Speaking to me:Terms and Conditions

[Bob Russell]

Ever get tired of those stupid web sites with all the crazy and imposing terms and conditions. You sign away your life every time you click on "I have read and agree to the terms and conditions for this web site." Of course, it's required just to get into the site, so we don't read it and just click on the Accept button.

Well, Tom Peyer decided to mock them with his own set of terms and conditions, this time they are the conditions you must agree to in order to communicate with him!

Very clever. You can find the article at Slate.

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Speaking to Me: Terms and Conditions
Please retain for your records.
By Tom Peyer
Posted Wednesday, Oct. 26, 2005, at 3:58 AM ET

Your license to speak to Tom Peyer is subject to compliance with these Terms and Conditions. You acknowledge and agree that Tom Peyer may terminate your access should you fail to comply with the Terms and Conditions, or with any other guidelines and rules established by Tom Peyer at any time.

1. You agree, through the act of speaking to Tom Peyer, that you will not transmit any material which is knowingly false and/or defamatory, unlawful, harmful, hateful, harassing, threatening, abusive, vulgar, obscene, repetitive, dull, shrill, unfunny, or otherwise objectionable. You agree not to transmit to Tom Peyer any re-enactments of more than fifteen (15) seconds in duration of any comedy bits from television, motion pictures, or other technology now known or later developed.

2. Tom Peyer shall not be liable to you for any loss of revenue arising out of or in connection with your interactions with Tom Peyer.

3. In cases where you have authorized a minor to speak to Tom Peyer, you acknowledge that Tom Peyer's speech may contain material that is inappropriate for minors.

4. Tom Peyer may be spoken to solely for noncommercial purposes. Your speech may not transmit to Tom Peyer any message for commercial purposes or any message that contains advertising.

5. Tom Peyer is not intended for use as a sounding board for creative works. Tom Peyer shall have no responsibility for any similarities between any screenplays, novels, jokes, short stories, comic strips, short humor pieces, or other creative works described to him in violation of his Terms and Conditions, and any works subsequently sold by Tom Peyer as any such similarity shall be purely coincidental. By telling Tom Peyer any ideas for screenplays, novels, jokes, short stories, comic strips, short humor pieces, or other creative works, you waive any claims for credit or consideration of any kind as a result of Tom Peyer's sale of any similar material in any medium.

6. By speaking to Tom Peyer, you grant the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable, nonexclusive, unrestricted worldwide license to use, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate, create derivative works from, distribute, perform, and display the material (in whole or part) worldwide and/or to incorporate it in other works in any form, media, or technology now known or later developed, including in any parallel universes.

7. If you do not want your ideas to be reproduced, please feel free to never speak to Tom Peyer.

Tom Peyer is a co-editor of O Holy Cow: The Selected Verses of Phil Rizzuto.

[Colin Dunstan]

I never understood the relevance of clickable "Terms and Conditions"... from what I've heard, they have virtually no weight in legal disputes.