things change, the more they stay the same, ay least for US citizens. Back in the sixties we all headed to Mexico to get our drugs. Now we go to Canada.
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Old 11-08-2012, 11:16 AM   #5584
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During the long dark nights in the Serengeti, young antelopes often like to scare each other by telling stories about Vlad the Impala.
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Old 11-08-2012, 04:13 PM   #5585
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Quote:
Originally Posted by orlok View Post
During the long dark nights in the Serengeti, young antelopes often like to scare each other by telling stories about Vlad the Impala.
Groan!
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Old 11-08-2012, 06:25 PM   #5586
wodin
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If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
I was mildly dyslexic as a child, and it took me a couple fo times to get it
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Old 11-08-2012, 07:14 PM   #5587
Stitchawl
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Quote:
Originally Posted by orlok View Post
During the long dark nights in the Serengeti, young antelopes often like to scare each other by telling stories about Vlad the Impala.


This may be the best pun I've heard in years. Then again, can the word 'best' really be used when talking about puns?


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Old 11-08-2012, 09:42 PM   #5588
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Guess we wait for an aussies opinion on that, they already have a pest of bunnies.
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Old 11-09-2012, 12:05 AM   #5589
Daithi
Publishers are evil!
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During the long dark nights in the Serengeti, young antelopes often like to scare each other by telling stories about Vlad the Impala.
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Old 11-09-2012, 12:36 PM   #5590
orlok
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How many negative people does it take to change a light bulb?

Loads, and anyway what's the bloody point?
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Old 11-09-2012, 03:53 PM   #5591
Hamlet53
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It's true: The more things change, the more they stay the same, ay least for US citizens. Back in the sixties we all headed to Mexico to get our drugs. Now we go to Canada.
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Old 11-09-2012, 03:57 PM   #5592
Hamlet53
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Daithi View Post
A young man goes to a local pharmacy to buy some condoms, and the pharmacist can tell that the young man is quite nervous. The two start talking and the young man admits that this will be his first time. That pharmacist provides some words of encouragement and tries to calm the young man's nerves.

A few hours later the young man arrives at his girlfriend's house. He meets her parents and has a nice meal with them. After dinner his girlfriend grabs his hand and tells her parents that she and her bo are going to go out for a while. However, to her surprise and annoyance, her boyfriend suggests that the whole family play a game of Monopoly.

Several hours later the game is over and the young man says he is going to head back home. His girlfriend takes him aside and says, "I thought we were going to have sex tonight. Did I do something wrong?"

Her boyfriend replies, "Well maybe you could have told me your father is a pharmacist."

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Old 11-09-2012, 05:14 PM   #5593
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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The first restaurant on the moon isn't doing very well. It's got great food, but no atmosphere.
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Old 11-10-2012, 08:28 AM   #5594
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I was interviewing a blonde girl today for a secretarial job, and got round to some questions about personality.

"If you only had one flaw, what would it be?" I asked.

"Easy," she said, "A bungalow."
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Old 11-10-2012, 03:14 PM   #5595
Bookpossum
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TOP COUNTRY SONG TITLES

1. If the phone don't ring, you'll know it's me.

2. How can I miss you if you won't go away?

3. I liked you better before I got to know you so well.

4. I still miss you baby, but my aim's gettin' better.

5. I wouldn't take her to a dogfight, 'cause I'm afraid she'd win.

6. I'm so miserable without you it's like having you here.

7. If I had shot you when I wanted to I'd be out of prison by now.

8. My wife ran off with my best friend and I sure do miss him.

9. Her teeth was stained by her heart was pure.
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