My book - What Enchantment Hides! Not done...

[Chicky]

“Cornelius! Save her!” A distraught young woman came stumbling toward the old wizard, yet within moments after her cry, lay fainted on the cobblestones outside of the great royal hall. Bound by a sorceress’ curse, the wizard was helpless to free the young princess from the hunters, for his powers had been greatly limited. His very soul was torn in two, as he turned to revive the unconscious queen. An infant’s cry brought his gaze once more, to the palace gates. Then, with his heart bleeding, he turned back to the mother who would never again see her child.




A cry of pain came from the beyond the big wooden door that separated the violence on the other side from the small child hiding under the bed. The boy ducked further under the bed frame. Screams of pain and suffering echoed in the other room. Tears filled the boy’s majestic eyes, as he hid, desperately hoping to stay that way. Hearing a bang, the child looked to the door to see the wood split, and his mother hit the floor. Blood dripped down from her temple, and her crystal blue eyes were wide with terror. Tears flowed down her cheeks as she saw her son under the bed, his royal eyes filled with trepidation. Deep footsteps were heard entering the room, and gloved hands grabbed the back of the woman’s shirt, yanking her from the floor. The sound of a blade sliding through flesh reached his ears. A deafening screech of pain sounded loudly. The female body thudded in front of the boy, the blood smeared on her face and body. Glazed eyes were filled with a past horror and undeserved pain. Visions of her suffering displayed itself in his mind, “Anohean,” she whispered. His purple eyes let tears loose, and a leather-covered hand grasped his tunic. A hooded face stared him in the eyes, and a dread more vile than any a human had ever known gripped the poor child. Fear invaded Anohean’s very soul, making him struggle before he was even able to think. One thought was able to make connection with his mind as he flailed his arms and legs. The idea was the only chance he had to escape.

He stopped struggling and looked his attacker in the eyes. His opponent was overcome by a curious confusion, and met the glare with his own death-like scowl. The boy swung his feet up and made contact with the man’s face. He dropped, and ran like a rabbit. Past the assailant, out the door, down the cobblestone walk, and slid to an immediate stop. Shock brought him to a halt, and horror held him captive. The princess was being carried away, and her guardian stood, helpless; having to look on at the devastation. He closed his eyes and shook his head, tears flowing down his now pale cheeks. The crunch of stones brought him around, face to face with his pursuer. A slap across the face, and a bang on the head, and he was down.





A callused hand swung down forcefully, making contact with the boy's temple, knocking him to the cold, hard floor. He shook his head as his vision blurred, trying to see straight. His mind whirled as his nerves stung. He pushed himself back, along the floor, to the wall. A woman's voice rang out from the doorway across the room. The man turned, a raging fire of spite in his dark eyes. “Leave my son alone, Leckom!” Her eyes were firm and her jaw was set.

The man grasped her wrist and pulled her close to him. “He's my son more than he is yours.” Fear entered into the woman's eyes. “Don't tell me how to run my family.” His voice stung as it whipped her in the face.

She shook with trepidation, but she would not be silenced. “You are a monster!” she screamed at him.

She dropped as the back of her husband's hand snapped her face to the side. Gray eyes flicked back and forth between the man and the woman. He watched blood trickle from the corner of her mouth, dripping down to stain the floor. Kikarii saw his mother get to her knees and meet his father's lethal glare. Her crystal blue eyes were wet and looked like glass. “How dare you defy me in front of my son!” his voice boomed, causing Kikarii to cringe. “He'd be a man already, if you did not pamper him, Amora!” A small moan escaped her blood-covered lips as Leckom's boot was forced into her ribcage. Amora coughed up dark blood, dying the floor a deathly crimson. The red stains joined with the splatter spots from previous abuses.

Stormy eyes looked into Amora's sapphire eyes, letting her see the thunder and lightning crashing behind them. The stench of blood and old boards was in the air, sickening to the senses. “Run, Kik,” she said between the heaving gasps for air. “Run.” Her face glowed with the fading light that leaked in through the shuttered window. Dusk was oncoming, and night was soon. The boy's father stepped forward, the thud of his boot making Kikarii flinch. His eyes shifted to his father's face, saw the loathing in the gray eyes, then moved to to his mother. Tears streamed down her battered cheeks, and a moment later, the boy forced his muscles to motion.

Leckom started at his son, rage flaring behind his glare. Struggling to his feet, Kikarii made a break for the door. The other gave chase, but the attempt was made in vain. Amora tripped the big man to save her son who ran, desperately, for his life.

Outside, the boy turned and peeked through the shuttered window to watch his mother abused for the last time. A blood spatter decorated the window before his eyes, and he took off running. The sound of Leckom's boot hitting the floor replayed over and over in his head. Darkness set in, and the only sounds were his breathing, the crunch of leaves beneath his feet, and the murmuring of crickets in the woods. Broken moonlight lit his way, yet his lost mind shadowed his destination.

A sparrow picked at the odd, wavy grass. The birds had just risen and were searching for food. Kikarii wrinkled his nose and slowly rolled over. His eyes shot open as he dropped from the tree. Twigs snapped as he hit the ground, and a groan slipped from his lips. He looked up at the low branch he had used as his bed, as he tried to catch his breath. The events of the night before came back to memory, and his head burned with a hot pain. Insects skittered through the leaves around his head, the noise loud to his weary senses. His head pounded, and the nature around him seemed to whisper words of comfort to his child's mind. Despite the calm that surrounded him, the unsettled beating of his heart told him that he could never go back again; that the point of no return had been passed and left behind.

Sunlight shone down, spotted, through the leaves and branches to give his features an ephemeral glow. The boy's eyes sparkled in the light, and his mind wandered as he stared up into the almost cloudless sky. Images of past events passed before his eyes as if from a projector, the windowpane spattered crimson weighing on his thoughts. In his mind, the red droplets seemed to make a pattern. A spiral. Either that, or it was merely his thoughts spinning and forcing uncertainty on his already skittish mind.

The beginning of the day was cool, the crisp air was not quite still, and the pale blue sky smiling down at him as if his problems were insignificant, or even nonexistent. Birds sang in the trees, offering a melody of comfort and protection. His nostrils caught the fresh smell of nature's elegant perfume that it would don after each new rain. Young, childish features observed every detail of his surroundings, taking in the sunlit patterns, and the shadowed splotches likewise. His view of the forest, with all its splendor, was dreamy; almost seductive.

Out of the near silence, came the snapping of twigs, and the ominous crunching of leaves thereafter. In a moment, the boy was on his feet. Strength-wise, he was nothing to fear, yet his speed was an ability enough to strike awe into nearly every onlooker. He spun on his heals to face the sound that had threatened him. Wonder took him as he stared, his mouth a gaping cavern, at the old man before him. It was not the oldest man he'd ever seen, or at least did not appear to be. However, there was not much in the world that explained itself by its appearance. Half of the man's face was hidden in the shadow of his cowl, yet even the imposing hood could not overcome the bright rays of the sun hat escaped the reaching leaves that sought to keep them from reaching the ground. Somehow, almost as it by instinct, the boy knew a little about the man who stood before him inquiringly.

“Kikarii.” The other's voice was low as he said the name, the sound rolling off the stranger's tongue so deliberately, it seemed as if he had been searching for this meeting for many years. In the depth of his unrevealing eyes, Kikarii could see many years of trials, loss, and an unprecedented strength and intimidation.

“Who are you, wizard?” he replied, his attempt at appearing calm not quite succeeding.
“Are you afraid?” the other asked.
The boy slowly shook his head. “No.”
“Are you nervous?”
Skeptically, he nodded. “Yes.” His heart thudded loudly in his chest as his mind tried to sort out the reason for this occurrence.

The sounds of the forest around them were suddenly insignificant and somewhat distant, as two strangers faced each other under the green boughs. Moments elapsed as stubborn as hours, and all nature seemed to cease its activities to become a spectator at this peculiar happening. “Follow me,” the wizard said, breaking the silence so suddenly that it nearly made the boy jump. Curiosity and dubiety held him back and pushed him forward simultaneously as he tried to make sense of what was happening.

“Why?” the boy finally asked after a minute of confused thought. His eyes were intense as he studied his acquaintance.

“Where are you going to get food? Where are you going to go? What are you going to do with yourself?” he inquired. He knew what he was doing, and he knew it would work. “Answer one of those confidently, and you'll have a reason not to come with me.” His eyes were bright with plot, and a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Hesitantly, Kikarii stepped forward. There was no way of knowing what he was getting into, but he knew one thing for certain. Anything was better than staying here.




Orange eyes glistened in the early morning light. Kiskor met her gaze with his own dark green enchantment. Surika slapped him and ran, her light figure moving effortlessly over the grass to the cover of the trees. Hot on her track, the other sprinted after her. Long minutes passed like hours as they raced beneath the trees. Chipmunks skittered through the brush, and birds raced the two children overhead. Kiskor reached out and grasped the back of the girl's Elven tunic, pulling her back. He held her firm with one hand and tickled her with the other. She squirmed and squealed as he grabbed her side. His laughter echoed in her ears, and she joined him, losing her breath all the while. A moment later she broke loose and threw his attack back at him. She tackled him onto the forest floor and laughed at him as he wriggled on the mossy carpet. Finally she dropped down beside him. Her orange eyes gazed up at the clouds, naming the shapes and telling simple stories behind them. Kiskor accompanied her in the activity, his childish Elven features sharp against the morning light.

Hoof beats broke the calm, and a peculiar atmosphere settled over them. Simultaneously they got to their feet, and ducking down, watched two horses gallop past. They met each others' confused stare before rising and giving chase. When they arrived at the clearing where the horsemen had halted, they caught sight of the Elven leader. Before him stood a wizard and a boy. What is going on? Why would a wizard be here? Surika's thoughts spun around and around in her mind. She was about to find her answer, though she would have been much happier not knowing.

“Surika!” came an unwelcoming holler. Hesitantly, the Elf moved from the cover of the bushes, Kiskor following close behind. “You are to be put into the care of the wizard, Cornelius, from this moment forward.”

The words slapped her across the face as she stared, unseeing, past the two outsiders. Kiskor lunged at the tall wizard, a flame of hatred burning deep in his green eyes. The unknown boy shot from the wizard's side, slamming into the Elf's gut. Surika turned, her rage built. She launched herself through the air, her body crashing into Kiskor's assailant. He tumbled to the forest floor, throwing Surika into the trunk of a nearby Oak.

“Kikarii!” a harsh voice boomed. Kikarii backhanded Surika as she made an attempt to rise. Kiskor's fury burned brightly, and he hurled himself toward the other. A large hand caught him, throwing him to the ground. Cornelius stood above him, deep set eyes daring him to retaliate. His eyes caught sight of Surika, her wrists held by Kikarii. A hateful anger began rising up from within. “Kikarii. Release her!”

The woods were silent. Even the breeze had ceased blowing to become an spectator of this rare occurrence. Kikarii stepped back in obedience at the order, watching Surika scurry across the grass to Kiskor. Wrath boiled behind the other's gray eyes as he watched.

A sudden noise brought them all around. Elven hunters came up beside Kiskor, whose younger sister Keska watched,unnoticed, from the branches above. Surika's mare was brought out to her, and she was commanded to mount. Tears glistened in her eyes, threatening to fall. Cornelius stood quietly by. A hunter grasped Surika to tear her from Kiskor. Now her tears fell. They streamed down her face as she was pulled away. Kiskor tried to reach for her, but was held back by those around him. He screamed for her as tears rolled down his cheeks. Their fingers touched, then she was put on the horse. The wizard mounted behind her, leaving his horse to follow along with Kikarii. He dug his heels into the horse's sides and shot off. Kiskor let out another cry, the tears soaking his tunic, and a deep hatred in his keen eyes.

A moment later, he was alone. Or so he thought. The snapping of twigs sounded from above him. He looked up to see his sister land on his face. She slammed him into the ground, rolling to the side. “Keska?” His voice was full of shock and confusion.

Her deep green eyes were wide with adventure, and they stared like large windows to another world. “She's been banished,” she said finally. “She is not fully Elf. They banished her, cause she's not all Elf.” She was so innocent, her optimistic eyes always searching and learning. However, she could steal information like no other. She was a thief for her brother, and they took pride in the fact. “They brought the wizard so Rika wouldn't be alone. I miss her.” A tear dropped from her eyelashes and made it's way down her face.

Quickly, Kiskor wiped it away, forgetting his own pain. “Come back home with me, Kes. You need your sleep.” He hoisted her up onto his back, and carried her through the trees.

The sun continued to rise in the sky, yet this time, the light was nearly cold, and the feel of it stung like poisoned needles. It shone on two broken hearts, its beams like daggers, and its warmth like hot coals burning through their veins.

[pshrynk]

Chicky - Sent you a PM.

[Chicky]

This is part of the first chapter. It's the background stories of the main characters.

[pshrynk]

I'm struggling a bit with trying to figure the ages of the children. I think if you were to spend some verbage on developing ages a bit more, it would benefit the tale by slowing down the shifts form one character to another, allowing for us to get a better feel for who is who.

Fast development of premise, however. I'm guessing a Quest Tale with a fellowship of at least three youngsters and the wizard cornelius? Maybe to free the Princess?

[Chicky]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

I'm struggling a bit with trying to figure the ages of the children. I think if you were to spend some verbage on developing ages a bit more, it would benefit the tale by slowing down the shifts form one character to another, allowing for us to get a better feel for who is who.

Fast development of premise, however. I'm guessing a Quest Tale with a fellowship of at least three youngsters and the wizard cornelius? Maybe to free the Princess?

That is merely a background, and it skips years ahead for the actual book after these and one more. I am still working on more details for the first one maybe two background paragraphs. The bigger spaces separate the separate the different background stories.

[pshrynk]

I figured that there would be a significant jump in time. The rapid sequence intros are filled with emotional tags and set up the way that the characters could be in future times.

[Chicky]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

I figured that there would be a significant jump in time. The rapid sequence intros are filled with emotional tags and set up the way that the characters could be in future times.

Yes. Exactly! It is showing how the characters got to be how they are in the rest of the book.