Unutterably Silly Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day

[PeterT]

A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was.She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious....

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between him and his roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, his son volunteered,“I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you,we are just roommates."

About a week later, his roommate came to him saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

He said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." He sat down and wrote :

Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you ‘did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you ‘did not' take the silver plate But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love,
your son.

Several days later, he received an email from his Mother which read:

Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you ‘do' sleep with your roommate, and I'm not saying that you ‘do not' sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she
would have found the silver plate by now, under her pillow…
Love,
Mom.

[orlok]

"It was your idea that I organise a threesome", my wife said to me, "why aren't you happy?"

"I was hoping to be included", I replied.

[Iznogood]

Originally Posted by orlok

"It was your idea that I organise a threesome", my wife said to me, "why aren't you happy?"

"I was hoping to be included", I replied.

Things doesn't always turn out the way one wishes for...

I wasn't allowed to give you any more karma, but this one really deserves some. So here's some virtual karma to you.

[Fbone]

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

[issybird]

[Fbone]

It’s 2013, why does food still have calories…?

[pilotbob]

Originally Posted by Fbone

It’s 2013, why does food still have calories…?

Erm... that's kind of the point.

[din155]

Originally Posted by orlok

The passengers on a small plane are a quite surprised when the pilots arrive.

The pilots walk up the aisle, both wearing dark glasses. One has a seeing-eye dog, the other is tapping his way with a white-tipped cane.

The cockpit door closes, the engines start up.

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway. People by the windows realize they're heading right towards the water at the end of the runway.

Panic ensues. Screams fill the air. At that very moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly.

Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot. "Y'know, Bob," he says. "One day they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die."

not sure how will feel next time I fly.

[din155]

It happened this morning. I have a pair of jeans that is a bit longer, so I was trying to fold it to the correct length. After trying for 10 minutes I got it about right but unfolded it accidently and started thinking "control z"

[pdurrant]

When her husband abandoned her, she didn't plan any dramatic revenge. No scratched cars or cut up ties.

She just took in the waist of all his clothes by an inch and a half....

[Fbone]

There is no angry way to say "bubbles."

[Fbone]

"Age is just a number" and jail is just a room.

[Freeshadow]

As long as they let me keep the reader... Yes

[orlok]

Can hardly remember how I used to get away from embarrassing situations before I learned the moonwalk.

[steven522]

I just received a container from a Schrödinger's Pet Shop labeled "Cat".

...I'm afraid to open it.