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Old 10-21-2013, 02:26 AM   #166
crich70
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Having exposed the nefarious book writing conspiracy the detective turned his attention to the mystery of where socks went once they entered the dryer.
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Old 10-21-2013, 02:58 AM   #167
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They're abducted by the puppet master of sock puppets.
Sorry couldn't resist.
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Old 10-21-2013, 03:07 AM   #168
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freeshadow View Post
They're abducted by the puppet master of sock puppets.
Sorry couldn't resist.
Shh, You'll ruin the opening of the sequel.
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Old 10-21-2013, 05:09 AM   #169
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Marvin had read that a glass of wine a day is good for your health – practically medicinal – so for the past two years he had been trying to make up for a decade of non-medicinal beer consumption by getting through one bottle each night and anyway Marvin had always firmly believed that more of a good thing made said thing better though he felt that life had not offered him a fair share of opportunities to systematically test his theory.

Last edited by Corkobo; 10-21-2013 at 11:03 AM. Reason: grammar...
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Old 10-21-2013, 06:30 AM   #170
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Harvey had always wanted to marry a Catherine, and had finally found the woman of his dreams, though there was something about Katherine that made him uneasy.


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Old 10-31-2013, 01:14 PM   #171
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It was all true: The villain was dead, the dog barked in the night, and my pajamas were too tight, so where should I begin my story about obsession gone horribly wrong?



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Old 10-31-2013, 02:46 PM   #172
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The headless man walked slowly down the street as if looking for his missing cranium.
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Old 10-31-2013, 11:44 PM   #173
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freeshadow View Post
They're abducted by the puppet master of sock puppets.
Sorry couldn't resist.
On the contrary:

Hogfather (Terry Pratchett), page 201

Quote:
“This sock creature…does it just steal them, or does it eat them?” said the Senior Wrangler.

“Valuable contribution, that man,” said Ridcully, giving up on the Dean. “Right, pass the word along: no one is to look like a sock, understand?”

“How can you—” the Dean began, and stopped.

They all heard it.

…grnf, grnf, grnf…

It was a busy sound, the sound of something with a serious appetite to satisfy.

“The Eater of Socks,” moaned the Senior Wrangler, with his eyes shut.

(stuff happens)

The Eater of Socks looked up at the wizards, cautiously. Then its jaws started to work again.

…grnf, grnf…

“Here, that’s one of mine!” said the Chair of Indefinite Studies, making a grab. The Eater of Socks backed away hurriedly.

It looked like a very small elephant with a very wide, flared trunk, up which one of the Chair’s socks was disappearing.
(This would be when the absence of the titular Hogfather (not EXACTLY Father Christmas) -- due to character assassination -- led to an overabundance of unused belief; when people started wondering where those socks go, their belief coalesced into the responsible entity.)

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Old 11-04-2013, 09:53 AM   #174
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True, it was unfortunate that the alien’s little doughnut-shaped space ship had landed right in the middle of a tray of freshly-baked pastries and goodies sitting on the counter; but the most truly unfortunate turn of events was having a shop that was extremely busy that day with hungry customers.



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Old 11-04-2013, 08:14 PM   #175
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Dan spent a long time building his interstellar communications device and working out a translator for the alien language, and it was only then that he could release his anger with a strongly worded letter demanding compensation for the dental costs after chipping his teeth on the alien’s little doughnut-shaped spaceship.
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Old 11-04-2013, 10:06 PM   #176
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Having received a letter from the solarian star system demanding compensation for a chipped bicuspid Rojan the green laid plans to invade and destroy the culture of the third planet.
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Old 11-04-2013, 10:34 PM   #177
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The authorities couldn't decide whether to shower Dan with accolades for being the first person to establish contact with an alien race, or whether to sentence him to something nasty for starting the first intergalactic war - to which Dan replied, with something of a lisp thanks to his broken teeth, "I didn't thtart it, they did, the horrible little doughnut imitating midgetth!"

Last edited by gmw; 11-04-2013 at 10:49 PM. Reason: Even a throw away first sentence deserves editing.
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Old 11-05-2013, 12:09 AM   #178
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In principle, Fred should have loved police work under the new regime of Emperor Rojan the Green: back to proper old-time policing, no need anymore for all that hippie commie lesbo civil rights bs (when asked about police brutality in a TV interview, the Emperor had looked very puzzled and replied: "But that is the point, isn't it?"), and the creative penalties those little green bastards came up with were a joy to behold - but all that couldn't make up for the ban on doughnuts, which Fred, like most of his colleagues, had finally stopped resisting after the prime time live deep frying of an entire New York precinct.

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Old 11-05-2013, 06:33 AM   #179
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Please don't let this interruption disturb the ongoing first-sentence story of the doughnut-aliens, but the NanoWriMo thread inspired this:

Bart stood back and surveyed the blackboards, realising that he could do the unexpected and publish a novel before Lisa did; in stark white on black he was surrounded by a complete NanoWriMo project, "I must write a ten word sentence five thousand times."
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Old 11-11-2013, 06:35 AM   #180
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He really hadn't expected that using Comic Sans for his mother's obituary would turn out to be such a grave mistake; to think how angry he had been at his sister for her veto against the winking smilie...
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